tinybear5 Posted October 4, 2010 Posted October 4, 2010 So we talked last night. And finally after a month of being broken up and talkin evryday we have decided to try no contact for a montth...he was hesistant at first to agree to it but I told him "how can u miss someone and clear ur head if thr always around?".....he said its going to be hard for him, and its gonna be hard for me but at the end we both agreeed it something we should try, just to be able to see how we feel which the other out of our lifes....thoughts anyone?
USMCHokie Posted October 4, 2010 Posted October 4, 2010 How about trying NC forever...? I can see it now...all this will make you do is pull out your calendar, mark the one month date, and cross off each day as you're "looking forward" to the day NC expires...so I don't see how this would be of any benefit to either of you... I don't know the story and I don't know who broke up with who...but then again, in 99% of cases, the story is completely irrelevant and is just BS that clouds the dumpee from the truth...the relationship is broken for a reason...you need to move on...
pandagirl Posted October 4, 2010 Posted October 4, 2010 So we talked last night. And finally after a month of being broken up and talkin evryday we have decided to try no contact for a montth...he was hesistant at first to agree to it but I told him "how can u miss someone and clear ur head if thr always around?".....he said its going to be hard for him, and its gonna be hard for me but at the end we both agreeed it something we should try, just to be able to see how we feel which the other out of our lifes....thoughts anyone? Yes, of course you have to not talk to him! How are you ever going to move on talking to him everyday? Believe me, I've been NC for almost a month and it's really good.
Author tinybear5 Posted October 4, 2010 Author Posted October 4, 2010 He needs space right now. That's what it is. I'm not pinning on a reconcilation , we both tjhought this is a good idea. At first he was like "no no date, how about if I text u?"...which won't work becuz he trys to talk to me everyday. He needs to see what its really like to miss me.
pandagirl Posted October 4, 2010 Posted October 4, 2010 He needs space right now. That's what it is. I'm not pinning on a reconcilation , we both tjhought this is a good idea. At first he was like "no no date, how about if I text u?"...which won't work becuz he trys to talk to me everyday. He needs to see what its really like to miss me. He doesn't need to see if he misses you, because of course he will miss you. He's being selfish. If he needs space, he needs to let you go.
Author tinybear5 Posted October 4, 2010 Author Posted October 4, 2010 You see the problem I have with taking advice on here is every situtation is different . Every guy is different . The guy I'm talking about is not your average 22 year old. He is extreamly smart and intellectual. He thinks like no one eles his age. He's analytical. He comes from a very affluent and sucessful family. He is not your average 22 year old bar hopping college student . He socializes with the most affluent and wealthy people in the town . He is well traveled and well cultured. .. This guy is a engineering , finance and accouting major. He is the only 22 year old I know who watches the stock market and looks out for profitble investments .I am not talking about every other 22 year old guy out there, this is why I have an issue with taking advice from just anyone.- he doesn't beat around the bush with things , so when he says he needs space, I truly believe that's what he needs. It wouldn't have been so hard for him to just stop talking and cut me out of his life like I have offered and tried to do with him ...becuase he truly doesn't want it . I believe he needs to be apart, I wana see if he misses me . We agreed to revisit this issue and see where we stand in a month. This was 3 yrs out of my life, and a conncetion and chemistry like nothing eles, this is not something you let go of without careful consideration . Soo, if your dealing with or have delt with a guy like this, please , your imput is welcome..
Billie The Puppet Posted October 4, 2010 Posted October 4, 2010 Now that you have described his IQ level how do you compare? If you are a few levels down, or a few levels up from him that's ok but if you are more in either direction it makes you less compatible. This is not exactly proven but I personally believe it does effect conversation. Also just because he is in a different IQ bracket that you would say isn't the average guy doesn't mean general advice doesn't apply. Perhaps he needs space or perhaps he is putting himself first. Perhaps he has different goals in which a relationship only ties him down. As described it seems like he wants to be financially set for his future based on the courses you described. In recent economies who wouldn't? Those traits must attract you even more and I don't mean in a gold digger way but one who can take care of himself. Btw I'm 25 and I took the same courses back when I was in college. However I consider my self average. Also discussing going NC takes the effect of NC away.
Author tinybear5 Posted October 4, 2010 Author Posted October 4, 2010 Well I didn't wanna jus start ignorung him when he text me ...I thouvght it be nice to discuss it with him first. The way hje was handeling it wasn't right . You can't have your cake and eat it too. I'm not gonna stay in his life talking with him everyday so he doesn't have to deal with really losing me . That's ineffective. I also do not want to be his friend . No way .
Billie The Puppet Posted October 4, 2010 Posted October 4, 2010 So your plan is to stay on contact as a confidant? It will hurt you somewhere down the road.
Author tinybear5 Posted October 4, 2010 Author Posted October 4, 2010 No my plan is no contact for a month...see how it really feels to be without eachother . Look art this in a month with a clear head
Ajax Posted October 4, 2010 Posted October 4, 2010 No my plan is no contact for a month...see how it really feels to be without eachother . Look art this in a month with a clear head Good luck. I've been NC for a month and guess what? My head's not clear.
USMCHokie Posted October 4, 2010 Posted October 4, 2010 No my plan is no contact for a month...see how it really feels to be without eachother . Look art this in a month with a clear head A month is nothing. Try a year...then you'll really know...and by then your head will actually be clear...neither of you will be any different in a month's time... But then again you can just ignore me and stay on this road you've paved yourself and keep complaining about why things are the way they are...and people who say "well my situation is different" are just fooling themselves...but then again, you're still young... In the end, when you pull away all the irrelevant details, it's really quite simple...
USMCHokie Posted October 4, 2010 Posted October 4, 2010 Good luck. I've been NC for a month and guess what? My head's not clear. Exactly. My head wasn't even remotely "clear" until about 10 months or so of NC...but YMMV...
Author tinybear5 Posted October 4, 2010 Author Posted October 4, 2010 So what are you auggesting? I should text him and say let just stop talking all together ?
USMCHokie Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 So what are you auggesting? I should text him and say let just stop talking all together ? You don't need to text him telling him that. You just stop talking to him altogether. Actions always speak louder than words.
GrayClouds Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 He is not your average 22 year old bar hopping college student . He socializes with the most affluent and wealthy people in the town . He is well traveled and well cultured. .. This guy is a engineering , finance and accouting major. The thing is that even the most mature and intellectual 22 year is still a 22 year old.
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