Pianoguy Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 Hey folks, just venting a little as I tend to my relationship wounds. It's been over a month since I talked to my ex-fiancé. Her stuff is completely gone from my apartment, contact info is deleted, Facebook account is blocked, and in my last email to her, I let her know that I put a filter in my email client to automatically delete messages from her so I'll stop waiting for her to have a change of heart (which worked, btw). I've been getting out of the house and meeting new people -- I've set a goal to meet at least one new person every day, preferably a cute girl! I've even gone on two dates, which led nowhere, but it was fun. Still, I'm really having trouble getting my ex out of my head. It really, really, felt like we were going to get married, and suddenly she was gone. I still can't process all of this, and I don't know what lesson I'm supposed to learn. I've been depressed and very lonely lately, but for some reason I found myself pining over my ex yesterday and really missing her, and for some reason, it's given me a sense of well-being that's really lifted my spirits. I had a strong urge to write her and tell her I love her, but what stopped me is that all signs point towards another guy. Plus, I know she's at least had one fling since our break-up, and that really sets me off. Still, I can't shake the feeling that things really shouldn't be this way. I'm going to stay strong and keep pushing forward alone, but I still can't get her out of my head and my heart. I really wish I knew the real reasons why she decided we weren't worth fighting for, but I may never know. I don't know how somebody can move on so suddenly after planning so much with them... But I guess infidelity is a powerful force.
Trovador Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 I still can't get her out of my head and my heart Please my friend considerethe power of words, even if it sounds ridiculous I can get her our of my head and my heart! Now, that´s better, isn't it? Soon you will be free, man... you'll be fine...
Author Pianoguy Posted October 17, 2010 Author Posted October 17, 2010 Well, I feel like I'm slowly going insane :-S And the depression is getting worse. Again, I'm out there, meeting new people, and of course the girls are all in relationships, but at least I'm checking some things out. I've been writing some music about her (I'm a pianist, if the name didn't give it away!), which has been strangely therapeutic, like taking my troubles and turning it into a positive force for inspiration, but it might be unhealthy in the long run. I've started having dreams about her, but not nightmares -- this morning, I dreamt we'd reconciled and we started traveling the world together like she's started doing this summer. She's started also appearing in my dreams as if nothing had happened, which it's a really odd sensation when I wake up. I feel like running away, but I'm not in a good financial situation anymore, and there's nowhere to go. I'd like to get therapy, but I can't afford it. My friends sympathize that she really f****d me over and I'm a great guy that didn't deserve this, but they think she did the right thing by breaking-up so she could travel, so that makes me feel pretty low. I'm exercising and working harder than ever, but things are getting worse. I'm not going to cross the line and communicate with her, but I'm still very much in shock and feel like I should be getting an email or letter from her any day now, which I know won't actually happen. My last vacation didn't help. I'm running out of ideas here... any help, guys?
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