hardlover Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 (edited) I dont think that ive asperger, but im sure that my Emotional intelligence is pretty low which was showcased in my first real relationship. She loved me, but i dont think i ever did that, but i was rather obsessed about her, and saw her as mine, and would get very jelous if she were with other guys. That was not the main problem, as i didnt confront her about being with other guys. The problem was more that i would always try to get my way,for instance, even if she couldnt meet me up, i decided that we would meet, i could like talk about it for 15 min over the phone until she said yes, that i would come over for 5 min, but while there, i stayed for 30 min, which she hadnt time for. Im generally a very sensitive guy, and would get annoyed about small things, like that she isnt as interested as before,me pointing out all the time that she lost interest, and i would ask her if i were the only guy for her, until she got irritated. I would ask all the time when we would move togheter, and ask for sex all the time, and talking around her back with her friends, stalking her facebook history and mentioning things about her, and telling her that she lied about things etc. I think she put it very good, im a man who is very demanding to be around with. And at the time, i couldnt be cool and relax, i felt such an anxiety about everything, and had to talk about everything with her. I thing everything boils down to me having a low emotional intelligence, i would not think about things from her perspective and i was bad at controlling my own emotions, getting really anxious about everything However, i think ive greatly increased this ability, and im generally perceived as a man people respect, at work and with friends(which was not true before). And it also boils down to having bad self confidence to some extent. At the time with the girl, i understood this partly, but i did not have the greater insight ive today, and at the time i was in emotional turmoil, and even though if me rational said something, i could not follow through. I only click with girls who have an exceptional emotional intelligence, a girl who can put up and understand me. After 2 years, and like 20 girls, i think ive met someone like that now. And i can see how she likes me and how she thinks im a good guy, and i dont really want to let her down like i did with the first girl, i feel so bad about it, and im not sure if i would forgive myself. I want to care about her, i want her very best. want to bring her happiness, more than i want from her. What i want to do is to respect her, and i dont want to be someone who lessens her happiness in life. I hope i can make it this time, though only 2 years have gone, but i see myself as a completely changed man. EQ has improved in following ways: 1 i try to see things from other peoples perspectives, and try to reason how they feel or how they would feel, and try to respect their feelings, or formulate in accordance to how they feel. 2 i dont ask stupid questions, or ask what they think about my clothes or if this message was good that i sent, but im rather more condifent today in my own judgement, and because i know that this will be perceived as me being insecure to some extent. 3 im trying to be nice to my surroundings, as i know people appreciate it more, and that trying to push people down, will be perceived as being insecure. Im also trying to make feel people good, by saying nice things and encouraging them. This way i will be perceived as a good man, and if ive good body language, nice eye contact, they will feel inferiour at an unconcious level 4 im not blirting out private things, but have much more integrity. I know today that my price goes down whenever i tell private things, especiallity if it isnt appropriate considering how well we know each other. 5 better at controlling emotions etc i think everything boils down to increased eq. Edited October 7, 2010 by hardlover
Recommended Posts