Scared myself a bit

[Sonolumino]

Yesterday I was driving and trying to merge onto a highway at night. Me and this semi-truck were trying to get into the same lane, and I gassed it to get ahead of him. I started to merge, anticipating the speed that the car would give me to get ahead of him. Well something went wrong with the car and I didn't accelerate as much as I thought I would, and I was about 3-4 feet away from getting clipped by a semi going 75 miles per hour. I realized that I almost just could've been killed or horrifically maimed in a car accident, and I felt nothing. I thought "Eh, if it happens, it happens.". Then I got scared of that thought. I don't want to die, and I'm not suicidal at all. I never have been. But, that really got to me. I have literally become that numb to the world. I don't know what to do about it.

[jeff2321]

Be glad you aren't as far gone as me where you really don't give a damn if you die. Granted I'm not going to go out and hang my self with my own shoe laces, but if I were to die right now I wouldn't really much give two ****s.

 

Yup, I'm still a wreck. Be glad you aren't where I'm at

 

Jeff

[PegNosePete]

I've noticed my driving has gone a little crazier too. Nothing dangerous, but I seem to accelerate a lot faster and gas it round corners a lot more.

[Sonolumino]

Damn Jeff, I'm sorry man. I hope when this numbness hits you you'll welcome it, because I've been where you are right now before and it's utterly miserable. You feel like you're never going to be happy again. But like I said I've utterly become numb to everything, it's such a weird feeling. Good luck with your healing and coping, keep posting and keep your mind occupied as best you can. There are no answers at the bottom of the bottle.

[GoingInsane]

I had the exact same thing. I was driving a bit fast on a small road and almost lost control. I too thought "oh well, if it happens, so be it, if not, then that's okay too". Its scary.