Bryanp Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 I would like for you to consider one more thing. It is quite possible that down the line the boyfriend will tell her the truth for whatever reason. At that point your friendship will forever be broken because you were not honest and upfront with her in the first place.
hellhathnofury Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 ..... I'll be leaving sometime today though so if I don't reply it means I'm not coming back. well, Miss Fabulousprincess, don't take this the wrong way, but a forum name can speak volumes about how people perceive themselves, in their presentation of themselves. I'm sorry, but you're coming across as a little bit spoilt and contrary, and in trying to justify your stance, what you're actually doing is making yourself sound less admirable. Try to forget your justification in this. Try to forget how you feel, and what you think. Look at it purely and simply from your best friend's PoV. And maybe you should try getting in touch with her BF and having a quiet word with him, about how he feels, and what his opinion is of stuff. Ask him whether he feels he has a completely clear conscience, because you haven't. You need to resolve this, one way or another. The bottom line is this: I think if this thread has served any purpose, it's simply to make you understand that there are no easy answers, and that it's not always the most unpalatable solutions, which are wrong.
Dexter Morgan Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 It has been 11 months later since I made out with my friend's fiance at a party but we were both very wasted. lousy character is lousy character, don't try to excuse it away by saying BUT you were just drunk. aint no BUTs about it. There was certain deep grinding and a very long making-out session. Anyways she doesn't know about this but will this ever come to light? hopefully, for your friend's sake. I know I've done something wrong but don't want this to ruin our friendship. well you can't be too good of friends with her to eff her over in this way. and forget the friendship, you now have first hand knowledge that she is going to marry a cheater. friends' don't let friends marry aholes. Any way I can get rid of this guilt without her finding out about it? nope. in fact, it will only get worse. not only did you eff her over, you are about to let her marry a jackass....good luck with that on your conscience. only way to truly make it right is to tell her. otherwise, you'll just have to live with it (which I have no doubt in time you'll be just fine with yourself as long as you don't have to face the consequences of your actions) on a side note, putting "princess" in your username is all too telling.
Dexter Morgan Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 (edited) I'll solve this on my own no....you won't...unless "solving" it means just burying it and getting over it in your own time. and no I don't be telling my friend this incident as most of you have been practically lecturing as if it was a court or something. quit calling her your friend. of course you won't be telling her. you are going to let her marry a cheating jackass. thats 2 counts against you for not being a "friend"...1) you messed around with her fiance, and 2) you are going to let her marry him with the knowledge you have. This isn't worth destroying a friendship nor sabotaging their relationship. again, there is no friendship, and they don't have a relationship. he will end up just cheating on her later on too. and you'll let it all happen. I know her fiance is regretting this too as he's the one that stopped things before going further. Even when I was going after him, he just pushed me aside and left me alone. so you were trying to excuse your actions on being drunk, but you weren't drunk enough to know that YOU were GOING AFTER him.? I smell bs here. That part of the reason I feel more guiltier than her fiance. As another poster stated before, at least he had the fiber to put a halt to it while I didn't. he doesn't get points for stopping it....sorry. no fiber here. Fiber would be not getting into anything at all with you. I completely lost control so in a way I thank him it didn't proceeded. This was my point but many didn't understand this for whatever reason. What I have is called a hidden guilt because I'm feeling rotten on the inside. However, I know this will be my burden to hold within me. I think this is worst than placing a burden to both my friend and their relationship. Why should I give it to others than I'm the one guilty about it? I see no point. of course you don't, you are too chicken to come clean and will be allowing her to marry someone that didn't love her enough to keep his hands off you and to not stop you at the first advance. I don't understand it either. That's like lecturing over spilled milk. You spilled some milk and someone comes telling you how you should have been careful and asking why didn't you have common sense, etc. no, its like telling you how to clean up the milk.....you just want to leave it all over the floor, while the people in here are telling you how to sop it up. Edited October 11, 2010 by Dexter Morgan
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