My ex is engaged to his ex only a week after he left me- so confussed?

[SoConfussed]

My boyfriend and I were so perfectly happy, until one night he broke up with me.They were together for a year before she broke up with him because she didn't want commitment and she wanted someone with money. She had a boyfriend while we were together but was texting him and saying she missed him. A few weeks b4 he left me, he told me his ex had broke it off with her boyfriend. I am so crushed and don't want to get out of bed. The pain or thoughts doesn't stop! We have only been split up for a week! They seem so happy. It's so unbeilevable to me!!! I am in shock every day... And can't help but cry. They get to be so happy.

[Fouts]

You were the rebound, unfortunately.

[Don Ho]

Sorry Confused, I can understand how much that hurts you. He obviously still had feelings for her. That's why you always want to do your best to determine if they're still hung up on their Ex and be careful. I know this doesn't make you feel any better, but it didn't work out for a reason. Shock is good, anger is better. I would be mad if I were you instead of sad. Get really busy and start to put your life back together.

[EricaH329]

I'm so sorry you are going through so much pain!! I know it hurts, and it feels like it's going to last forever, but I promise you it won't.

 

The first step is to stop thinking about them (the people who have nothing to do with your life anymore) and start focusing on yourself and the people who *do* matter. If you redirect your focus onto something more positive and productive, you'll be surprised at how much better you feel. I know it's easier said than done, but give it a try. I think you'll surprise yourself.

[Sambo]

This really SUCKS but the guy is a douche bag and you are ultimately much much better off without him.

 

Sorry you have to go through this though and I know it's hard but it will get better.

 

If it makes you feel any better most men despise guys like this and there the kinds of guys we like to pick on because their such punks and pussies.

 

Real men hate cowards.

Edited October 7, 2010 by Sambo

[Sam_Rather]

My boyfriend and I were so perfectly happy, until one night he broke up with me.They were together for a year before she broke up with him because she didn't want commitment and she wanted someone with money. She had a boyfriend while we were together but was texting him and saying she missed him. A few weeks b4 he left me, he told me his ex had broke it off with her boyfriend. I am so crushed and don't want to get out of bed. The pain or thoughts doesn't stop! We have only been split up for a week! They seem so happy. It's so unbeilevable to me!!! I am in shock every day... And can't help but cry. They get to be so happy.

 

It is for the best confused, now you can go meet someone you can truly relate to, start with baby steps, go out with your friends, joint a hiking group and expand your social circle so you can meet new people who are good enough for you

 

Sam

[SoConfussed]

I know eventually things will get easier, but It helps to hear others say what my ex did is a little crazy. I keep thinking this is not what healthy people do to other people! Thank you for validating my thoughts

[Don Ho]

I know eventually things will get easier, but It helps to hear others say what my ex did is a little crazy. I keep thinking this is not what healthy people do to other people! Thank you for validating my thoughts

People do crazy things in life and relationships. My Ex from years ago met a guy, cheated on me, got with him and got married. Know what? She's cheated on every man she's been with so I'm sure she'll cheat on him. Know what I say: Good. Now she's HIS problem!!

 

With your Ex it could be a rebound, a fling or whatever. Who cares. Yes it hurts, but it's better to find out NOW than 8 years down the road when you have two kids, a house, a dog and a life that was built together. Count your blessings and keep laughing at his dumb a$$!

[SoConfussed]

Thanks for all the caring responses. I know I'll never desire him in any kind of relationship, but I was so convinced we/he were happy. We did everything/ spent every moment together. He was very caring, concerned with my life, affectionate, let me ask him anything and talked it out with me, introduced me to his family and friends/son, encouraged me to have a relationship with them all, called & text me all the time, planned special time and get*aways for us. Plus so much more. I was so convinced.... I cry now knowing I can't ever trust because I can't trust my self to do so. I have so many men asking me out but I blow them all off because I ask my self "why would I date." How does anyone ever trust thier decisions again. I can't ever let anyone close again. How do you change that?

