How many of you found out their married person was lying to them?

[wheelwright]

Just for simplicity's sake, I'll write this as if some of you don't know the story.

 

A short summary if you'd like.....

He lied so much he still makes my head spin and it's been 3 months since I found out the truth.

He lied 2 times about being separated, when he was not.

There are hundreds of little and big lies in between, some small and some so heinous and ugly and disgusting that it's still hard to accept that the man I thought I knew, who I thought was kind and honorable and good, was really a monster in disguise.

The last few months of it, the lies got even more vile and evil as he was trying to keep me and the BS from talking. He painted her out to be everything she was not. He had me afraid of her for myself and him too. He told her all kind of lies about me, so that she wouldn't contact me. It was all designed to keep us from discovering the truth.

I know for every lie that her and I uncovered there are plenty more that I'll never know about and it makes me .

 

Sometimes I read some of the posts here and I think oh no, that woman is just as trusting as I used to be, and then oh no, that woman just told everyone one of the same lies I heard. Only difference is.........I now know it was a lie, she doesn't. It's sad...... No I'm not saying all situations are the same, but sadly most of them are.

 

Well I like this post for its honesty.

 

In retrospect, and certainly not at the time, I felt that xMOM lied because he wanted to be in control about his DDay, and he feared if he said the wrong thing, I would take that out of his hands.

 

The suspicions firmed up, when he was forced to admit (by me) to lying about who he had told about the A.

 

And when he continued to lie when after DDay he blubbered 'It's not another woman' and then I found out he had had a sexual encounter with an OW that he couldn't hope to cover up, so probably came clean to his W then.

 

And it still took well over a year to get over it. Doh!

 

And all the time, I thought we were being honest with each other.