melody3p Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 i am 38yrs old ive been married for 12yrs. we have a daughter together and i have a 18yr old son. i just recently found out my husband had been sleeping with this woman while at work. he does service work for a tire company and he was stopping by her house in between calls to break him off a piece i guess. well according to her they had been seeing each other for 3yrs and he says they have known each other 3yrs he only slept with her for the first time a yr ago. he says they have only slept together twice. the first time he didnt know why it happened and this last time it was because he was afraid she was gona tell me everything. which she threatned to if he didnt come "visit" her. so he tells her that im pregnant to try and get her to go away... which he says that hes been trying to get rid of her since the first time they had sex but that she just wouldnt take the hint. well she sends me a txt asking me if im preg and if it was his because thats what he had told her...thats how i found out he had been seeing her. she said that i was getting in the way of their future together and that he wasnt happy with me and blah blah!! he says something totally different that he never planned a future with her and it was only sex! he says he loves me and only wants to be with me and that hes never gona do it again. thats what im having a hard time in believing can he really stop just like that? and the constant thoughts in my head every day,paranoid all the time that when hes at work hes doing it again. theres no trust. should i seek professional advice on this or do i just let it eat at me til somebody gets hurt? im drowning over here!
Feelin Frisky Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 Sure if getting profssional help is within you're reach, it certainly can't hurt and may be just what you need. If you really feel like you're being consumed by these unpleasant worries, don't continue to sit with it. Break yourself off a piece of peace.
Author melody3p Posted October 7, 2010 Author Posted October 7, 2010 how did she get your cell number? how she got my number goes back a couple months thats when i found her number in his work phone and txted her to confront her.
redmelon Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 I think you should remove yourself entirely from this trashy situation. Your husband's excuses are lousy.
Spark1111 Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 i am 38yrs old ive been married for 12yrs. we have a daughter together and i have a 18yr old son. i just recently found out my husband had been sleeping with this woman while at work. he does service work for a tire company and he was stopping by her house in between calls to break him off a piece i guess. well according to her they had been seeing each other for 3yrs and he says they have known each other 3yrs he only slept with her for the first time a yr ago. he says they have only slept together twice. the first time he didnt know why it happened and this last time it was because he was afraid she was gona tell me everything. which she threatned to if he didnt come "visit" her. so he tells her that im pregnant to try and get her to go away... which he says that hes been trying to get rid of her since the first time they had sex but that she just wouldnt take the hint. well she sends me a txt asking me if im preg and if it was his because thats what he had told her...thats how i found out he had been seeing her. she said that i was getting in the way of their future together and that he wasnt happy with me and blah blah!! he says something totally different that he never planned a future with her and it was only sex! he says he loves me and only wants to be with me and that hes never gona do it again. thats what im having a hard time in believing can he really stop just like that? and the constant thoughts in my head every day,paranoid all the time that when hes at work hes doing it again. theres no trust. should i seek professional advice on this or do i just let it eat at me til somebody gets hurt? im drowning over here! Melody, these are obviously two very different versions of the same story you are being told, so either the truth lies somewhere in the middle or/AND someone is lying to you. What do you think? Yes, I think both you and your husband should seek professional help. A three year relationship (according to her) and they only had sex twice(according to him)? What does your gut tell you? Do you love him? Do you want to try to repair your marriage? If yes, then he has to regain your trust. He has to do all the heavy lifting. He has to stop seeing, talking, having any contact whatsoever with his AP, and HE HAS TO PROVE IT TO YOU, everyday, for as long as it takes. That means giving you complete access to all of his cell phone records, email passwords, everything. He has to be totally transparent about all his actions at all times and he has to be truly remorseful he has hurt and betrayed you, not just sorry he got caught. And he starts by telling you the truth of everything, not a white washed version so you can make an informed decision regarding your future --with or without him. Plus, you need to know the scope of what you are being asked to forgive. This takes tremendous courage on both your parts to survive. Please avail yourself of all the great info out there. Read, write here, talk, talk talk to trusted family or friends. I am so sorry you are going through this.
What_Next Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 I'll be blunt, leave him. Unless he follows EVERYTHING spark1111 posted get out of this situation NOW. Trust me. If you decide to reconcile and move forward be prepared for the toughest journey you will ever go through.
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