irc333 Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 That's only a minority of women and a 6'0" woman is the equivalent of a 6'6" guy. Very rare. I'm 6'2" in shoes, so the only a woman would be taller than me in heels if she's over 5'11". Believe it or not, there's a woman in my area rather local to me, been on POF for a long time now....6'3" (yes a woman) pretty danged good looking too. I wonder if she HAS to settle for someone shorter, because even YOU are short,....to her. I bet you a million bucks she'd datea 6'2 (your height) M.M.
D-Jam Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Oh goody...another height topic. So let's come down to reality here...height to women is like how men look at weight, although I'm sure a 6'2" guy weighing 300 pounds won't fare very well either. MeganDoll brings up one point that in generality does make sense and aligns on what I tell men and women all the time: Having standards is only good if you can attain mates who have said standards. Every short guy can complain to death about how women reject them, but I also agree with some of the opinions that when you combine short with whiny, it becomes a bigger red flag. Here's a guy's perspective of it...imagine you meet a woman who's pushing 250 lbs, has a few kids but was never married, can't hold a job, no education, and can't financially take care of herself. Should guys just "give her a chance" the way guys want women to give them a chance? There are some women who use height as the be-all-end-all, and they will reject even the most handsome of men if they are short. That is SOME though. Most women who reject based on height I notice only saw the height as "one more reason" to reject the guy. So she'll see him, see he makes crappy money and lives at home or is 30something and lives with roommates because he can't afford to be on his own, works a crappy retail job, skipped on college or studied something that won't help him in life, is bald, flabby, and on top of it all, is only 5'7". She's not passing him up only because of the height, but much more. Many would still date the shorter guy who is successful, fashionable, confident, and takes care of himself. I'm 6'0", and I had women rejecting me in my past like crazy for much more. I was too "nice", I was living at home for a while to get my finances in order, and I wasn't some adonis. Maybe one could make an argument on how I was still a decent catch, but in the end there were many more men women could choose from that were better off than I was. NOW...the message I'll give to the short guys who have their lives together and yet get rejected by women for their height is to simply look at how those women are doing with their standards. I saw a quote recently that I laughed my butt off on. A woman said this, although it's been passed around... "Nice guys are ugly, hot guys are jerks, and hot nice guys are gay" So a girl rejected you because you're not 6 feet tall. How's her dating going for her? Is she one of those girls who complain that all the tall hot guys are douches while all the commitment-desiring men are ugly, short, and boring? They dig their own hole then. Like MeganDoll basically said...if you can't get your standards, then lower them. Same goes to women. If it seems all the tall hot guys treat you like a sex toy (but never a girlfriend) then obviously you also have to rethink those standards...or get some cats. The shorter guys simply have to then boost everything else so the height becomes the ONLY problem...not one of the problems.
irc333 Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 The shorter guys simply have to then boost everything else so the height becomes the ONLY problem...not one of the problems. Thing is though, I saw this thing on 20/20.....they took a bunch of women and guys, they "labeled" the guys (it was a sociological experiment) They labeled this short guy, like 5'6", he was a successful doctor, was in great shape physically, and rather handsome...made 6 figures. Thing is, no woman would the group sample of women had an interest in him because of his height. But the 6'3" labor worker that makes 30 K a year....most women selected him. Women will even choose height over power or status if put up to it and given a choice.
USMCHokie Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Thing is, no woman would the group sample of women had an interest in him because of his height. And this is why I never take these "studies" seriously. How large and how diverse was the sample (age, race, income status, etc., etc.)? There is no way the sample could possibly be representative of an entire gender. Studies can be manipulated to say pretty much anything the researchers want the data to say.
Feelin Frisky Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Absolutely. Makes it easier to throw them around. :laugh: So if a short guy jumped on your back would you beat him off?
USMCHokie Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 So if a short guy jumped on your back would you beat him off? No, I would probably neigh and buck like a horse, then run off into the sunset. No homo.
