alejandrocortez Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 (edited) OK i was involved with this girl at work who has a BF overseas. They've been together for 2 years. But me and her grew closer and we eventually exchanged #s and text each other everyday. Then one day she asks me to be her ride to work. On the 1st day I chauffeur her, work was canceled. So instead we hung out and star-gazed at the beach. We talked about our personal lives and found out we have so much in common(We could be soulmates?) and I asked if she loves her BF- she said she trusts him(Whatever that means). So 3 hours later I drop her home. I didnt kiss her or tell her I like her yet as I thought there would be more opportunities. But she missed the next day of work and was fired... 4 days went by and her phone was out of service, so I eventually stopped by her place to check on her. She was happy that I worried and she told me her phone is out of minutes. She started texting me again after I gave her some money 4 her phone. But it eventually ran out again. The last time I saw her was 2 weeks ago to pick up the money she owed me. I told her I didnt want it but she payed me back anyway. The problem was I was stoned when I met her last and I asked her to hangout with me and some friends. (she smokes weed too, so I dont think she cared) She said to call her. I never did...I tried calling her 3 days later but she wasnt home. I texted her 3 times, but IDK if she even gets them cuz her phones been out of service for 3 weeks now. I know why shes being hesitant I think she feels the way I do, but she fears falling for me because she's been with this guy for 2 years and he was her 1st. So i thought about it and I want to respect her and the relationship she's in, so I haven't contacted her. I tried to get over her and move on, but I just cant without at least telling her how i feel. I want to tell her I have these feelings, but I have no intention of coming between her and her BF.(is this a good idea?) I just have to get it off my chest because it'll bug me forever if I don't even tell a girl who might be my soulmate how I feel. I've already decided to call her today, 5-7 hours from now... I don't want to sound like a love-sick puppy, So I need some advice and opinions. Share any thoughts you guys have on my situation and don't sugarcoat anything. Edited October 8, 2010 by alejandrocortez
whichwayisup Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 I want to tell her I have these feelings, but I have no intention of coming between her and her BF.(is this a good idea?) Keep it light. IF you choose to tell her how you feel, don't go deep about it. "If you and your bf ever break up, I'll date you in a heartbeat!" Don't go expressing your feelings of love, or how she makes you feel. Not when she has a boyfriend, whom she loves and been with for 2 years. But, I am against telling her how you feel. It's not fair to her to put her in that spot, knowing full well she has a boyfriend.
Author alejandrocortez Posted October 8, 2010 Author Posted October 8, 2010 Your right it is messed up to put her in this position. But I already decided to tell her. Should I apologize to her for putting her in that position? Ok this is what Im gonna tell her -I like her, -ever since I first ran into her I knew I wanted her(its true) -Should I throw in a compliment like -I liked you since I 1st gazed into your pretty eyes- or is that too corny and forward? -I just met her too late(We've been around each other our whole lives-Went to same schools, live in same neighborhoods, ended up having our 1st jobs at same place) -I know she's in a relationship and as much as I like her I dont intend to come between her and her BF -I just had to get this off my chest because I couldn't live with myself if I never told her. -If she's happy and in love with her BF I can respect that and I'll back off What you think? Should I change anything? Or is it good
whichwayisup Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 I wouldn't tell her. But, since you have your mind made up just tell her that if she were free and single you would love to be with her. Leave it at that. Okay, she knows you "like" her, she's not stupid. Usually those feelings go both ways and because she does have a boyfriend, it just is best not to open that door. What if..Something happens between you two. And, she still keeps her boyfriend. Do you want to be the other guy? Don't be that guy.. Have self respect. Have respect for the fact she's in a 2 year relationship. I get that you want to come clean and get it off your chest, but the timing is so wrong. To just call someone and tell them how you feel .. is abit .. Uh, intentional? It's one thing to have it "oops" it popped out of my mouth because an opportunity came up in conversation, it's another to call her and let loose a bomb on her. What if she reacts badly? Tells you to F-OFF or is upset that you crossed the line with her knowin she has a boyfriend. Think..really think about this before you call her.
Author alejandrocortez Posted October 8, 2010 Author Posted October 8, 2010 I might never talk to her again. At this point I feel it's better to tell her and have her hate me for telling her, than never letting her know. I know it's a little selfish, but what if she jumps into my arms when I tell her. As unlikely as that might be it's better than never knowing. And I said I would tell her I have no intention of being "the other guy" I won't carry out a relationship while she's with him. I just want to tell her how I feel before we part ways. Or if she's unhappy with him, then I'll be there and be the guy to make her happy But I'm not going to wait for her to break up. It all ends or begins after this phone call.
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