dng Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Hi folks, I just need to vent out a little. Long story short: my ex left me in july, found herself a new place in a different city and moved out really quickly. I was pining for her for over three months. We had a vacation planned that she cancelled and I ended with nothing to do but wander around aimlessly for 2 weeks. It was really crushing but she kept calling me and telling me she wanted to come back and needed more time and space. Last week she told me there had been someone in the background this whole time. I saw her 3 or 4 times during that time and didnt know this. She was super cold to me, no sex or anything. When she finally told me, I sent her an email describing my feelings and how hurt I was over this, that I didnt want to forgive her and to leave me alone. That was a week ago and now she's calling me all the time and driving me nuts. I really dont want her back anymore and I want to be NC. Its really hard, why isnt she respecting my wishes?
PegNosePete Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Have you told her to stop contacting you? How did she respond? I don't mean an email expressing your feelings... I mean a text message saying "STOP CONTACTING ME".
smk Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 dude pete is right??? have you actually asked her to stop contacting you??? i went through something very similar - my ex wanted to be friends and stupid me thought by staying close i could get her back - big mistake. i was miserable while she was out enjoying herself and metting new people and going out partying and clubbing and doing everything she wanted to do whilst i was drinking myself into oblivion and basically being miserable until one day i could no longer handle it... i laid out my cards on the table and sent her a long text msg saying exactly how i felt and that she needed to stop contacting me unless she was looking at getting back together and also telling her that i would contact her when i was ready to be friends.... dude if she doesnt understand that you are hurting then you have to spell it out for her and basically tell her that you will be NC'ing her and that she needs to respect that. good luck buddy
Author dng Posted October 6, 2010 Author Posted October 6, 2010 Folks, My email was final. The first line said to not answer it and to assume I didnt even exist anymore. When I think of all the pain I've been going through, all the hope she kept on feeding me, while she was developping feelings and sleeping with somebody else, my only conclusion is that I dont want anything to do with her anymore. She told me that she met someone a few weeks after moving out, that the person was also grieving a relationship, that they saw each other for a few weeks and that it was over and there was nothing between them. I dont believe her because she moved out so fast, so suddenly, the only way I think you can do this is if you have someone else on your mind. And she kept stringing me along the whole time. Of course now that I dont want her back she's calling me everyday but I never pick up and I really need it to stop.
PegNosePete Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 I think you need to spell it out a little more... loudly. Tell her "I don't want to be your friend. I don't want to talk to you. Please stop trying to contact me". And that's it, no "hi" or feelings or anything else, just those words. Then don't respond to her any more. She should get the message.
Buccaneer55 Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 I couldn't agree more. My ex ended it with me, and I've told her I want to get back together, she doesn't right now, and she continues to try and reach out to me. It's so much easier for the person who did the dumping to keep you in their life. You just have to try and brush off her attempts. Sometimes I give in and respond to my ex but it's usually never more than 1-2 words keeping it very short. Until you can handle just a friendship with her, or until she says she wants to reconcile your relationship, just try and stay away from her and her attempts. It's the best thing for YOU and that's what you should be concerned about, yourself not her.
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