suspended Posted February 28, 2004 Posted February 28, 2004 hi all, my best friend (gal) is best friends with my ex boyfriend..and i cant stand them together which is spoiling my relationship with my best friend...dont wanna lose her..how do i overcome the anger and rage when i see them together? (i know theyre not having an affair but my ex boyfriend told me he liked her ...after we broke up)
befuddled11 Posted February 28, 2004 Posted February 28, 2004 What were the circumstances surrounding your breakup with your ex. Was it a mutual decision to end things? Did he treat you badly? Did he dump you? If she's your best friend, one would assume she knew the circumstances surrounding the ending of that relationship...but without knowing how it ended, I can't really comment. Can you give more info?
suspended Posted February 28, 2004 Posted February 28, 2004 well, he actually got sick of me and he was cheating on me at the same time...i went through a terrible time when we were breaking up and my best friend knows of it...it was not a mutual decision..he just wanted to end things up...infact he never gave me a reason for breaking up until a yr later mayb...he continued to physically involve me and i was so blinded that i did watever he asked me too...i think i actually went through a post traumatic stress disorder but its slightly better since a yr has passed Watever happened between me and him is regardless of wat he does for her...they both value each other a lot and do a lot for each other...shes 3 yrs older to both of us but in the same class as us...by the way, all 3 of us are in med school. im sick of fighting with her over the issue when i know its not really my business watever she does with him...they both were friends even during my relationship with him but ofcourse me and him were friends even before that...anyway..wat to do?? this was just a quick snapshot
Captain Nemo Posted March 5, 2004 Posted March 5, 2004 You guys are in med school? Good lord. No offense but I thought you were in high school or just started college when I read your scenario. I think it's an understood rule that you don't date your friend's exes unless they are cool with it. The correct thing for your "friend" to have done would have been to approach you about her interest in your ex and ask how you feel. I get the feeling she may not be as much of a friend as you might think. My advice: get a new best friend.
heynow Posted April 6, 2004 Posted April 6, 2004 I HAD TO DO A DOULBE TAKE AND ASK MYSELF DID I POST THIS 2 MOS. AGO AND NOT REMEMBER???? ANYWAY-- EAGERLY AWAITING RESPONSES & HELP GUYS, THANKS!
heynow Posted April 6, 2004 Posted April 6, 2004 i am really mad because i typed a long edit to my first message but then i timed out & lost all the text. oh well. my first love and i got together 10 years ago and lived together for a year & a half. we broke up but continued to sleep together off & on for 6 years after that. during the 4th year of that f-buddy relationship, me, him, and my new best friend all started hanging out together. they had a lot in common, and were even going to start a business together. after a year or so he decided to hook her up w/his best friend. at that same exact time, i decided to kick him out of my life because of the dysfunctional f-buddy situation. and also he was a big time USER--always begging money and anything else he could get out of me--time, resources, etc. but him, her, and his best friend continued all hanging out. their friendship got stronger. their friendship eats at me like a cancer. i felt betrayed so long ago that she did not/could not end her friendship w/him at the same time i cut him off. her hands were tied due to her going with his best friend and the business they were going to start. but now, she's no longer w/the best friend and also the business never got off the ground. but they're still friends. the whole thing came to a head when she asked us both to come to Easter dinner. i declined politely, but she ended up getting an attitude because i even IMPLIED that her asking both of us was inappropriate! we've had the convo over & over that i prefer that she limit what she tells me about him & the things they do together. now how would she go from that to ask us to actually break bread all together?! NOT GONNA HAPPEN!!! so i got fed up and i have decided to never talk to her again. one major problem is that she is the type of person who will LASH OUT and call me all kinds of names if i even HINT that i am mad at her. so i know that she is an unhealthy person and it is probably for the best that she's cut out, but at the same time it is hard because we've been thru a lot together and have a bond. so that's my story!
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