tbird509 Posted October 4, 2010 Posted October 4, 2010 i dated my girlfriend for two years and she broke up with me 3 months ago,i chased her by calling and texting and talking about our relationship everyday at work,we broke up july4th ,she went up to her cottage with her family and wanted me to go but i said no,she was very depressed because her dog died that was 12{she said losing her dog was just as bad as when her father died ] when she was at her cottage she said she realized i wasnt what she wanted...in the begining when we first brokep she kept saying to move on and give up,about a month went by and even though i seen her 5days a week,we work in a hair salon and see eachother all day..she told a coworker that she missed me,next thing you know she's called and we ended up getting back together,but it only lasted about 3 weeks,she realized i changed my ways and was going to put her 1st but she said it was to late and that she wasnt in love with me anymore and that the spark was gone.the reason we broke up cause i was a ******* who didnt put much effort into the relationship.i was probably only putting in 30%..i never felt like she was the one,until it was to late.the reason i didnt ever see her in my future is because 5yrs before we met,she was a stripper for a year to pay for her school,i was hung up on that and i was still in love with a previous ex,[im over the previous ex now]so with those 2 things,i never gave her a fair chance.she told me she thought i was the one,but that obviously went away..so the last time we talked was at work two weeks ago,she told me she was going to date other people,and if she misses me and comes crawling back and that if i cant accept she dated other people than thats a risk she's willing to take.then she said she that she was setting up something soon i asked her if she was interested in this guy and she said no,but she wanted to meet new people,i asked her if she's moved on and she said no.i took a vacation for a week and told her i was doing it to clear my head and to move on..she knows i wanted her to move into my house and i was ready to get married after i realized how much she meant to me,so i dont think she thinks im moving on which obviously im not.so in our breakroom she's asking the girls where she should go on a date,she didnt want anything romantic,she was thinking biking or hiking,they suggested going to watch a band.its only been a month since we split for the second time,so i dont know if she's doing this to help her move on,or if she is really interested in him.either way she's discussing it with people where im sure she realizes that im going to find out.since i got back from my vaca two weeks ago,ive been just smiling and saying hi and playing it cool,i not gona ask her if she's dating and im just gona play it cool like ive moved on,because prior to my vaca,i wouldve been drilling her with questions which she said was pushing her far far away.at this point i dont wana give up but im going crazy seeing her everyday and changing jobs isnt an option,and now i have to think of her going out on dates with new people.im trying to stay positive but im starting to lose hope.im 32 and shes 28,she said she hasnt ever casually dated and wants to meet new people,shes only been in serious relationships.she knows if we ever got back together everything would be different,i would put her first and she even said to me,she doesnt know if she'll ever meet anbody who will love and care for her as much as me,when she came back for 3 weeks she could tell i changed my ways which was the problem why we split.if you were in my shoes and you worked with your ex and litteraly have to see them all day,what would you do,you cant ignore and no contact is outa question.what ive been doing is just smiling and playing it cool and acting as if ive moved on. i cant picture myself letting go,not to sound arrogant but im a good looking guy that doesnt have a problem meeting women so im not worried about that,i just wana be with her,i just think cause she see's me 5 days a week she wont miss me enough cause she see's me all day..if you were in my shoes what would you do?,cause im not giving up on the most important thing in my life,if she gets serious with somebody then i would,but i think she's just looking to casualy date and have fun and focus on herself...the last time i asked her if she thought we'd get back together in the future,she said if we did it wouldnt be for awhile,but probably never.she's told me to move on and let go and if were meant to be together we will be...she's also said she can picture me NOT in her life.so whutcha think,do you chalk this one up as a loss or stay positive and think if its meant to be,it will? cause the longer you keep hope alive,i wouldnt beable to move on,but how do you move on from the most important person in my life that im in love with...ive accepted its over but i still have hope for the future.right now im just giving her space.all advice is welcome...and yes im an idiot and shudve appreciated what i had when it was still their,but i didnt till it was gone..what would you guys do if you were in my shoes?
Banega100 Posted October 4, 2010 Posted October 4, 2010 whether she is 'serious with another guy' or 'just casually dating', is irrelevant. The key is that she does not want to be with you anymore, and that she is actively looking for some one else. If you have no problems meeting women, then your best bet will be to find another, and yes, move on. All the best buddy.
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