Gt.ooh Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 (edited) Hi there, Here is my situation much like a lot of other guys on here. Just looking for a lot of good opinions. Hi, My girlfriend of one year just broke up with me. It started out as just a break, then as I pushed she said break-up, and just want to be friends.... I've gone crazy and done all the "wrong" things..Txt msging, talking to her friend on facebook. It started out really good, we got along so well, we were inseparable. Then recently I began to see a change. "I want a break." I didn't accept it, and pressured her into the whys and what can I do to fix it? Her mind was made up.. It's really complicated for me because I couldn't just pick up and go. I had to move to the other side of the country to my original home, (she is going to school and therefore we couldn't stand being apart, so I moved to where she was going to school). So I did the typical beg and pleading, (after leaving for home). She got to a point and I backed off, to let her be. My mind was racing and I couldn't help myself and I msged her friend on facebook after 2 days of leaving her be(no conact with her at all), to see what she's said to her. It was a short msg i meant no harm just wanted to hear it from someone elses' side; "she said there's no chance of you getting back together." (she never once said that directly to me)....She's also said "it wasn't meant to be, based on a "gut" feeling, I don't know how to explain it". -->What does that even mean, sure people have differences but you work through it... Her friend told her I msged her, next thing I know her facebook is deleted, and her phone number is changed. Since then (6 days now) I've backed off completely. I sent one email saying I slipped up, and that I was wrong and left it. I fought so hard to change her mind because I didn't want to just leave, as much as I wish I could have if she was going to a school in the same province as we're from. Since we started dating we were none stop txting, and getting together. When it came to space and me not giving it to her I pushed her buttons. We had a lot of good times and I know I she still loves me, she told me just before I left. It seems she's just been focusing on all the bad of the now break-up, and not seeing through how hard it was for me to move to the other side of the country.. Of course I'm going to plead, I gave up my job to be with her. Now the question, since I have never given her more than 6 days space is it to late for me? Am I dead in the water? I'm hoping someone out there can help me. I've told myself that I will not bug her. I meant no harm in the msg to her friend, and by no means did I want a number change... I think she overreacted by changing her number and deleting facebook. I've never threatened her or said anything rude, or for that matter done anything really concrete for a number change or on her facebook. I mean from what I've read online everyone goes through the pages of txting back and forth...nothing new. I just bought a bunch of furniture for a condo we moved into and we have a joint account. I could easily take money out of the account in lou of the furniture i bought but I'm not like that. I'm just trying to understand completely that there's a lot worse things than msging a friend on facebook.. There's so much back and forth on being friends and not being friends, no contact, etc. I just want an opinion on my situation. I know it seems all hope is gone, and most ppl are going to read this and be like get real man..;however, like I said sure I txt msged, never called though, sent one msg on facebook. I can still email her, she hasn't given me the new number and I don't expect it for a while anyways, not the end of the world when its a space situation. She is two years younger than me (I'm 23). Is lack of maturity a factor here to? You should have seen her ex-bf before me, she got a restraining order against him and changed number etc. I'm not even close to that...opinions?? I'm trying hard to move on, show strength, and confidence. It's been a real struggle, since I'm jobless now. All I do is sit at home waiting for a job, and think about the break-up constantly and how much I regret just leaving her be. Edited October 6, 2010 by Gt.ooh
alliance_820 Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 I know all about the "gut feeling" talk. My girlfriend said the same thing to me when we broke up. If you think she still loves you or still has feelings for you, give it time. Thats what I'm doing. It seemed pretty obvious that she still had feelings for me when we broke up, so its just about somehow making her realize this. From what Ive been told by multiple people, absolutely no contact is best. If you keep begging for her to come back, it makes you look weak. You cant change the contacting youve already done, so start now. No contact. Give her something to miss. If she does still have feelings for you, she'll realize it when you arent always there available to her. If you read on here, this has worked for many people, so give it a shot. Best of luck to you.
Billie The Puppet Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 I know all about the "gut feeling" talk. My girlfriend said the same thing to me when we broke up. If you think she still loves you or still has feelings for you, give it time. Thats what I'm doing. It seemed pretty obvious that she still had feelings for me when we broke up, so its just about somehow making her realize this. From what Ive been told by multiple people, absolutely no contact is best. If you keep begging for her to come back, it makes you look weak. You cant change the contacting youve already done, so start now. No contact. Give her something to miss. If she does still have feelings for you, she'll realize it when you arent always there available to her. If you read on here, this has worked for many people, so give it a shot. Best of luck to you. I think you are misinterpreting how NC has worked for many people here. I don't think it works in the sense of getting ex's back more so in the sense of healing.
Cuchara2 Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 NC gives you hope until you don't give a **** any more. Put it this way - The two outcomes are: a) You don't talk to her, you get the power, she misses you and comes back to you. You end up happy. b) You don't talk to her, she doesn't talk to you. Your feelings die down, you don't give a **** any more, you find someone else. You end up happy. Win win situation.
Banega100 Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 nope, she doesn't love you dude. That's just your ego talking, and possibly also her trying to break up with you in a more gentle way. It's gonna get better though man.
Author Gt.ooh Posted October 6, 2010 Author Posted October 6, 2010 NC gives you hope until you don't give a **** any more. Put it this way - The two outcomes are: a) You don't talk to her, you get the power, she misses you and comes back to you. You end up happy. b) You don't talk to her, she doesn't talk to you. Your feelings die down, you don't give a **** any more, you find someone else. You end up happy. Win win situation. Well that's quite the way to look at it forsure. Win win, good advice. I like it lol. Keep em coming guys I will say that it got more rough as i bugged her...I'm on day 6 and counting.
Author Gt.ooh Posted October 6, 2010 Author Posted October 6, 2010 LOL, well the not loving me thing can't say one way or another. NC will be the tell tale. She comes out in a month I know for a break from school and she'll be visiting her family...she said before that she'd meet me for coffee... I'm not going to intiate that...but if she does contact me, do I go?
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