carhill Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Though much time had passed and life had worked its ways on the physical, side by side, in the here and now, they could've been sisters. As I did have the opportunity to see them that way a few times, it seems remarkable only now. Even more strangely, their personalities turned out to be similar too, much to my chagrin. Well, thanks for asking
CrestfallenNoMore Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 He cheated with the opposite too - a "type" he was never attracted to or dated in the past. I'm very tall, brunette, a "true curvy" and pretty easy going. She's short, blonde, chunky and demanding. She "challenges him" he said. Proves the power of an emotionally-driven affair, don't it?
Author threebyfate Posted October 5, 2010 Author Posted October 5, 2010 Beyond the defensive responses, looks like there were quite a few who were polar opposites. Very interesting.
You Go Girl Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 We often RUN to the opposite of what we have known. Those like Carhill, are simply masochistic. (teasing! umm...kinda!) I should add that he was exactly the opposite, to the extreme. She...well...every porn star on the net that wasn't ugly.
carhill Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 In my case, I unwittingly married the spitting image of what my former MW ultimately, a generation later, appeared like. It wasn't until I saw them together for the first time that I went WTF. If you want further weird, my former MW/OW had become the likeness, almost to a fault, of one of my mother's sisters. Even her voice and mannerisms. Yikes.
You Go Girl Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Oedipus complex? We're going to have to resurrect Freud for this one Carhill ! Strange too, is that OM reminded me of one of my brothers, the yucky one too. HOpefully he didn't smell his socks while watching tv like my older brother did as a kid. Hopefully it is simply a desire to resurrect familial customs, facial expressions, word choices, mannerisms, values, moreso than a desire to inbreed. It's pleasant to meet someone that brings back one's childhood, minus those socks of course.
carhill Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 The young MW I fell in love with looked more like Natalie Wood (exactly, actually) than my mother (seen at 38 with me as an infant) but she would change markedly in appearance over the next 22 years. What was interesting about it was that, even though physically she had changed a lot, the 'whatever' we shared, how we locked eyes on each other, was just as strong immediately as it always had been. FWIW, no two MW's have been alike, appearance-wise. Hispanic, Russian, Asian, Mut (like me), you name it. I'll be happy to move on to less remarkable, healthier interactions Oh, BTW, my now much older fMW/OW? The guy she's with now, she's the spitting image of his ex-wife. No worries though. I've met his mother. No oedipal problems there. LOL.
spriggig Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Without prompting, everyone I showed his picture to said the same thing: "He looks just like you!"
melody3p Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Another thread made me wonder if the person your spouse cheated with, was pretty much the opposite in looks. The ex-husband cheated with a big, fat, tall brassy blonde. I'm dark-haired and petite. All his prior relationships were with petite brunettes. same here my husband cheated with a short fat ugly thing!! im blonde and petite. she was a short fat brunette.
SidLyon Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 (edited) Sometimes I think we look similar. I am about 5' 6'', she is shorter. I am a natural blonde she is a dyed blonde, naturally dark. We are both from northern Europe originally. She is about 15 years younger than me. Edited October 7, 2010 by SidLyon
katielee Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 OM is married to a short, frumpy woman. I'm tall, curvy and 6 years older than her. OM is a younger version of my BS. Weird.
Crazy Magnet Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 The female AP of my xH was slightly taller than me, dark hair, think a drug addict, and was subsequently arrested for getting into all kinds of problems while drunk and high. she looked like a train wreck and a half. I also have dark hair and am thin. I guess that's the kind of women he went for. The MEN my xH was sleeping with.....well, I can safely say I in no way resemble a man. haha
Fight4Me Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 My fWH's A had nothing to do with looks or personality, or whether she was the opposite or spitting image of me. As far as looks go, I would say she's probably attractive. She's short, but stays fit. She has large hips and thighs, flat chest, all of which isn't necessarily a bad thing, although my fWH said it kind of bothered him that "she had no knees," as in her legs were not defined. I'm not into hardcore workouts, but I'm 5'7, size 4, blond hair (although, I like to change it up a bit with some dark lowlights), and have a... uhhh... decent figure up top. Personality wise, she was/is pretty no-nonsense. She's older and has been married to her career all her life. Definitely the opposite of me in that I find humor in most things in life and am very laid back. Family comes first, and I adore my husband and children. I had the rare opportunity to make peace with her as circumstances would have it. I personally believe she deserves a good man who can appreciate who she is. My fWH simply isn't it, and I pray she moves on once and for all.
