donnamaybe Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 I really enjoy your posts (In general, actually, not just this topic) in this topic. I'm only 5'7", and have been rejected a few times due to height, with the woman actually bringing this factor up--stating "It makes her feel like a sister instead of a girlfriend" on one occasion, and "I just feel uncomfortable with someone who isn't really tall", even though she thought my other features were "amazing and better than anyone she's ever dated", and she was 5'1" at the most. These two women in particular were really nice women, too; women that I could never look at with bitterness. It's just, they didn't have enough patience to look past my height, and I simply took a loss there, because I really liked them. It just hurts to be rejected in any form, let alone based on your height; something outta your control, but that's the way the cookie crumbles sometimes. But yeah, it'd be foolish to believe all women should be grouped into the same category because of a few experiences and some stupid article online. Your intentions are very good.Aww, that's so sweet of you to say! I like that you didn't get all bitter toward these women and, in fact, commend their positive attributes. That speaks well of your emotional health and your sense of self. And that, my friend, is attractive to women! I can understand a guy having certain feelings toward a woman who would put him down over a shallow issue such as height, but merely having a preference isn't a put down, really. And there are LOTS of women out there! Putting on a bad attitude about something over which a guy has no control is NOT going to further his cause.
donnamaybe Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 I've accepted it and at the age of 21 I have realized that I'm done with women, 21?!!!! You haven't even had TIME to try to find a gal and get disillusioned yet!!! OMG!
Disillusioned Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 Well ladies we're damned if we do, and damned if we don't. Pick a guy with financial stability and you're a gold digger, pick a guy whose taller than you or of the same height and you're shallow. Pick a guy who has great looks and you're superficial. The list goes on and on. Pick a guy who's just been paroled and you're American.
Disillusioned Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 21?!!!! You haven't even had TIME to try to find a gal and get disillusioned yet!!! OMG! OTOH I was disillusioned at 12. Hey, wait a minute---I AM Disillusioned!!!
D-Jam Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 Well, if you Google Laura Gottliebs "when is it okay to settle for Mr Good enough", in her book there was a survey done, where....when they were asked about what was it about the other person that they would not go on a 2nd date with a person Men named 3 things, the women named 300 things/reasons they wouldn't go out with the guy again. So it's really about being picky about things that DO matter in a meaningful relationship, as oppose to what does NOT matter. (ie - height) Heck the author, at one time wouldn't date a guy because his name was "Sheldon" lol Right...but my point is more then if you see the women are coming up with the 300 reasons not to date you or other guys you know...WHAT DO YOU DO THEN? a) Complain and keep trying to hope that one day they'll all "get it"? b) Look and see how many of those 300 things you can remedy and thus increase your chances of success? c) FIGURATIVELY flip the bird at women in generality and simply find a way/means to be happy in life alone? I love what Gottleib got into and even spoke to her personally on it all...but even she realizes that it's hard to get her own gender to rethink things. Not unless an actual day comes where women look left and right and suddenly find their only choices are "Mr Good Enough", "Mr Big", or alone. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- One other thing I want to toss out to the guys who feel their height is an issue. How much of the "issue" has it shown more on online dating? I feel like in the regular world, even shorter guys who are physically and/or financially attractive can still pick up women, even taller ones. Even shorter guys with decent looks and good "game" or personality can get the chicks. So I'm getting the idea that it's in the ONLINE DATING realm that the short guys lose out. In my eyes I probably see it that women tack up what they want in a guy and hope for the best...even if the "ideal men" are nowhere on the site and thus they have loads of Joe Averages to choose from. I still stand by my feelings that if a man makes himself into what women want in many arenas...then height won't be the issue for most women. The few women who are dead-set on tall, handsome, wealthy, and exciting...they're the ones who get older and older and still can't find such a specimen. Or they do, but all he wants is sex and nothing more. Put your height aside and really look at yourself objectively. What else do you see about yourself that you think turns women off?
sweetjasmine Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 Actually, no - not of the women I know. I have never heard any of my female friends or family members, in all my years, make a distinction about a man being preferable over another because of height. Same for me, too. And I actually prefer "short" men. Although I won't rule out a tall man because of his height, it's less comfortable. I like being able to kiss a man without having to step up onto a chair to get close.
