Ultiman Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 About a year ago I posted here about my first breakup with K. For the most part I was at fault and made plenty of mistakes to destroy her trust in me. The breakup was tough, my first lost love ever. With time though and eventual NC i was beginning to move on. 4 months later K and I begin speaking again, eventually we get back together. The following 3 months were some of the best times ive had, things were looking great. K got accepted to a certain university in another city, the plan was for her to move up for fall semester and me to join her up there in the spring. come fall semester K moves up and is having a tough time transitioning and making friends. She begs me to move up now instead of in the spring. At first I was reluctant, I had a good job. I visit K for the weekend and find a job in her college town and a cheap place to live, So i move. Its been ten days since ive moved and now she decides to tell me that she doesnt love me anymore and hasnt loved me for almost 3 years. I think the worst part is that I knew all along, I could tell by how she kissed me, how she always rolled her eyes when I wanted to get intimate with her, how the sex had gotten more and more infrequent, how she couldnt look me in the eyes when she said I love you back. I knew but i trusted her so much that i believed her everytime I asked her if everything was alright and she said yes. She took the most important thing a man can have away from me, my ability to trust in myself.
Billie The Puppet Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 I just don't get why all the stringing along and it seems to be more often with women. If you fall out of love don't hang on thinking it could change. If you do at least discuss it, yes there are red flags but sometimes we don't notice until it's too late. Where the hell is the communication nowadays. Now to top it off she tells you for the last 3 years it wasn't love so she is fessing up to stringing you along. However why insist you move to be with her "just to be a friend". Seems to me men just end it and women string along. You definitely didn't deserve that.
Author Ultiman Posted October 7, 2010 Author Posted October 7, 2010 Yes and now im in some random city with no one that i know or trust. She begged me to move here and then abandoned me here. I sold my car, quit my job back home. Im pissed so pissed, last time we broke up I cried like a baby, but this time there are no tears just the taste of rage in my mouth.
Sambo Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 Your young ! You have your whole life ahead of you. I know this sucks but you'll be fine. You got knocked off the horse and your in a strange land, so what are you going to do about it? Pick yourself up and get back to your life.
Trovador Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 At least she will have something to feel bad about in her life, that is if she isn't a pure heartless *****... but actually, without all those aggravations, it's the same case as most of us... they say out of nothing that they don't love us anymore (if they did ever)... once, a gf invited me to dinner because it was my birthday and guess what... she broke with me, and I paid dinner ha ha... Well, bro, sorry for the pun but you are broken now, it's time to show yourself and the world that you are a champ not a chimp... rise from your ashes and you will do better next time!
Ajax Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 once, a gf invited me to dinner because it was my birthday and guess what... she broke with me, and I paid dinner ha ha... Seriously? Now that's low.That's like intentionally effing you up.
Trovador Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 Worst thing is that I got back home, sad, angry and frustrated (she had said that it was going to be a special night), but it was until I was there that it dawned on me what she really had done... I texted immediately saying that that was the best gift I had ever received... Ah, she didn't bothered herself buying me a birthday present... she answered my text saying "sorry for not paying dinner"... But all that xrap made easier to get away from her...
Fouts Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 I feel for you Ultiman, but it's good you shared your story here. Maybe some will learn a valuable lesson about moving on. Once the initial love is lost on one or both parts, there's no going back. It WILL end eventually, even worse than the first time.
isitreal Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 That happened to me too, don't worry about it. Back in the day, I had a university girlfriend. One day she just didn't want to kiss me, and blamed it on a cold. After that we were finished You can usually feel when something's up even though most women will always give you the "I'm fine" routine. The best thing to do for future reference is to pressure a little more if you get that feeling and/or if that doesn't work, completely ignore her for a couple days and let her sort it out herself if she doesn't want to open up. Just say you were busy if she asks why you guys aren't talking, some things she just wants to figure out for herself, and you being there rarely helps.
broken19 Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 I hope all girls are not like this...it does sound very mean of your ex. I am a woman myself and could never hurt anyone let alone the guy I love. Once you find that someone life becomes so liveable, so beautiful. It's almost like one wants to be unhappy and so ruin their wonderful relatioship. It is sad to hear that but guess it depends on the individual. What hurts more is that when my ex said that I have been nothing but nice to him but he does not want this relationship as he gets feelings in his head which are not right. Why do women like us end up with guys like that and guys like you end up with women like that who just makes use of you? It is indeed a mystery! Don't try to understand her. Just know that there are strange people like that out there. Just move on. Easier said than done but remember not to lose trust in yourself...never let someone do that to you as you are a person too. Let her figure herself out. You look after yourself.
Capthxc Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 once, a gf invited me to dinner because it was my birthday and guess what... she broke with me, and I paid dinner ha ha... Ouch, thats pretty low. I had an ex tell me the only reason she stayed with me for 4 years was because of the connections i had and the people i knew, and that the love was never there, that every time she said it, it was only to appease me so id continue to spend money on her and give her a place to live. When i got mad about it i said some pretty mean things towards her, and she ended up taking pictures of her cheating on me and e-mailing them to me the next day in her break up letter. Some women are just born cold hearted, but we have to learn that there are quite a few out there who arent. It's a shame i learned my lesson when it was too late.
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