seek Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 Well I am new to do this, but I have kinda reached the point where everyone in my life is tired of hearing me talk about my marriage problems. Well my husband is working in Afghanistan he emailed me in May saying that he is not sure what is going on but he feels like something is missing from his life. We have 2 kids and have been married 5 years. I am not going to lie and say we have always had the perfect marriage, but the only major problem has always been us fighting about him going out with his friends. I do not think I try to control him it is just that he would go out every fri and sat night if I did not complain. The way I see it is we are married have 2 kids we are grown ups we do not need to party all the time. Well I am a couple years older than him he is 28. I honestly believe he has never cheated he really just likes hanging with his friends. Well when he came home for his last vacation we fought several times because he wanted to go out and i thought he should stay home. I know I was kinda being selfish with his time but we only had 10 days together. Well anyways he said he is not talking divorce right now. I kept emailing him and would only get a response every week, and it was real brief. I sent him an email in July asking him if he wants a divorce because even though I want to make this work if he wants a divorce he needs to tell me so I can move oon with my life.Then in the begining of Aug. I stoped emailing him all the time, and gave him his space. All of a sudden he is calling and emailing me and acts like he nver even sent the email. I got excited and started emailing more again and now I feel like he is backing off again. I am almost 100% sure he has not met someone I know everyone says that, but hes travels base to base and never stays on 1 more than a couple days and He is not really the girl crazy type im only his 2nd gf ever. I think its about his freedom and me trying to put so many restictions on him. Not 1 of his friends is married and they all go out and I guess since he joined the Army at 18 never really got to expeiernce this lifestyle much. Now he talks about when he comes home us redoing the kitchen and makes comments like he thinks we should wait a few years to take the kids to disneyworld when they get older. so that makes me think there is a future but I just do not really know and I do not want to get my hopes up. I know I could ask him, but I would really rather not do it while he is iin afghanistan and have the talk when he comes home.When we talk on the phone usally every weekend now, he is real upbeat and we laugh a lot, and he always ends it with I love you. Sorry so long but like I said friends and family tell me its all I talk about and they are sick of hearing it. Do you think there is hope for our marriage working out. I now know that I need to stop restricting him. It is hard to deal with this him being on the other side of the world. I really think if he was here one way or another this would be resolved by now.
You Go Girl Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 Compromise. This is an easy one. Friday nights he takes his wife out on a date. Saturday nights he goes out with the boys. As long as the two of you have been apart, especially since he is in a life and death dangerous situation, I would think you two wouldn't sweat the small stuff!
Jamirulsaha Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Compromise. This is an easy one. Friday nights he takes his wife out on a date. Saturday nights he goes out with the boys. As long as the two of you have been apart, especially since he is in a life and death dangerous situation, I would think you two wouldn't sweat the small stuff! well said dude , i agree with you ...............................
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