[SadGirl23]

I was a rebound gf years ago, and I certainly do know how you feel. It took me a little over a year to move on b/c I felt I couldn't trust no dude. Stay on LS, feel free to post as it really does help. We all know family and friends will be there, but sometimes we don't want to drive them away with our sadness all the time, so posting on LS has really helped me to get thru day by day. You are not alone as we all are going thru something. I got dumped by my ex of 5 years 2.5 mths ago. Suprisingly, I am slightly moving on, but I still can vision the pain that this man had put me through!

[Angel1111]

Unless he recently won the lottery and his ex suddenly embraces committment, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that this engagement is too rushed and their relationship probably won't last. One reason is that usually when people try to get back together after a break-up, and after they've been with other people, it's very hard to re-connect in the same way again. There will be a lot of disappointment and a lot of resentment to get past. The old issues that were once there have not gone away. I don't think they're prepared for the work it's going to take. There's a despeateness in this action of getting engaged right away, not to mention that it's highly insensitive of them both to do this on the heels of breaking up with you. They could've waited but seem to think it has to happen now, and make a statement now.

 

As far as dating someone else right now, not enough time has passed. Dating right after a break-up is almost always a bad idea. Let yourself heal and there will come a time when you're ready again. I know this must be so hurtful. I'm really sorry. I think in the end, he's going to be sorry he did this. Not that you should take him back if the opportunity presents itself because you've already seen what he's capable of. Take care.

[paleblue]

That's a total kick in the pants. Sorry this happened to you SoConfussed. You put your trust in him and he pulls the wool over your eyes. Pretty morally corrupt of him I would say to hide it so well. Yikes. That's too bad - for him now. I hope you don't bother engaging in conversation of any kind with this guy if you hear from him again. You obviously can't believe a word. You'll just get more aggrivation out of it than anything else, trust me. Try not to let him ruin your chances to be happy with someone else. Someone better, that you are actually meant to be with is around the corner. I would think generally speaking, that there are few, that are That subvertive, on that kind of level walking around. Don;t let him kill your spark.

 

Back with his ex, engaged in a week when she left him before for money? Bahhhaaahaa. If you think about it you probably just dodged a train wreck that was headed your way in life. Your life would have been pure hell if you married him. He would probably be cheating on you.

[lonelygurl]

My boyfriend and I were so perfectly happy, until one night he broke up with me.They were together for a year before she broke up with him because she didn't want commitment and she wanted someone with money. She had a boyfriend while we were together but was texting him and saying she missed him. A few weeks b4 he left me, he told me his ex had broke it off with her boyfriend. I am so crushed and don't want to get out of bed. The pain or thoughts doesn't stop! We have only been split up for a week! They seem so happy. It's so unbeilevable to me!!! I am in shock every day... And can't help but cry. They get to be so happy.

 

 

I am so sorry this has happened to you. Obvisiouly he is still very much in love with his X and as someone else said you were the rebound. My X wanted to get back together with me and he dumped the girl he was with and we were engaged in about 2 months. It may not work out for them in the long run, as mine didn't either. All the same issues come back and if you don't learn how to deal with the properly the second time around it doesn't work.

 

I can imagine how crushed you are. For me I felt like I had wasted so many years on something/someone that was eventually going to leave again.

[lonelygurl]

Unless he recently won the lottery and his ex suddenly embraces committment, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that this engagement is too rushed and their relationship probably won't last. One reason is that usually when people try to get back together after a break-up, and after they've been with other people, it's very hard to re-connect in the same way again. There will be a lot of disappointment and a lot of resentment to get past. The old issues that were once there have not gone away. I don't think they're prepared for the work it's going to take. There's a despeateness in this action of getting engaged right away, not to mention that it's highly insensitive of them both to do this on the heels of breaking up with you. They could've waited but seem to think it has to happen now, and make a statement now.

 

As far as dating someone else right now, not enough time has passed. Dating right after a break-up is almost always a bad idea. Let yourself heal and there will come a time when you're ready again. I know this must be so hurtful. I'm really sorry. I think in the end, he's going to be sorry he did this. Not that you should take him back if the opportunity presents itself because you've already seen what he's capable of. Take care.

 

You said it exactly the way I think it but can't really put into words!