ASDFJKL Posted February 28, 2004 Posted February 28, 2004 This is a quick question. I have a boyfriend, and we have been together for a year. I've been playing the piano for the majority of my life. I've gotten very good at it. The weird thing is is my boyfriend DOES NOT want to hear me play. Whenever I start to and he's around he says, "Ahh, stop. Don't play the piano!" He never asks to hear me play and I think that most people would want to. Can anyone explain this?
Benedict Posted February 28, 2004 Posted February 28, 2004 ASD, I would be pretty concerned about this, if I were you. How long will it be before he asks you to stop entirely? Do you perform out of the home? That may be something he does not like, either. Have you asked him why he feels this way?
Author ASDFJKL Posted February 28, 2004 Author Posted February 28, 2004 I don't think this is a "red flag." It isn't like he goes crazy or anything if I don't stop. He just asks me not to play in a whiny voice. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND! I have tendonitis and he says the reason I should not play is because it's bad for my arms and he doesn't want to see that. But I highly doubt that is the reason.
Author ASDFJKL Posted February 28, 2004 Author Posted February 28, 2004 Yes, I do perform out of the home. I am the accompanist for the school choir. I seem to get a lot of attention for it. He could be jealous?
peaches1234 Posted February 28, 2004 Posted February 28, 2004 I don't know if it would be jealously. Perhaps you should ask him why he doesn't like it. Maybe he had parents that forced him to tack lessons or something and now he hates it? Just ask him why.
befuddled11 Posted February 28, 2004 Posted February 28, 2004 It is a big deal and it is a red flag. You are obviously very gifted at playing the piano, and this is one of your talents and obviously something that means a lot to you. His asking you to stop, regardless of the fact that he doesn't "freak out" when asking, is totally rude and insulting to you as a person, and as his girlfriend. It's like he's trying to shut you up and stifle you from doing something that makes up a part of you. That's wrong of him, and a definite concern. He should be proud to hear his girlfriend play and he should encourage you to play, and support you. How is he in other aspects of your relationship? Are there other things he asks you to "stop" or not do? Does he ever ask you to not wear certain clothes or hairstyles? Just wondering if he's starting out subtly as a control-freak.
faux Posted February 29, 2004 Posted February 29, 2004 Perhaps piano playing simply annoys him. My sister is always practicing playing her guitar or singing for choir. Both annoy me to no end as the events usually coincide when I would really like to have some peace and quiet. If someone were to ask me to listen to them sing, or try out a song that they were working on with any musical instrument I most likely would not be interested, simply because I have associated the situations with negative experiences. I still try to show an interest but I just don't get very involved with it. Everyone is different. I don't understand why you haven't asked him about his behavior. Perhaps you should.
Author ASDFJKL Posted February 29, 2004 Author Posted February 29, 2004 Hmm, he really doesn't try to make me stop doing ANYTHING else. Just that. He never asks to hear me play and I find that strange after we've been dating for a year. I don't make piano a big deal, I rarely talk about it ... and when I do I say my arms hurt because of tendonitis or that I dislike practicing. (?) He is anything but a control freak. A little jealous but nothing crazy.
Recommended Posts