Eeyore79 Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 (edited) I will hold my hands up and admit that I prefer taller men. I've dated guys who were 5ft6 to 5ft9 because they were nice people, but there was a lack of physical chemistry. When I met a guy who was a 6ft2 football player he absolutely knocked my socks off; I found his height and broad shoulders incredibly hot. However, I will also admit that height isn't my only criteria - weight is also important. I dated a guy who was almost 6ft tall but stick thin (weighed less than me) and I found it to be a huge turn-off. If I had to choose between a short but stronger/heavier guy, or a tall skinny guy, I'd choose the heavier guy every time. He would still have to be taller than me though. Ideally I would probably go for a guy who was both taller and heavier. I don't just have superficial criteria - a guy also has to be decent, educated, employed, trustworthy, etc. I'd say that my height/weight criteria are instant dealbreakers though, whereas other criteria are judged on a case-by-case basis. I hate to admit this, but I did online dating a while ago and talked to this attractive doctor who had a good job, was muscular and did mountain climbing, and I thought he seemed really promising... until I noticed that his height was listed as 5ft6. I instantly lost interest in him for that one reason. Maybe I'm shallower than I thought :S Edited October 6, 2010 by Eeyore79
irc333 Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 (edited) I don't really pay much attention to the number of people surveyed, or the "sample". Not sure what scientists would have to gain by manipulating (lying) the data. I personally feel it's irrelavant actually. Because the results of that particular survey seems to mirror my personal experience and my other friends personal experiences as well. So you might as well be sufficient enough to be beleivable, mean the outcome doesn't suprise me one bit if a woman found a taller, handsome man that was less successful or moderately successful than the short, successful person with greater success. It's just that most women can't get over the height thing. I knew of women that had short, in great shape guys at a gym ask them out, but they just couldn't deal with dating a shorter (but yet muscular and athletic man), they thought he was cute, but just couldn't see themselves dating him. Some women just can't get over the height issue, it's OCD to some of them. lol And this is why I never take these "studies" seriously. How large and how diverse was the sample (age, race, income status, etc., etc.)? There is no way the sample could possibly be representative of an entire gender. Studies can be manipulated to say pretty much anything the researchers want the data to say. I hate to admit this, but I did online dating a while ago and talked to this attractive doctor who had a good job, was muscular and did mountain climbing, and I thought he seemed really promising... until I noticed that his height was listed as 5ft6. I instantly lost interest in him for that one reason. Maybe I'm shallower than I thought :S I rest my case.....lol Edited October 7, 2010 by irc333
Disillusioned Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 http://abcnews.go.com/2020/story?id=123853&page=2 It seems an aticle like this comes out once a week its now not just a myth anymore or paranoid short guys whining for no reason Being tall these articles makes me feel like im soemthing special for having height:laugh: Short Men= Borderline Obese women in the dating world What a crock that article is! I'm 6'6" and women aren't exactly trying to drop-tackle me every time I go to buy grokes at the supermarket. The truth is, for women there is no bigger kick than withholding kindness from men. :evilfun:
USMCHokie Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 I don't really pay much attention to the number of people surveyed, or the "sample". Of course not, especially when it favors your viewpoint. Not sure what scientists would have to gain by manipulating (lying) the data. :laugh: I would hardly call them "scientists"...and maybe they're short... I rest my case.....lol You rest your case on a single data point...?
Knittress Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 No, I would probably neigh and buck like a horse, then run off into the sunset. No homo. OMG, Would you guys GET HOMO already?
brainygirl Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 My dad was five eight, my ex-husband five six, and another LTR ex was five ten. I REALLY don't think its that big an issue. But then I'm a "semi-obese" woman. I love it how its terrible for women to reject men for being too short and too poor and not educated enough. But women have to be in top physical condition, have excellent features and proportions, have unlimited free time, and be willing to spend that free time on the man. hypocrisy . . . .
