MissWild Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 Do men ever see one of there attractive female friends as " a sister "? As you are aware from my previous thread, my fiance is away for work and before he left went to visit his mates interstate. This past saturday night he got together with a group of them including " a close female friend ". Well, since saturday night my fiance has been acting strange/not himself but insists there is nothing wrong and as this is his first time away from me that he is struggling with not having me around and misses me , etc. I don't see him as a man that would cheat but I don't know... Yesterday, the girl that he is good friends with (I have met her and she seems great) received some very expensive flowers. She had no idea where they came from as there was no card. Well, she found out who sent them today and says the person prefers to remain nameless, however since she has found out, she has been very short with me (as has he)… I have a gut feeling that he sent them to her, but I may be wrong. If I am right, what have they done together for him to have sent her flowers? I know I may seem crazy but I have had a past relationship where I was cheated on 4 times by the same man (too stupid to leave, I know) but I am worried that if he hasn't had any doings in this, that "curiosity killed the cat" so to speak! I asked him if he knew anything about the flowers being sent and he said no... He then continued to say it wasn't him, if that is what i am thinking as he does not have feelings for her like that and see's her as a sister... What do i do, am i thinking it was him when in fact he could be innocent? i am so messed up from my last relationship experience that i don't know if it is me acting crazy or he has something to hide.
Fouts Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 You're kidding, right? No man sees an attractive female as his "sister", unless they're his sister. There is ALWAYS the underlying sexual attraction and possibility for disaster.
PegNosePete Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 If he does find her attractive then he might convince himself that she is like a "sister", to make her unavailable to him.
Author MissWild Posted October 7, 2010 Author Posted October 7, 2010 You're kidding, right? No man sees an attractive female as his "sister", unless they're his sister. There is ALWAYS the underlying sexual attraction and possibility for disaster. No i am not kidding, he has said this to me on several occasions... Do you think he has sent the flowers to her?
Author MissWild Posted October 7, 2010 Author Posted October 7, 2010 If he does find her attractive then he might convince himself that she is like a "sister", to make her unavailable to him. If he finds her attractive then there is only a matter of time before he acts...
PegNosePete Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 If he finds her attractive then there is only a matter of time before he acts... A lot of men find a lot of women attractive. That attractiveness does not stop just because they're in a relationship. It's quite possible for a man to find a woman attractive, and not act. If it weren't then there wouldn't be any marriages longer than a month!! So what you've written is certainly not true of all men. Whether it's true of your guy or not... what are you basing this on? Does he have a history of cheating, lying, or lacking in willpower?
Fouts Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 No i am not kidding, he has said this to me on several occasions... Do you think he has sent the flowers to her? He is saying he looks at her like a sister, so that you won't be jealous or insecure when he's around her. Like Pete said, it doesn't mean we men act upon every sexual thought that crosses our mind, but we never look at a hot chick as a sister. I think your imagination is probably getting the best of you, but where there's smoke, there's usually fire. Keep your eyes open and don't be afraid to ask questions. And please don't think we look at good looking women as sisters
Author MissWild Posted October 7, 2010 Author Posted October 7, 2010 A lot of men find a lot of women attractive. That attractiveness does not stop just because they're in a relationship. It's quite possible for a man to find a woman attractive, and not act. If it weren't then there wouldn't be any marriages longer than a month!! So what you've written is certainly not true of all men. Whether it's true of your guy or not... what are you basing this on? Does he have a history of cheating, lying, or lacking in willpower? As far as i know he doesn't have a history of lying or cheating etc. I guess i am basing this on what has happened to me in my past relationship... I know it is wrong but i am so afraid of getting hurt that it is killing me. My fiance knows all about my past relationship as he was a friend at the time and actually caught my ex the 4th time... cheating.... I just want to be able to stop this jealousy and fear of getting cheated on again... but i don't know where to start as i always have a "what if" in the back of my mind. I know if i continue my behaviour that he will end up getting frustrated and leaving me, which is something i obviously don't want to happen...As I do love him dearly...
Author MissWild Posted October 7, 2010 Author Posted October 7, 2010 He is saying he looks at her like a sister, so that you won't be jealous or insecure when he's around her. Like Pete said, it doesn't mean we men act upon every sexual thought that crosses our mind, but we never look at a hot chick as a sister. I thought that myself... I have never heard any man say that they thought of some hot girl as their "sister"... but went along with it and trusted what he said... I agree my mind is getting the better of me as well, jumping to conclusions but because of my past with an ex it is granted... I know this sounds wrong but it i just how i feel and i am trying hard to change.. See with my ex, i never had closure or my say... He past away in a car accident and only found out he cheated on me several times after he had died.. I found out because there were several women still calling his phone and sending him msgs.. (he always was protective of his phone) I then was told about a facebook page he had which was under a different name but had all of his info and details including photo's and claimed he was single... He would come home sometimes smelling like a womans perfume but would deny being with a woman. At his time of death he was wearing a gold necklace that i had never seen before and no that he didn't purchase it and he was always broke ( he had a severe gambling problem) and when i packed up his things i found several letters/cards from women who claimed to be either his girlfriend or fiance... I then saw alot of emails on his computer of naked women as well as sexual chat and talk of meeting... I never got to yell at him or prove to him that he cheated on me so i guess i still carry around anger...
Bryanp Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 Do you think your boyfriend would buy this story if the roles were reversed and you had this amazingly hot man you hung out with and told him you see him only as a brother?
YellowShark Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 Ok. In your other thread your 'fiance' has an online porn addiction and wants to show men at work your xrated pics on his phone. He also wants you to have sex with another man so he can watch. In this thread the SAME GUY is now sending flowers to other women. Is this the man you really want to marry MissWild? Just askin'
InternationalPlayboy Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 It's possible. There are a few attractive female friends I have that I know for absolute certainty I would never ever ever ever be inclined to even consider messing around with, much like a sister. Although, when I first got to know these attractive female friends, that was not quite how I felt.
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