sdarren40 Posted October 4, 2010 Posted October 4, 2010 My boyfriend and I were together for 4 years. Two years ago, we decided to live together and move across the country to attend college. About 3 weeks ago, he broke down in tears and said that he doesn't know if we have a future together. We had been arguing a lot this past year, and I guess all that fighting pushed him away. He said he doesn't want to be in a relationship right now because he feels we both need to make some changes within ourselves. His focus is school, which I respect. He begged me to promise that we would always be in each others lives. He said he still sees a strong possibility that we'll be together again in the long run. Needless to say, I am absolutely devastated...I truly believed he would be "the one." We are the best of friends, and I know and feel that there is a deep genuine love between us. I understand why he wants to break up, and I can't be mad at him for that...but it hurts me to my core. I want to believe that maybe we will still end up together, but I can't put my faith in that. Things happen...I fear he will find someone else and forget all about me and what we have. That would absolutely kill me... After talking it out, we decided that I would move out at the end of the year to my own place. Til then, we still act like a couple...but I feel the tension in the air because we both know that in a few months, we will no longer be together. It almost feels like our love has a deadline.... I feel sick thinking about the day when I finally move out. When I leave, he wants to remain platonic friends so that he doesn't lead me on...no hugs, kisses, etc. It'll be so hard to see him and not be able to give him a kiss... The worst part of all this is that I am all alone. My friends and family all live on the other side of the country. I have many acquaintances here, but none of them I would consider a friend. I can't move back home because of college so I am stuck here. In a few months I will be living by myself for the first time with no friends, family, or support system to help me get through this heartbreak. I'm not strong enough to make it...I have just lost the love of my life and I have no one to help me...
mickleb Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 I'm sorry to say you need to move out asap and go NC with this guy. Go LC until that is possible: only interact with him if necessary and do so in a businesslike way. He may not, intentionally, be being cruel here but he is breaking up with you very badly. I cannot believe he has suggested you two remain intimate until you move out and then 'no hugs' etc. He is not worth hanging onto. He is not capable of working through the difficult times and he is being extremely selfish. Please protect yourself and your dignity by accepting this relationship is over and get yourself into a situation where you can heal from it. Your current one looks disastrous. Take care. x
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