brainygirl Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 Ok. I'm a 5'2" SHORT woman and recently started online dating... I don't know if men are lying on there to make themselves more attractive, because they all seem to be over 6'. I've been chatting to a guy and we're getting on really well, but according to his profile he's 6'2" and for that reason I'm really doubt I'll be physically attracted to him if/when we meet. I have been out with guys that tall and to me it's a turn-off, to be honest. What's so great about having to crane your neck, never being able to look your guy in the eyes unless he stoops down? What's more, even simple things like putting our arms around each other - so awkward! And who wants to have their face next to their SO's belly button when standing up? My best, closest and physically most satisfying relationship was with a guy who was 5'6", which to me is the ideal height for a guy - he's taller that me, but we still fitted together like tow pieces of a puzzle! One of my closest male friends at the moment is over 6' and I sometimes avoid giving him a hug just because it's such an awkward excersise for both of us - him having to stoop down, me having to stand on tiptoe... Nope, definitely prefer a well-proportioned shorter guy! Its always a turn off when you realize they've lied about how tall they are. I met a guy on OKcupid who said he was five eight, but we are actually the same height. It wasn't his height that bugged me, but the fact he lied about it.
FryFish Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 It wasn't his height that bugged me, but the fact he lied about it.But had he told the truth about it you wouldnt have met him...
brainygirl Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 But had he told the truth about it you wouldnt have met him... Uhm, yes I would have. He was cute in his pictures and sweet and articulate when we exchanged emails. Then I met him, found out he's lied about his height, and been deceptive about his background. I decided not to see him again because of the dishonesty.
florence of suburbia Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 I am 21 and done with women Hahahahahaahaha You're still green and sour. I'd leave you to ripen on the vine for two more years at least.
Sweetie1977 Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 For most women short is a unattratcive trait on a Man isntead of whining about it work on traits you do actually have that are attractive
irc333 Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 So I'm getting the idea that it's in the ONLINE DATING realm that the short guys lose out. Definately agreed, I think short men stand a better chance in person with a woman. Online, forget it, a short guy has little chance....why? Because she HAS to use ht. as a weeding out process out of ALL the 100's of emails she gets, otherwise...she'd take forever. Yes, google Gottleib, people....she provides a lot content that makes sense bout even her own gender.
FryFish Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 Uhm, yes I would have. He was cute in his pictures and sweet and articulate when we exchanged emails. How many guys that stated they are actually the height of the guy who lied about it have you actually met with?
threebyfate Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 Yes, many women prefer tall men including myself, where the word "tall" is subjective. The more I read about online dating, the more I think it's got to be the worst invention to have happened in the dating world. Or maybe it's like anything else, it's not the tool that's terrible but the people behind the tool. Get out into the real world and meet someone that way, rather than catalogue shopping.
brainygirl Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 How many guys that stated they are actually the height of the guy who lied about it have you actually met with? I've met with a grand total of six men from online dating in real life. One lied about his appearance by using ten year old pictures - didn't go on anymore dates. One (previously mentioned) lied about his nationality and height - didn't go on anymore dates. One was honest about his physic and nationality, but seemed like an over grown blow-hard - no more dates. One was very vague about his appearance and turned out to be taller than I am, with sparkly eyes and a receding hair line - still seeing him on and off because neither of us knows what we are doing. One was just plain creepy once I met him in person. So, who was shortest? I'm not sure, they range from a little taller than I am (5'2") to quite tall (6'5").
