make me believe Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Gah. You're not overreacting at all, OP! Three and a half months in and the sex is already dwindling? That would be a HUUUUUUUGE problem for me. All of his "reasons" and justifications make it sound like he just has issues with sex. You need to have an honest talk with him and see what the heck is going on. It is NOT normal for this to be happening after only a few months and right after you've exchanged I love you's for the first time. If he's got the madonna-whore complex jamesum brought up, this is your chance to RUN LIKE HELL before you get even more attached to him. Seriously! Find someone who loves you AND wants to bang like animals... cause nothin is better than that!
waynebrady Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Trolls belong under bridges, not on LS. If you're going to be a troll, at least be somewhat amusing and not predictable with your posts. I'm not trying to be amusing or un-predictable because I'm not a troll.
waynebrady Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Who said it first??? The guy... Women never say "I love you" first.
USMCHokie Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 The guy... Women never say "I love you" first. Is this more of your "common knowledge"...?
waynebrady Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Is this more of your "common knowledge"...? Well you just need to look around this forum and other similar sites about dating and relationships to see that women are passive at all times and expect the guy to take the lead and initiate everything. So yeah it is common knowledge to. The vast majority of all women also follow these "rules" about how they should never initiate contact, let him chase her, let him initiate exclusivity talk and the "I love you"'s and pretty much everything...
USMCHokie Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Well you just need to look around this forum and other similar sites about dating and relationships to see that women are passive at all times and expect the guy to take the lead and initiate everything. So yeah it is common knowledge to. The vast majority of all women also follow these "rules" about how they should never initiate contact, let him chase her, let him initiate exclusivity talk and the "I love you"'s and pretty much everything... :laugh: I would HARDLY consider the membership of LS or any dating site as representative of the population as a whole...come on now, you can't be serious...? Perhaps in your young age, you should spend less time on LS and more time living in real life...
waynebrady Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 :laugh: I would HARDLY consider the membership of LS or any dating site as representative of the population as a whole...come on now, you can't be serious...? Perhaps in your young age, you should spend less time on LS and more time living in real life... Says the guy with over 4000 posts I don't post on here more than you or anybody for that matter and I'm close to your age.
eerie_reverie Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 what are you doing hokie.... don't feed the troll!!!
USMCHokie Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Says the guy with over 4000 posts I don't post on here more than you or anybody for that matter and I'm close to your age. Oh gosh...I'm sorry...
waynebrady Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 what are you doing hokie.... don't feed the troll!!! I really hate to go so off topic but why do people just assume I'm a troll, because I don't have the same oppinion as you? I'm telling it the way I see it. I have seen nothing to suggest I'm wrong...
USMCHokie Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 I really hate to go so off topic but why do people just assume I'm a troll, because I don't have the same oppinion as you? I'm telling it the way I see it. I have seen nothing to suggest I'm wrong... Mmmm, but there's also nothing to prove that you're right, either...it's fine to have an opinion based on personal experiences, but to go and represent it as an absolute truth, or "common knowledge" as you put it, is well...a little bit ignorant...
Author Arasae Posted October 6, 2010 Author Posted October 6, 2010 Originally Posted by eerie_reverie Who said it first??? The guy... Women never say "I love you" first. I said it first. He reacted with a very passionate kiss and told me, "I'd like to return the sentiment, but I'm waiting for my moment." And then told me the next night--he said he felt it was corny and not genuine and/or special if you say "Oh, I love you too" right after, so.. anyway. I think I just put too much significance on it, and he senses that, so it's a turn off. I think I need to back off a little bit about it and just try to instigate stuff naturally--and not kiss all over his back, since that relaxes/puts him to sleep him instead of turning him on, lol. We all have different triggers. I'm going to keep my eyes open for any more of this behavior, it's just scary to go a week without sex when that was such a HUGE pattern from my last relationship. Thank you, everyone, for your responses!
Floridaman Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 (edited) Hey there, everyone. I can't believe how stupid this is, but here it goes.. so a few days ago, the boyfriend and I exchanged "I Love Yous" for the first time. Guess how many times we've had sex since then? Zero. And not for lack of trying on my part. I've tried to instigate probably four times since then, and it's resulted in one prolonged talk about how he doesn't want to "feel pressured to perform/have sex lose the fun" and then him falling asleep when I was kissing all over his back--I guess it relaxed him instead of turning him on. I've given him some oral, but there has been zero attempt at reciprocity. It's been a little over a week now and the man who had a reasonably healthy sex drive last week suddenly doesn't seem to have much of one! I don't know what to do. I was forced to end a three year relationship where, for a year and a half, we would have sex once every 2-3 weeks and that was it. It's freaking me out that the pattern is repeating--my new boyfriend and I have only been dating three and a half months and it, very suddenly, feels like I'm being thrust into that same situation. We talked about it and, in addition to the "wanting sex to be fun and not forced" comment (which is reasonable), he said he wants me to develop trust in his attraction to me and that he wants it to be fun thing, not something we do to avoid fixing a problem, so we didn't have sex that night.. But how can I develop that if he doesn't even try to reciprocate sexual things with me??? Why is it that whenever the "L" word comes out (and I'm very sure he means it when he says it), the sex goes away??? Am I just over reacting??? Now I'm afraid that even talking about it will pressure him and have him "lose the fun", but I'm very close to losing the "fun" for myself! I don't know what to do to fix this.. Thoughts? If my woman had told me she loves me, I would jump for joy and likely show he even more emotional and sexual passion. But I was careful with my last dating experience as I'd been burned before using that word too quickly. You said it first and saw what happened from someone who doesn't really care for you... or.. at the least, cares a lot less about your relationship than you for him. I used to tell my GF who became my wife during or just after completion how I loved her and would thank her for satisfying me. At that point, I wasn't so afraid she'd leave, especially given how intimate we had been with each other. But then, we'd been dating a long time. Edited October 11, 2010 by Floridaman
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