schnitzel_noodles Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 My live-in boyfriend of 3 years left me two weeks ago. He says he thinks we're better off being best friends. I haven't heard from him since. I have been crying my eyes out non stop. I barely get any sleep, and when I do, I wake up feeling sick. I feel like my heart is about to explode from beating so fast. It's unbearable... I've tried venting to my friends and family, but I think they're getting sick of me and my pathetic self. They have their own busy lives to take care of. What can I do to relieve my pain, even temporarily? This break up came out of nowhere. I have so many questions left unanswered, but he refuses to take my calls. I was so happy with him, and he seemed happy too...how could he just leave me with no explanation? He must not have loved me. I don't think I can get through this. I'm not strong enough...
cb9343 Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 you can do this keep a blog on here.. every day you will get better.. you need to look at your self and write everything you love about yourself and your proud of.. now write down somethings you want to do now for yourself and have been putting off since your relationship.. pamper yourself and make yourself feel beautiful... continue with no contact and really focus on you! you can do this and just make yourself a better you.. everything happens for a reason this is your time to really give yourself a makeover!! hope this helps!
skydiveaddict Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 (edited) I don't think I can get through this. I'm not strong enough... Oh yes you can. Many of us here have been through it. And you will make it too. It takes time to heal those wounds. The most painful wounds of your life . Like I've said many times before, It's been over a year for me and I'm still not over it. But I will be someday and so will you. And 9343 is right. It will get a litte better everyday Edited October 5, 2010 by skydiveaddict
Sweet_Tea Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 It sounds like you could do with some closure to help you move on. I'm so sorry that he doesn't seem willing to give this to you. It also sounds like you are suffering from anxiety over the break-up. Try some breathing exercises or relaxation exercises to try feel a little less sick. Every now and then anxiety creeps up on me too and all I want to do is throw up, then I realise i'm not really breathing, or i'm breathing too quickly and too shallowly so I get all light headed etc... I don't know how to tell you how to move on except that time helps. Time helped me see that my ex was not the one for me for many reasons other than the reasons he had given me. He had his own reasons and looking back now I have completely different reasons as to why we shouldn't be together. Your breakup is still fresh, so mourn. Allow yourself to mourn, it's all part of the healing process.
Author schnitzel_noodles Posted October 5, 2010 Author Posted October 5, 2010 Thanks for the advice....I really want to believe everyone when they say time will heal my pain, but in all honesty, it's just words to me right now. I really wish I could believe it. I'm home alone today with no one to talk to. I woke up feeling like I wanted to vomit. I've been up since 4am cleaning up the house, trying desperately to remain optimistic. But I can't help but feel like my life is over. It doesn't help that I keep thinking maybe he left because he found someone new. Maybe he's been cheating on me all along and decided to leave me for the other woman? I hate all these thoughts that are running through my head, but it's like I have no control over it. I've never taken a break up this hard, this is probably the most difficult thing I've ever been through... I wanted to see a therapist or something but I am a college student living off of loans. I just can't afford it. I don't know how much longer I can take this...
pandagirl Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Thanks for the advice....I really want to believe everyone when they say time will heal my pain, but in all honesty, it's just words to me right now. I really wish I could believe it. I'm home alone today with no one to talk to. I woke up feeling like I wanted to vomit. I've been up since 4am cleaning up the house, trying desperately to remain optimistic. But I can't help but feel like my life is over. It doesn't help that I keep thinking maybe he left because he found someone new. Maybe he's been cheating on me all along and decided to leave me for the other woman? I hate all these thoughts that are running through my head, but it's like I have no control over it. I've never taken a break up this hard, this is probably the most difficult thing I've ever been through... I wanted to see a therapist or something but I am a college student living off of loans. I just can't afford it. I don't know how much longer I can take this... I understand it must be hard, because your boyfriend didn't give you any answers (which, in my opinion, is rather cowardly!). Here's the truth: it's not going to feel better for a good amount of time. One day you might be fine, and the next feel like dying. It'll be like this for awhile. You are allowed to be sad and cry and feel horrible. But what you should really avoid is torturing yourself or having negative thoughts about yourself, because you are great and awesome and lovable. Just because your relationship didn't work out, doesn't mean there is anything wrong with YOU.
Fouts Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Stay busy, have fun with friends, meet new people. Realize you may never get that closure, like Panda said, some people have no integrity deep down and are cowards. Focus on the future.
Confused9 Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Not getting any closure is hard. This happened with my breakup as well. My therapist told me I needed to create my own closure. So, I wrote a letter to myself, from him, and said everything I wished was true. "he was miserable, wanted to be wtih me, etc etc." I would read it every night and write letters back (obvi didn't send them) but you CAN do this and you ARE strong enough. We all think that we aren't but once we get over the hump...after a few months when we feel almost human again, you really do start feeling better. I promise.
yessy21 Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 i hurled myself in a ball and slept work sleep work sleep. i couldnt even shower without sobbing or talk without the pain. but it gets better after a week. or two. its been 2 years and i still feel a little lost but ive decided to myself that maybe he just didnt love me that way. even though he said he did. :'/ dont worry. get a hobbie or go out with friends. dont mention his name and if u can move. so u dont have to be were u once both were. if he comes around which he will by the way. one day fate will put him on ur path. u lift up ur chin and keep walking. he tries to talk to u. u smile and answer him with "im sorry i dont have time, i have to meet with someone.. nice seeing u" i swear u will laugh all the way home.
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