dsd85 Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 (edited) Hi everyone, I'm battling with my emotions in regards to wether or not to give this guy another chance. We've known each other for a really long time, since middle school. 6 years ago, he started trying to keep back in touch with me and we tried having a relationship, it only lasted 2 weeks because he essentially backed out and we stopped talking after that pretty much, although still talking once in a blue moon because we have mutual friends. After that break up, it took me a very long time to get over it, now 6 years later, he wants to give it another shot. He says he's changed and realized the one he's been looking for has been here all along. Now I'm scared that he will back out as soon as i let my guard down. I like him a lot already and when we are together it feels so right, just really don't wanna get hurt, and he is known for going through 'phases.' Edited October 7, 2010 by dsd85
tina7563 Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 Wow 6 years is a long time for him to realise that you are the one. However 6 years is also a long time for someone to change. You are in a sticky situation. Personally i wouldn't take him back. I am a big believer of you broke up for a reason, so it should probably stay that way. If this guy is known for going through phases then that should also be a red alert. I would tell him that you are flattered but you would rather remain just friends, just see what he says. As i am only giving you an opinion, please also take into consideration that if you do take him back and he decides that he is over this phase....again just think of all those bad memories that you went through when it happened the first time, you really don't want history repeating itself.
Author dsd85 Posted October 9, 2010 Author Posted October 9, 2010 I forgot to mention a few important details about his life and what he has explained to me. He's in the army, has been for 5 years now. He spent 8 months in Afghanistan and 2 months in Haiti and during this time he says he has been able to reflect and figure out what he wants in life, not only when it comes to relationships but life overall. This is his explanation when I ask him about being in a phase, he assures me it's not a phase and says that he will wait as long as it takes for me to let my guard down and fully trust him and go into this without doubts (if i do decide to give him a chance) I don't know what I can ask him to know for sure if this is a pahse, I already asked him the obvious questions, why now? why me? why did it take so long? All his answers have seemd genuwine and honest. I'm just not sure if I can fully trust that. Any ideas of what else I can ask him to help determine his intentions?
FL Lady Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Read a couple of good books like Mars and Venus on a Date and Men are from Mars etc.. Another great book for both whites and blacks (all ethnicities) is Steve Harvey's Act Like a Lady think like a man. A++ on all 3 books. Basically I would consider re-pursuing it since it sounds like you want to. Do NOT , I repeat, Do NOT sleep with him early. Guard your heart and mind. And have fun while you're at it! Read the books, especially Harveys. Very realistic.
Yvette_Sveden Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 If nothing else looks promising, then I'll give it another shot. BUT if there is another break up, then forget about him for good. Fear of getting hurt is natural, even if it was another guy who you've been going out with for quite a while. If you try going out with someone else, you might think about the first guy, subconsciously turning him off. At least that's what I think. Yvette from Sweden
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