This is way to hard, how do you do it?

[watshername]

I just can not even start to feel better. It's just over a month since we split. I was madly inlove, I still am. I know he loved me too. The last few months of our relationship were bad though. He'd been depressed for a few months due to family stuff and he also suffers with deep depression. He quit his job and started going out all the time. Staying out until 2am-5am one time. I was still working so I would go bed quite early which left him on his own which is why he went out all the time. I got a bit annoyed he was going out all the time, I couldnt understand it. I see now I wasn't being very supportive of how he was feelign the need to get out as he'd been in all day. I didn't realise how bad he was feeling. He finally admitted to me just how bad he was and that he thought about dying all the time. He said he loved me too much to ever do that, he felt frustrated. Things got a bit better after we had a big talk. We started going out together a lot more and I was happy and thought he was too. Then it started again, him going out all the time. Then out of the blue he split up with me. I was beyond devastated. But 3 days later he wanted me to come back and I was more than willing to start again even though I was very hurt. So about a week went by and things were ok again. Then he went out and stayed out all night, I know he didn't cheat, he just went mad (he was on anti depressants by now). He came back the following day seeing what it had done to me (absolutely hysterical as he never told me where her was or anything I didnt know what happened to him). He resolved to change. It didn't work. A week later he finished it again. This time for good. He says he hurts me too much, he needs to do his own thing (he wants to set up a business which means him going out quite a lot), he needs to sort himself out and he can not do that with me there with him. I can not handle this. I was willing to stick by him through thick and thin and now he just doesn't want to be with me. I don't know what to do. I just can't accept this, it's too hard. We always spoke about our future together. I thought we would definitely get married and have children without a doubt, and I trusted him with everything, every part of me. I never would have thought he'd do this to me. We speak almost everyday, I usualy ring him crying begging him to rethink. He tells me over and over his reasons, but I cant accept it. Why? How do you accept it? Please help

[thatsonlyme]

I feel your pain and I wish I could give some useful advice on how to get him back but the only thing you can do now is to let him go. Calling, crying and begging will not do any good, he'll just get too annoyed by you and cut off all contact.

I just went through a very hard breakup and now, a month and a half later I started feeling a little better. I'm not completely over her and it will probably take months or even years to get back to normal, but I came to realize that she was not the person worth my love.

Stay strong and try to move on. I know it's hard but that's the best option.

[Capthxc]

Sadly there is no miracle answer on what you can do to get over losing a loved one or how to win them back. Everyone is unqiue and the best you can do is learn from what has happened and apply it to future situations. I feel like i've gone through hell and back these past 4 weeks, it feels like this last month has bled into a year of pain. As much as i convince myself that im doing better i have my rollercoaster moments where i feel more down than i have when she split up with me. Trying to accept someone else taking my place in bringing happiness and love into her life has been the hardest thing for me to accept. The worst part in dealing with it is forgiving myself for being over protective and insecure. But i have learned that the only way you will ever get them to come back is to lose the desperation and to stop clinging to the past. If they want space than there is nothing you can do but give it to them with a smile on your face. I'm not saying you should rid yourself of the memories you shared together, but dont let it drag you down. We are all human, and we cant help the way we feel sometimes. The best way i have found to get myself through this anguish is by connecting more with my friends and family than ever before. I've also learned that connecting with people and giving advice on similar situations does a world of good for me. Just have to keep things positive and keep doing positive things. In the end it will make you feel like a better person and bring more of the unexpected into your life. After all, thats how i found the woman of my dreams. Through the most random and unexpected encounter ever.

[Ajax]

I was willing to stick by him through thick and thin and now he just doesn't want to be with me.

 

Our situations aren't exactly the same, but there are some similarities. My ex was also depresses and said she needed to figure herself out. And I told her I'd stick by her through the hard times, but she didn't want to.

 

I'm also having a really hard time. It hurts to have been so close to someone just to have them shut you out. I was doing better for a while, but lately it seems like I cry every night again.

 

I hope you're doing better.

[watshername]

Thanks, I appreciate all the advice. It helps to know there are people going through similar things. I feel better today, I'm always up and down though!

[thatsonlyme]

Thanks, I appreciate all the advice. It helps to know there are people going through similar things. I feel better today, I'm always up and down though!

 

We all have our ups and downs. I had a terrible night! I was thinking about her and I wanted her back so bad! I woke up in the middle of the night and felt totally disoriented, I though I was in our old place at first, then my reality hit me like a ton of bricks. I wish I could just talk to her about how I feel like I used to. I'm not going to do it of course and when I see her I want to look happy, but deep inside, I'm not.

No matter how stupid it is, I'm still hoping everything will be fine and we will work it out. I know it's not going to happen but I just can't get rid of this feeling. After all we're both alive so there is at least theoretical chance.

[SadGirl23]

I am going thru a similiar situation. As my advice wouldn't be any better or worse because I have no answers myself. The only thing helping me is LS forum. I know one poster above mention connecting with family and friends, but I don't really feel the desire to do that as I feel like I am just faking being happy with a smile when I am around my family and friends. But when I am on LS forum board, I don't have to smile, I don't have to fake being happy, I don't have act like I am dancing with joy, but I can be my real self and express my thoughts.

 

This shyt sucks so bad! It's a beautiful sunday afternoon. The weather is just right to be outside whether to go to the beach or eating at a restaurant, and yet I am alone at home hoping that one day I will be that girl walking down the street with a smile on her face with a real reason to be happy!

[Capthxc]

I am going thru a similiar situation. As my advice wouldn't be any better or worse because I have no answers myself. The only thing helping me is LS forum. I know one poster above mention connecting with family and friends, but I don't really feel the desire to do that as I feel like I am just faking being happy with a smile when I am around my family and friends. But when I am on LS forum board, I don't have to smile, I don't have to fake being happy, I don't have act like I am dancing with joy, but I can be my real self and express my thoughts.

 

This shyt sucks so bad! It's a beautiful sunday afternoon. The weather is just right to be outside whether to go to the beach or eating at a restaurant, and yet I am alone at home hoping that one day I will be that girl walking down the street with a smile on her face with a real reason to be happy!

Who says you have to fake anything around them? I nearly cut off all contact with my family and most of my friends for years prior to this relationship. One of our biggest issues was that i depended on her too much, told her i had nobody else to relate with. She told me to just open up to my family and i will probably see that there is more there than what i assumed, and she was right. I'm still a little shocked to learn that my brother, who was married for 12 years, is going through something very similar to me. You cant always assume its sunshine and rainbows with everyone else. Chances are that there are others out there willing to help you through the tough times, you just have to open up.

[AmySue]

Going throught similar here. XBF 14 years after stupid fight said its over and he is sticking through it. Problem is, I am still in the same house but in a different bedroom. Its been about 1 month now. And sucks.

 

For the first probably 3 weeks, all I did was cry. I had some startling realization that nothing I could do would bring him back to me. And it felt like a weight came off my shoulders and for the first time in 3 weeks, I didn't cry all day. Now, I have good days and bad days about the relationship and I know things will be better once I get out of this house and on my own.

 

But that's a whole nother story and I have other issues that I am tryig to deal with.

 

It does get easier. One day at a time. Hell, one minute if you have to. Start doing for you.

[Lovelydawn]

i wish i can say something to make you feel better but unfortunately i'm also going through the same thing right now and sometimes i still cant believe this is actually happening. so my heart really goes out to you. i feel your pain. your not alone=(

[skydiveaddict]

i feel your pain. your not alone=(

 

 

That's for sure