4givrnt4gtr Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 I dont know where to post this, and hopefully someone who can read this can give me some idea of whether my fears are irrational ( i think they might be). I just broke up with my bf of 6 months. Going into it I knew he had problems with drugs when he was younger. At first I thought he meant pot or something but once we started dating he told me about a horrible history of hard drugs, to an amount that sent him to the ER a couple of times because of overdose. He told me he used cocaine mostly, but also meth, e, etc. He also told me many times he only smoked, never shot up. I believed him and since he had been sober for about 7 years, I continued the relationship Unfortunately the drugs plus abuse when he was a child left a lot of scars behind. I tried to get over it, but I couldnt' I asked him several times to go to therapy to deal with the guilt, plus the anger from the abuse but he never followed through Well, now that we've broken up Ive been wondering if he had been 100% honest with me. Today in class we watched a movie about meth use and how people shot up. The video was about HIV and meth. Ofcourse that got me going, thinking...what if he lied, what if he did shot up, what if he wasn't completely off of drugs (given his odd behaviors, like paranoia etc) ....didn't help that the video emphasized how drug addicts lie. On top of that, say he didnt lie, say he was in recovery. He constantly told me that being with me gave him hope and he had wished he had never done any drugs. Im afraid that now that we are broken up what if he relapses? I wish I had been stronger, I wish I had been able to deal with his odd behavior and stuck by him. He had so much promise, he was so intelligent, so driven. I miss him like crazy but I know we would never work. I am a very anxious person, and his instability triggers my anxiety like crazy...I was getting sick with it. In any case, what do you guys think are the chances he lied to me? What are the chances that if he did lie, he put me in danger of contracting HIV? I know its a bit irrational, but I guess I would love some reassurance....
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