unsure24 Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 Not really sure where this goes. But here seemed appropriate. I was dating a guy for a little under a year. We split a little over a month ago, for the second time. I was heartbroken, but we kept in contact. We kept in contact. We both agreed that we loved each other, but it just wasn't leading to a marriage. Over the month, I've gone back and forth over whether we're doing the right thing. So, after ending up in bed together the last time we spoke, I decided to go no contact to help me move on. About 5 days after that, I get a phone call from him at midnight accusing me of lying to him about spending the night at another guy's house. Which I didn't. I explained to him it was a miscommunication about a time frame between me and the person i was talking to. I was talking about years ago while she thought I was talking about something that happened recently. Even after my explanation, he was still infuriated and proceeded to yell at me via text message until 2 am. This accusing me of lying about things that happened with other guys was a theme throughout our relationship. I was completely in love and always faithful. So now, I'm starting to think that maybe he was the one cheating. Is there any truth to he who screams loudest is the one that's actually guilty? Also, I've tried to reconcile before, and he's said no. In fact, it was he who actually made the call to break up. So, why does he care? Why wouldn't he take this news as confirming that he made a good decision? Is there a chance that he still may want to get back together? The horribly stupid part of this whole situation is that I still love him and still want to work things out. Or I wouldn't have stayed up until 2 am texting him. Any thoughts?
hellhathnofury Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 Yeah. turn off your 'phone at night. What the hell ever happened to 'talking face to face'? When you talk to people, there is less likelihood of misunderstanding and accusations flying everywhere. I'm sorry - texting for 2 hours?? If he was at the other end of the 'phone - why not dial it to talk to him? Honestly, I am just curious here......
Author unsure24 Posted October 8, 2010 Author Posted October 8, 2010 We did actually talk over the phone at some point in the middle of all the texting, probably for about 30 minutes in the whole 2 hours. But he was just screaming and said he didn't want to talk. And the fact that I was being calm was aggravating him even more, and I really don't take well to being yelled at. So, I was willing to text, but not talk. I can be more rational and calm when I don't have someone screaming in my ear or face. Oh, and he was out... at a bar... while all of this was going on.
hellhathnofury Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 refer to my first point. "You can rant and rave all you like. I am warning you now: I am about to turn my phone off. In the morning, I will delete all your messages unread. If you wish to speak with me then, if you are feeling more rational, I'd be happy to meet up and talk. Otherwise, this conversation is over." It's not difficult, and would have saved you a great deal of heartache. Texting in such cases, is as bad as checking FB when you've broken up. Ultimately unproductive, and self-sabotaging.
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