cucumbernub Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 It's funny how your mind tells you to move on yet your heart is the only obstacle in the way. To cut a long story short, my ex broke up with me in July after what was a mostly perfect year long relationship. Another guy (a mutual friend, what a scumbag) had come in between us and we had had a lot of arguements before the actual break up. I got dumped, she got together with the guy and told me she had lost her feelings for me. I was skeptical, because she was someone who told me that her love for me grew day by day and that she can envision the both of us together in the future. I went NC for the duration of August except for when I broke it a few times, asking her about the new dude and trying to get closure for myself. This made her angry because I had to 'accept that we have broken up and I don't need anymore closure'. NC ensued and fast forward to just a week ago, when she broke NC and called me crying. She basically admitted she made a stupid and hasty mistake and whatever issues we had she should have stayed on and worked on them with me, rather than jumping ship. But she's made her decision, hence she has to stick with it, and by this, I assume, she's sticking by the other guy. It didn't help that we are now on opposite sides of the globe. She apologised for hurting me and wanted me to know that our relationship was not a lie and that the fault in our relationship was due to her taking me for granted. What surprised me was that she told me that she doesn't believe in love anymore and if our paths do cross in the future, she isn't deserving of my love. This, to me, reeks of immaturity and low self esteem. Our conversation ended on a semi-friendly note and since then I have been having cycles of wanting her back and not. I know that the correct thing to do is to forget about her and move on and work on myself. I have done all that, I work out, I'm one year from becoming a doctor, I've been taking up salsa classes and playing sports. But there's still this thought at the back of my head, telling me that she may come back to me after more time has passed. It makes me sad, but I'm not letting it affect my daily routine. I just don't really know what to do now. I've been in NC since the last time we talked and I don't really plan to break it since she DOES have a boyfriend, even though he was the wedge in our relationship. My mind tells me to let go, and my heart wants me to hold on. I'm finding the constant internal turmoil really draining at times and I WAS getting better until she broke NC. I wish things perk up soon. I cannot stand this uncertainity.
fabio10 Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 Hey bro, Im sorry to hear what that heartless bitch did to you my god going rebound with a mutual friend she has no heart and if she does it is made of stone. This lady is not the one for you, I know your heart must have skipped 50 beats when she broke NC but come on you cannot forgive her for this please respect yourself. You are obivously a smart guy when you are about to become a doctor so use your brain to outweigh the emotions from your heart ! Dont let her get to you again look at how you are feeling now....! Was it worth that glimmer of contact now that you feel like this ? I'am in NC myself she is trying to contact me but hell it is time to say NO and you must say NO too, even if this girl begged for you back I would advise dont ever give her a chance again, don't you deserve better? You can get through this have a great career and a great life, its up to you man !!!!!
Ultiman Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 The heart doesnt exist, Your mind becomes chemically dependent on your lover. It is the SAME as drug addiction. The only cure is NC, but during that process your mind will CRAVE that person some days worse than others. It will rationalize, speak, bitch, cry, complain to u over and over again that u need to speak to this person just one more time, that you need just one more hit. Its all one big drug...
Author cucumbernub Posted October 7, 2010 Author Posted October 7, 2010 I have been feeling great about myself up until she broke NC. Thinking she was just a cold, heartless person was better than her apologising and showing remorse. I don't even know if it was worth the pain I'm going through now.
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