TouchedByViolet Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 Yes, many women prefer tall men including myself, where the word "tall" is subjective. The more I read about online dating, the more I think it's got to be the worst invention to have happened in the dating world. Or maybe it's like anything else, it's not the tool that's terrible but the people behind the tool. Get out into the real world and meet someone that way, rather than catalogue shopping. Wow... an intelligent, mature and helpful post. Thanks TBF
FryFish Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 I've met with a grand total of six men from online dating in real life. One lied about his appearance by using ten year old pictures - didn't go on anymore dates. One (previously mentioned) lied about his nationality and height - didn't go on anymore dates. One was honest about his physic and nationality, but seemed like an over grown blow-hard - no more dates. One was very vague about his appearance and turned out to be taller than I am, with sparkly eyes and a receding hair line - still seeing him on and off because neither of us knows what we are doing. One was just plain creepy once I met him in person. So, who was shortest? I'm not sure, they range from a little taller than I am (5'2") to quite tall (6'5"). It took you a lot of words to not answer my question... So how many men have you met that have STATED their height to be what this guys actual height was?
brainygirl Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 It took you a lot of words to not answer my question... So how many men have you met that have STATED their height to be what this guys actual height was? I'm guessing his actual height was five five . . . a little taller than I am. But I don't know what they stated their heights to be BECAUSE I NEVER LOOKED AT THE HEIGHT PLACE. I used POF and OKcupid, both are more focused on the written profiles than physical characteristics.
FryFish Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 Didnt you say he lied about his height? How could you know if you didnt check?
Disillusioned Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 But had he told the truth about it you wouldnt have met him... Dunno about that... I suck at lying but women dislike me across the board anyways.
that girl Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 I'm 5'9" and a girl. I'm sure there are some guys out there who wouldn't consider dating me based on that fact. But so what? I'm sure there are guys who wouldn't want to date me because of my hair color, skin color, what I do for a living, etc. People make all kinds of decisions about who they want to date and you can't control something like height. Some women will turn a guy down based on his height, but a lot won't. Think of it this way, if you're a short guy odds are your dad is on the short side too and he still managed to get laid often enough to produce you. One thing I will say is that a shorter guy shouldn't assume that a short is his only option. Lots of women have no problem dating a guy their height or shorter. Now if you just prefer short women, go for that, but don't assume. If you're online dating, I get why you would lie about your height. But if you lie by more than an inch, odds are very good that she will notice and now you've proven you're a liar. I don't think it is a huge deal if a 5'6" guy puts 5'7" as his height, but if that guy puts 5'9" he is shooting himself in the foot. I have noticed that the girls who are most obsessed about dating a guy over 6' are tiny, which means they aren't great judges of height. More than once I've been introduced to a 5' girl's 6'2" boyfriend who is obviously 5'10".
brainygirl Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 Didnt you say he lied about his height? How could you know if you didnt check? I always go back and double check what they've told me online against what they said in person. I consider lying, even about benign things to be a HUGE red flag. And yeah, he was SIGNIFICANTLY shorter than he said he was. That alone MAY not have been enough to make me rule him out, but the fact eh told me he was from KAnsas City when in fact he was born and raised in India certainly pushed things to the "NEXT" .
counterman Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 If a girl does reject a guy because of his height, then that's fine. There are plenty of other girls out there, many of whom would not care so much about it. It's a natural filtering process and it means you don't bother with her anymore. Why would you care what strangers thing, let alone other people? Many guys do blame their height for their lack of success with women. It is very easy to do that. However, this hinders the progression of self-improvement and is very bad for mental health. I have friends who are fairly short, and they have had no problems with girls. Their personalities and the way they carry themselves is actually better than any taller guy I've met. Hell, one of my friends has even dated girls taller than him. And, I have other friends who blame their height and submit to what they think people think of them. They do not have the confidence to ask girls out and hence have been dateless forever. I agree, it is better to meet people in the real world, rather than online dating. Every person is the way he/she is. Everyone has some sough of short-coming. Height may not be one for taller men but they do have other things to work on. Just like everyone else.
bac Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 I do not think that the taller a guy, the better for him. I guess to have average/normal height is the best. It is good when a man is not shorter than a woman. But, it is even better when a man does not constantly complain about his disadvantage of short height. In fact, they do complain about it even while cuddling after O. To me, a man, 6.4 or more is not very attractive because he is too tall/big, especially, if he has extra-pounds. It does not feel comfortable for me if a guy is too tall/big. BTW the size of the penis is the same for any height.
Tiberius Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 There are exceptions though. I am 5 8 and my gf is 6 2.
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