AudiHax Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 I don't know what to say...I've been with him for 5 years in a LDR and recently he started college again, but now there's this one girl in his class that he's become close to...She winks at him on his facebook and (don't judge me for this part), I looked at his email and he recently sent an email to her subject "cutie" and then said that he enjoyed talking to her after class today and will see her tomorrow at college. then he did a wink face. I'm so so so so hurt. I never loved anybody like I loved him, and I have no idea what I would do if we broke up. I just feel like he's going to get tempted by her, because she's there with him every day while I'm not. I'm going insane. I feel like I can't trust him anymore, even though we've been through so much together and I really believed he would never cheat on me. But after the stuff I saw him say to her, it just hurts not knowing where he is or what he's doing every second of the day. I'm lost, and I honestly can't live my life without him...He's become my other half all these years, I can't walk away.
hellhathnofury Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 You might not be able to, but it sounds as if he can. Have you had the 'commitment' talk with him?
Zev Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 Based on recent personal experience, my advice is to do exactly what you ended with - walk away. It's either going to hurt now or hurt later. Unless you're ok not knowing that he's slept with this girl, or if you can forgive him sleeping with this girl. Because it's going to happen. I'm sorry.
Omei Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 It's either going to hurt now or hurt later. Unless you're ok not knowing that he's slept with this girl, or if you can forgive him sleeping with this girl. Because it's going to happen. I'm sorry. Ouch? are you a fortune teller? I agree with first post talk to him first, see where you stand.
amerikajin Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 I don't know what to say...I've been with him for 5 years in a LDR and recently he started college again, but now there's this one girl in his class that he's become close to...She winks at him on his facebook and (don't judge me for this part), I looked at his email and he recently sent an email to her subject "cutie" and then said that he enjoyed talking to her after class today and will see her tomorrow at college. then he did a wink face. I'm so so so so hurt. I never loved anybody like I loved him, and I have no idea what I would do if we broke up. I just feel like he's going to get tempted by her, because she's there with him every day while I'm not. I'm going insane. I feel like I can't trust him anymore, even though we've been through so much together and I really believed he would never cheat on me. But after the stuff I saw him say to her, it just hurts not knowing where he is or what he's doing every second of the day. I'm lost, and I honestly can't live my life without him...He's become my other half all these years, I can't walk away. I would say that you need to start thinking about life without him. I know it hurts, but you can only control 1/2 of this relationship and it doesn't seem like he's interested in maintaining the relationship. He might have his own reasons for ending it and people should ordinarily try to understand them, but he needs to end it honorably and be straight with you. If I were in your position, I would just have the talk with him. Find out what he wants and explain your concerns.
Author AudiHax Posted October 9, 2010 Author Posted October 9, 2010 Thanks for the advice guys. He emailed me last night, a long email explaining things. He reassured me that nothing was happening with another person and that I need to stop thinking that way...He said that if he wanted 'something different' he would just tell me out straight rather than waste my time or his. The thing is, even though he was convincing and I want to believe him, I still have this part of me that doubts. He is a pretty trusting person, but what about those email that he sent her saying "cutie" to another girl!!!! Is that even normal? A guy calling another girl cute when he has a girlfriend?? That's what's getting me down the most, but I can't tell him about it because he will accuse me of reading his emails...(i know i was wrong) I'm currently going to college in my own country, but in two weeks I will have midterm for a whole week. I would LOVE to fly to the US and go to my boyfriend's college and house, without him knowing that i was there. Just to be a spectator and watch what he does around this other girl in his class. After a few days I would come out and let him know that I was there. But I know my parents would hate the idea of me paying all that money just to go there for one week, and that's the ONLY reason that is stopping me... What do you guys think of my plan? Because i feel its the only way that my heart will be put to rest.
Citizen Erased Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 I vote for you not flying to another country to stalk your boyfriend.
Kamille Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 I vote for you not flying to another country to stalk your boyfriend. +1. How about flying over to see your bf and talk in person instead? The bonus is that you will get to spend time with him.
Eeyore79 Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Just seeing that email would be reason enough for me to dump him. Sorry
amerikajin Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 He is a pretty trusting person, but what about those email that he sent her saying "cutie" to another girl!!!! Is that even normal? A guy calling another girl cute when he has a girlfriend?? That's what's getting me down the most, but I can't tell him about it because he will accuse me of reading his emails...(i know i was wrong) Nope. It's not normal -- well, it's normal for those who have developed interest in another person or have lost feelings for their partner, but otherwise, no, it's not normal. Don't let him try to convince you that it is. And please, don't spend $1000 on an air ticket just so you can be dumped in person. You can do that for free. I know that's not what you want to read, but you can do better.
Omei Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 Nope. It's not normal -- well, it's normal for those who have developed interest in another person or have lost feelings for their partner, but otherwise, no, it's not normal. Don't let him try to convince you that it is. And please, don't spend $1000 on an air ticket just so you can be dumped in person. You can do that for free. I know that's not what you want to read, but you can do better. I totally agree it's not normal. But at the same time I think some girls get away with calling everyone hun, or darling..guys cant get away with it too? anyway id be mad too. And I agree with amerikajin and Citizen Erased doing that plan is not a good idea, spending money to get dumped in person sucks and even if you didn't get dumped you may be after pulling a stalk routine.
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