allhopelost Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 My wife's AP was the complete polar opposite of everything listed below. I am somewhat short, stocky, fair skinned, blonde, I don't do drugs and I don’t play basketball, work full time in a professional career, am family orientated, have never been a womanizer, been a great father, responsible husband, never been arrested for selling drugs and I genuinely care for others. Perhaps I am/was too mundane and domestic, normal if you will, and the wife wanted to “experience” something new and strange. I guess I will never know. All I can say is that I hope it was worth it for her in the end after everything shakes out completely, as the end has yet to come. To be fair, if I ever found myself in a place where I was completely different in appearance than the women that I worked with and for some reason they found me attractive… and if I found myself flattered by their curiosity and attention towards me… I am not so sure that I would be able to resist any temptations or opportunities should they present themselves either. Especially after what has happened already in our marriage. That door has already been thrown open. Would I care if they were married or single? Probably not, at least my wife’s AP didn’t so why should I? This is very unlikely, but I guess it is pretty much all I have left as far as fantasies go for me…
worlybear Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 She looks like a ferret with fat hamster cheeks, a stick-thin body (no shape at all) long,bristly ginger hair, noticeable ginger freckles all over her face (and presumably body ugh!).She also has yellow buck teeth and when she laughs loudly she honks like a goose ! So alongside sex it must be a meeting of like minds I'm really offended! I mean, seriously! Message to STBXH... "Should've gone to Spec-Savers......":D
OWoman Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 Another thread made me wonder if the person your spouse cheated with, was pretty much the opposite in looks. I don't think it was our difference in looks that was so significant; rather our difference in personality.
seibert253 Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I'll even admit, my FWW's OM was a good looking dude. Taller than I, but somewhat skinny IMO. Quite the charmer, talked a good game but never followed through. He was also younger than both my FWW and I. Dressed well and had a good job. When the sh#t hit the fan and I gave her the utlimatium, him or me, I honestly thought she would choose him.
ReturnToSender Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I had met the other girl once about a year before they started running around together, and I really dont remember much of her except that she slouched and was really quiet. When I found out she was the one he was cheating on me with, I flipped. Checked out her pics online and theyre all professional for her work, so yeah she looked pretty in all of them. Average height, slender, blonde...not striking or anything but couldnt say anything bad about her looks, plus shes early 20's, 14 years younger than him. Me, Im very tall, black, muscular build in my 30's...at the time this all happened I can say I had put on some weight...like about 25lbs (but but but...he took me out to eat a lot!!! LoL!) *sigh* Personality wise, everything he said he was proud of me for, she is the complete opposite. I work full time, plus run a cpl business' from home, have taken care of myself since I left home at 18. Ill nurse one or two drinks at the bar, have a glass or two of wine with dinner, no drugs, pretty laid back, we argued 3 times in the over 2 years we were together...and all for a very good reason. She....even before I knew they were togther, I heard people say how she had no personality, like you could easily forget she was sitting right next to you. Alcoholic, in and out of rehab, lived with her parents, hot temper, jealous and possessive, huge party girl, belligerent drunk and was high all the time. I was really baffled...still dont get it. I guess he liked the excitement and thrill, like with her being a live wire, you just never knew what the day was going to bring. I dont know. I always did think though, if I were her Id feel pretty insecure, cause he has a ton of magazines that feature black women with big butts, his favorite one is Show mag...hed always say how I should try and model for them (before I gained that weight anyway LoL) and she didnt come close. He also likes the other extreme, very thin european women with distinct features like from Romania or Checksosl..you know what I mean LoL! and she wasnt that either. I recently saw a non-professional pic of her recently...and yeah the drugs and alcohol have taken its toll...she looks far from 23 and close enough to his age (hes 37) that I kinda doubt unless anyone knew her, theyd take notice he was dating someone so much younger than him.. Eh.
carrie999 Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 The man I'm having an affair with isn't necessarily more attractive than my SO. In fact, after our first kiss (after one too many glasses of wine) I was shocked at my behavior...not only because it was (then) so unlike me, but because I never considered him particularly attractive, whereas I was attracted to my SO from day one. Ask me to compare them now, and it's another story. My SO is an athlete who is cute and in incredible shape. OM is also cute in a nerdier kind of way, but unbelievably sexy in his element...rugged and outdoorsy in a way that I never saw him in his "put-together" mode at social events. Looks-wise, there really is no comparison, but they're probably equal. This goes to show that looks don't mean much. It's all in the eye of the beholder, and that shifts depending how well you get to know someone.
juicyfruit62 Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 My MM's wife is a small dark skinned, dark eyed brunette - I'm tall, blue eyed, fair skinned and redhaired - we couldn't be more different really...
2sure Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 I think I was actually more pissed off and offended when I found my H was cheating with women I didnt find attractive. I know its strange...but I felt like "really? this is the best you could do? I am way out of your league". But then I realized he was a predator playing with the vulnerable. They were more open to accepting his nonsense .
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