Disillusioned Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 But women have to be in top physical condition, have excellent features and proportions, have unlimited free time, and be willing to spend that free time on the man. hypocrisy . . . . BZZZZZ!!! MY ideal woman would never get hired as a model. Go figger.
Feelin Frisky Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 No, I would probably neigh and buck like a horse, then run off into the sunset. No homo. Ah, you didn't fall for the trick question ("would you beat him off?"). Everyone falls for that at least once (like "stupid idiot says what" and the victim always says: what?). After getting the "would you beat him off" trap the standard answer becomes "no, I'd throw him off".
Surrealist Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 Man I'm just shy of 6' and I wish I was shorter sometimes for bodybuilding purposes as it is easier to fill the frame with muscle! I'm more conscious of other genetic disadvantages, such as the size of me thingie!
brainygirl Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 BZZZZZ!!! MY ideal woman would never get hired as a model. Go figger. I actually have a theory that supposes that the stated preferences of men in women are much more "stringent" than what they are actually attracted to and happy with. American culture values the slim, tall, toned female form. It is a symbol of healthy, beauty, status, and power. Because of this, men will insist (in conversation) that they will only settle for that body type. In reality, women come is all shapes, sizes, heights, and builds, and a general female form is attractive to most men. I know I am far from the stated ideal in womanhood. I am short, with curves disproportionate to my height. Victoria's secret model I am not, but unable to attract men? Actually not my issue with dating. (now, attracting quality men who want a relationship is a different story) Does height play a role in dating for men? Possibly. But not the role being claimed by some here. Either that, or they are targeting a super elite group of females who's shallowness ought to be apparent in how they conduct themselves.
AD1980 Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 I actually have a theory that supposes that the stated preferences of men in women are much more "stringent" than what they are actually attracted to and happy with. American culture values the slim, tall, toned female form. It is a symbol of healthy, beauty, status, and power. Because of this, men will insist (in conversation) that they will only settle for that body type. You could use that those reason for why Tall Men are so valued to the level they are also
D-Jam Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 Thing is though, I saw this thing on 20/20.....they took a bunch of women and guys, they "labeled" the guys (it was a sociological experiment) They labeled this short guy, like 5'6", he was a successful doctor, was in great shape physically, and rather handsome...made 6 figures. Thing is, no woman would the group sample of women had an interest in him because of his height. But the 6'3" labor worker that makes 30 K a year....most women selected him. Women will even choose height over power or status if put up to it and given a choice. I saw that study. The way they posted the questions was more first just on physical features, then they told later what each person is like. I also think when you're in a hypothetical study like that, then it's easy to pick "hot" over "ideal". I still stand by my words. I know that if a morbidly obese woman with a doctorates and 6-figure salary were to come on to me, I'd reject simply because weight is a huge thing for me. Whereas if a hot unemployed uneducated single mom came on to me, I'd still reject...because she's got too many red flags. If one said you have to pick one, or the other, or be alone for life...then I choose alone for life. I have a feeling many more would do the same...including women. Hence why I tell guys who are constantly rejected to change up their thinking and look for any and all red flags they have...and remedy as many as possible. "Accept me as I am" is the rule, but many don't realize that it gives people the option to NOT accept you. I'm not attacking you here, but I just think complaining about how unfair it all is and pointing out how women and men are shallow isn't going to get a person to the desired result.
brainygirl Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 You are correct, that its not as bad as it seems. And there are different areas of the USA that are better or worse. I live in OHIO. The suburb I live in has very superficial females. They actually state on many of their profiles that they want a tall guy. A few hours away, in Pittsburgh or Cleveland, the women have a very different point of view. I've dated and known metro girls, and they are more open-minded and less likely to judge based on appearance. So the thing is, on here, you have people that see the grass as green all around them, and others are screaming wth are you talking about the grass is blue? Each persons opinion is usually based on their environment. I think you are probably right, I live in a very small, rural town where incomes tend to be low, and there are LOTS of heavy women here. I moved from a university town and even discounting the students, the population was fitter, more educated, and wealthier. I'm beginning to wonder if income isn't related to weight.
