fireinthesky Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 My GF cheated on me a few months ago and recently I found out. We've since broken up and have been NC for a few days now. Previous to NC she'd been quite cold and offish in emails, probably because of some silly and vicious things I'd said, because I was hurt. I will be seeing her in a weeks time, where we will be talking about what happened. I was wondering what I should be looking for if she is wants to get back together with me? What kind of things should I try to avoid saying?
SithLord Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 Why are you going to see her chief? Disappear off into the night without a trace. U r in her negative zone, go into no contact from anythin... No contact is to make u heal
Gt.ooh Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 My GF cheated on me a few months ago and recently I found out. We've since broken up and have been NC for a few days now. Previous to NC she'd been quite cold and offish in emails, probably because of some silly and vicious things I'd said, because I was hurt. I will be seeing her in a weeks time, where we will be talking about what happened. I was wondering what I should be looking for if she is wants to get back together with me? What kind of things should I try to avoid saying? Ever heard of the stealth bomber? Fly under the radar my friend...If she cheated on you. Big red flag to even see or talk to her right now. I don't think there's much to talk about right now.. fact is she cheated.. something was a miss in the relationship I would assume, and if u talk now your not going to be in the right mind-set to even approach the situation.
grungesponge Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 Why do you want her back? I would really take a long hard think about that because it is probably just the sex. Do you really value yourself so little that you would take someone back into your life after they betrayed you so horribly? I would avoid this chick like the plague. You will regret it if you take her back.
Author fireinthesky Posted October 8, 2010 Author Posted October 8, 2010 Thanks guys - you are all right. Though her and I are in different countries at the moment.. There's the slight issue - she's going to be the one fetching me at the airport, so NC is almost impossible. Should I just tell her not to be at the airport and email her telling her I don't want to talk to her again? NC would probably need to be started again from there I guess? It's difficult because we've shared so many things for the past few years, on a daily basis. Except she didn't share the cheating part!!
handsomeone Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Take it from someone who's been in your shoes. Go N/C from her for the rest of your life. It's the best thing you can do. It will show her that you respect yourself and will not tolerate this type of disrespect. If you do that she will also realize that what she did was because she's messed up in the head not because of something "you did" which she is currently reciting in her head to justify her act. If you take her back you will affirm and validate her belief and leave her open to cheat again next time she deems it necessary to take revenge on you. Shut the door on her face, detox by staying no contact, work on yourself, and start to open and see what's behind the many doors that will become unlocked once you lock her out of your life. I promise you, you will not regret it if you do those things, but if you take her back I can 99% promise you will regret it. Take Care Friend.
ocn307 Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 I think everyone is giving you good advice OP. NC is the way to get sane, and the only way you'd get her back if you're open to being cheated on again. rarely does that upper hand switch mates, but right know she owns you and that's no way to live. You should really just put her behind you and 'EJECT!'
Author fireinthesky Posted October 9, 2010 Author Posted October 9, 2010 (edited) You have given me a lot of strength. I can't thank you enough. I have one last question before I go the NC route - should I just email her (written it already), or talk to her on skype and tell her face-to-face that I don't want to hear from her ever again, considering we've been together for a while? Seems slightly odd to send a flat email, but I'm not really bothered with either way to be honest... I did love her immensely! Part of me still does I forgot to add - we were in a LDR for about one year, up until now. She cheated on me 2 months after she'd left, which I didnt know about til a few days ago... although thinking about it, when is actually quite irrelevant! Edited October 9, 2010 by fireinthesky
tornandmarried Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 yeah dont take her back, dont even think about wanting her back...thats what i did, got her back and now im "tornandmarried"....let her go....dont even write her that u dont want to talk...that gives u room to regrete saying it....just disapear and ignore her attempts to talk to u...find a nice girl with morals that wont cheat on you
nittanylion Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Hell no, I mean fking no getting back. When a love one cheats on you, it means she dont respect, and love you for who you are. There is no fking recipe to get back after someone cheats on you. Comprise! Get through you freaking head, dont go back. Dont go backward. Move forward with your life. Trust me, when love one cheats on their love one, the feeling will never be the same cause trust issues damage. Got it!
Author fireinthesky Posted October 9, 2010 Author Posted October 9, 2010 Well, it's done - I emailed her saying I wouldn't be at the airport and I explained too that I wouldn't go where I wasn't wanted. It hurt like f**k, but I did it It's going to hurt for a very long time, I know it. It's up there with the hardest things I've ever done. But strangely, I feel like a massive weight has been lifted. Whether or not I hear from her again, I am not sure. And it fills me with so much sorrow that I may not see her again. But I need to wake up and smell the Starbucks - she did this to me. Now to quit smoking again... I wouldn't have been able to do it without the wise words above. Thank you all!
seibert253 Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Well, it's done - I emailed her saying I wouldn't be at the airport and I explained too that I wouldn't go where I wasn't wanted. It hurt like f**k, but I did it It's going to hurt for a very long time, I know it. It's up there with the hardest things I've ever done. But strangely, I feel like a massive weight has been lifted. Whether or not I hear from her again, I am not sure. And it fills me with so much sorrow that I may not see her again. But I need to wake up and smell the Starbucks - she did this to me. Now to quit smoking again... I wouldn't have been able to do it without the wise words above. Thank you all! BRAVO. Great job. Yes a great weight is lift off your shoulders. This was so hard because you know it was the right thing to do. You're hurting like hell now, but in the long run you will be soooo much better. The job's not done yet. Odds are the she will try and contact you, boo hoo, I'm sorry, let's work it out, blah, blah, blah. Don't fall for it and be strong. Block her email, cellphone, everything. Here's the best NC advise I can give; it's as if space aliens abducted her, and she no longer exists. Plain and simple. Good Luck to you.
Author fireinthesky Posted October 9, 2010 Author Posted October 9, 2010 BRAVO. Great job. Yes a great weight is lift off your shoulders. This was so hard because you know it was the right thing to do. You're hurting like hell now, but in the long run you will be soooo much better. The job's not done yet. Odds are the she will try and contact you, boo hoo, I'm sorry, let's work it out, blah, blah, blah. Don't fall for it and be strong. Block her email, cellphone, everything. Here's the best NC advise I can give; it's as if space aliens abducted her, and she no longer exists. Plain and simple. Good Luck to you. Thank you seibert! I will do my best and stick to the NC. I was actually surprised at how nice I was in the email to her. I could've let loose and been completely nasty, but I wasn't. The extent to which she lied to me is actually unbelievable, and it would shock everyone I'm sure of that. There was so much deception it seems everything she ever was, was just a wicked lie. It pains me to think of it even, but it might help to get over her.
yamanbt Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Why do you want her back? I would really take a long hard think about that because it is probably just the sex. Do you really value yourself so little that you would take someone back into your life after they betrayed you so horribly? I would avoid this chick like the plague. You will regret it if you take her back. ^^^ I co-sign this.
yamanbt Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Well, it's done - I emailed her saying I wouldn't be at the airport and I explained too that I wouldn't go where I wasn't wanted. It hurt like f**k, but I did it It's going to hurt for a very long time, I know it. It's up there with the hardest things I've ever done. But strangely, I feel like a massive weight has been lifted. Whether or not I hear from her again, I am not sure. And it fills me with so much sorrow that I may not see her again. But I need to wake up and smell the Starbucks - she did this to me. Now to quit smoking again... I wouldn't have been able to do it without the wise words above. Thank you all! Congrats, dude.
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