irc333 Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 Well, if you Google Laura Gottliebs "when is it okay to settle for Mr Good enough", in her book there was a survey done, where....when they were asked about what was it about the other person that they would not go on a 2nd date with a person Men named 3 things, the women named 300 things/reasons they wouldn't go out with the guy again. So it's really about being picky about things that DO matter in a meaningful relationship, as oppose to what does NOT matter. (ie - height) Heck the author, at one time wouldn't date a guy because his name was "Sheldon" lol I actually have a theory that supposes that the stated preferences of men in women are much more "stringent" than what they are actually attracted to and happy with. American culture values the slim, tall, toned female form. It is a symbol of healthy, beauty, status, and power. Because of this, men will insist (in conversation) that they will only settle for that body type. In reality, women come is all shapes, sizes, heights, and builds, and a general female form is attractive to most men. I know I am far from the stated ideal in womanhood. I am short, with curves disproportionate to my height. Victoria's secret model I am not, but unable to attract men? Actually not my issue with dating. (now, attracting quality men who want a relationship is a different story) Does height play a role in dating for men? Possibly. But not the role being claimed by some here. Either that, or they are targeting a super elite group of females who's shallowness ought to be apparent in how they conduct themselves.
brainygirl Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 Well, if you Google Laura Gottliebs "when is it okay to settle for Mr Good enough", in her book there was a survey done, where....when they were asked about what was it about the other person that they would not go on a 2nd date with a person Men named 3 things, the women named 300 things/reasons they wouldn't go out with the guy again. So it's really about being picky about things that DO matter in a meaningful relationship, as oppose to what does NOT matter. (ie - height) Heck the author, at one time wouldn't date a guy because his name was "Sheldon" lol I think that proves more that women's ideals are more varied than men's, not that women are shallower. It indicates that no matter what your issues are, some woman will probably think you are great, wheras a woman who doesn't fit that particular form, is pretty much screwed, dating wise. And "Mr. Good enough" was a condescending pile of crap.
florence of suburbia Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 (edited) My brother is short...I think he is about 5 ft 6, and I never heard him complain about his height limiting his ability to date. It was a non-issue for him. You're the one who is linking your height to your rejections. First of all, you have no idea why any given woman has rejected you on a cold approach. It could be your breath. Or your voice. Being tall is better than being short when it comes to getting a first date. To stay in the running after that, you actually need other qualities to recommend you: a nice smile, personality, intelligence, a sense of humor... Having a good resume doesn't mean you get the job. So what would you do if your job history on your resume was patchy? You'd emphasize your skills or your education. See where I'm going with this... Edited October 7, 2010 by florence of suburbia
USMCHokie Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 You're the one who is linking your height to your rejections. First of all, you have no idea why any given woman has rejected you on a cold approach. It could be your breath. Or your voice. Because it's the easy way out. If the real reason was actually something that a guy could improve on, it would be ludicrous to expect that guy to actually put forth the effort to improve himself. Luckily there's an attribute he can blame it on that's completely out of his control...his height...how convenient! He's an otherwise perfect guy, except for that darn height... /end sarcasm.
Mad Max Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 My dad was five eight, my ex-husband five six, and another LTR ex was five ten. I REALLY don't think its that big an issue. But then I'm a "semi-obese" woman. I love it how its terrible for women to reject men for being too short and too poor and not educated enough. But women have to be in top physical condition, have excellent features and proportions, have unlimited free time, and be willing to spend that free time on the man. hypocrisy . . . . I've seen many men with women that don't look like models. Some are average looking at best, some are obese, some are dumb as bricks, and some are all of the above. I was interested in a girl that was well over 200 pounds. Considering I'm 165 pounds, many would consider that at the very least, mind boggling. I fail to see the hypocrisy.
florence of suburbia Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 And another thing...is your mind really on statistics when you're wooing a particular girl? If so, that's the problem.
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