It hurts so bad..

[Amor23]

My ex broke up with me last Monday. And it hurt because our love was so strong just the week before and everything was perfect. She said that usual, Its not me its you, I just am confused but she "knew the relationship wasn't going to work out"

Ever since she broke up with me I have not contacted her. However every night she calls me and almost every morning as well.. One night she texted me and said "hey" I didnt respond. Then later that same night she said "good night" and I didn't respond.. Then she called me twice, first time I didnt answer second time, I did and sounded like she was in a depressing mood. I asked her what was wrong and she just said she was in a weird mood. But I just continued to try to cut the conversation short by saying I had to take a shower. She did leave a voice mail when I didnt answer saying how "its stupid because she knows were not together, but she just wanted to talk"

Well yesterday she came over to "talk" and to watch a movie. Well, she got here and gave me a big hug, and I told her I missed her, and she said she missed me too. We started watching the movie, (which was the very first movie we saw on our very first date) and she said "its funny you picked this movie, I just watched this yesterday" I asked her why and she said "because she was thinking of me." Well I somehow found myself tickling her, and kissing on her neck and cuddling.. But we never actually kissed. And then all of a sudden she said it was wrong, and that she was going to leave me alone and let me move on, but was crying while doing so.. I told her to kiss me and tell me how it felt, and she did. And she told me that it was like she was just kissing someone she like, vs kissing me and feeling lightheaded and being on top of the world..Some other things were said and I walked her to her car. And she pulled out a 8x10 picture I had developed in a frame. She tired to give it back to me, I said no. Well she said "you see these stain looking marks" I said yeah, She said that those were tears that night after breaking up with me.

 

 

She says she doesn't love me anymore..(reason for leaving me?) but I can definitely still feel the attraction. I don't know what is going on, and just want some insight..It hurts so bad...

 

Also just yesterday I deleted my facebook pictures and she got extremely upset and sent me texts about how I meant nothing to her and she was just like every other girl I dated. And she also got mad about a girl that called me hot a new picture I posted..

 

Im so confused. At one point in time this girl loved me more than anything, and it was even to the point where I knew she would never ever leave. I even took her virginity. Took her to my family reunion 6 states away...and even made her dinner by rose petals everywhere on our half year by candle light...What do I do guys. HELP me! :'(

Edited October 3, 2010 by Amor23

[Billie The Puppet]

Ah all sounds all to familiar to all of us Dumpees.

We can't really help you you have to help yourself. Stick to NC for you to heal.

There are no schemes, tricks, plans, strategies etc to win your ex back it has to happen naturally and for it to happen naturally you both have to be able to move on from this. There are also no guarantees she will be back either that's why it is essential to move on. There is a long road ahead of you right now and I am somewhere on it myself just have yet to find the exit. As for the FB it will happen eventually where she will do the same as you did. I deleted almost all traces of my ex with mine she is only in one album I couldn't bring myself to remove her from. I however Hid the albums from her so she can't see. She has recently done the same to me with the exception of profile pictures which some of them still include me (except the most recent). They may be confused and I do believe confused is a valid reason but they know they are confused enough that ending it is better than staying in it.

 

Good luck and it's only been a week or so you'll do fine but goto NC right away don't prolong this LC like I did.

[Amor23]

Yeah, she did delete the albums of us right after I did.. But she still have the profile pics just like you stated. I'm necessarily trying to win her back, do I want to be back with her? Of course. But the thing that hurts the most is just how quickly it happened. We spent literally every day together, and it was always perfect.

 

Its just like sometimes when she calls me it seems as if she wants to tell me she wants me back, while other times I can just see the cold side of her..

 

Why does she continue to call me?

[Billie The Puppet]

It is a weening process for them using you to get over you. Our brains as dumpees jump to oh it must mean they want to try again. Trust me you are better off going complete NC the moment the break up happens its essentially giving them what they want and thats to be away from you. They will not be able to get their own egos up because they wont know what's going on in your life except through hearsay. I just wished I enter NC sooner than later. You have this chance it will hurt and it will be hard but in the long run it will be better for you.

 

Come on here every time you have the urge to respond to your ex there is a thread in the coping section that is post here instead of contacting your ex use it.

[Ajax]

But the thing that hurts the most is just how quickly it happened. We spent literally every day together, and it was always perfect.

 

 

 

Yep. That seems to be the way things go around here. I for one was also blindsided by the end of my relationship. Came out of nowhere, and no matter how many people tell me there must have been signs, I have yet to identify them.

 

Here's my theory for your situation: you spent too much time together. i know when you're with someone you love you want to spend as much time as possible with them, but it's a relationship killer. You each have to take time for yourselves. Both men and women often feel smothered when they're around their SO all the time. It also kills any mystery about that person, and women love mystery.

 

This is going to be a tough row to hoe for you. Eventually time will make things better, but it's probably going to get worse first. I for one am 6 weeks out of the relationship and about a month of NC and still missing her like crazy. Feel the pain and work through it. Try to reinvent yourself a little bit and get some of your mystery back.

[Amor23]

I dont think we necissarily spent too much time together, but when we did have free time it was always spent together. We go to different schools and both worked. I just really hard to coupe with the fact she's gone. I kind of seen it coming when she started to not call as much/text as much. And when I confronted her bout this, this became our first big fight, then a week later she ended it. And I noticed she started making excuses about why she couldnt come over. Such as not having money for gas.. But this was plausible because her job ended in august.

 

But I did start pushing her away at one point in time, and I started to yell easily and just not care as much as I did. But I came to realilization, and she blamed part of her leaving me on this. But yet she said it was still her, because when I tried to fix things she said that I was being the most amazing boyfriend a girl could possibly ever have, but that "feeling of doubt" she said wouldnt go away. But she couldnt explain to me what the feeling really was, just that it wasnt going away.

 

I love her with all my heart, and I still do. Its going to be so hard to not pick up her phone calls. If she still does call. Because as of right now there hasnt been one night where she hasnt called me. What if she keeps calling and calling?

 

I know I need to go NC...

Edited October 3, 2010 by Amor23

[9Lives]

It is a weening process for them using you to get over you. Our brains as dumpees jump to oh it must mean they want to try again. Trust me you are better off going complete NC the moment the break up happens its essentially giving them what they want and thats to be away from you. They will not be able to get their own egos up because they wont know what's going on in your life except through hearsay. I just wished I enter NC sooner than later. You have this chance it will hurt and it will be hard but in the long run it will be better for you.

 

Come on here every time you have the urge to respond to your ex there is a thread in the coping section that is post here instead of contacting your ex use it.

 

 

I agree 100 percent. you are helping her get over u easily by letting her call u and stuff. she was at your house and didn't say I want to get back together so that is DEFINATE proof that she gaming on you. she broke up with you!!! let her feel the pain of the lost just like u will. right now, she got u by the balls playing footsie. its hard but its all or nothing. your not her little 'ken' doll. cut her off. she aint that confused, she broke up with u

[Amor23]

Its so hard a night guys, its like I'm waiting for her to call me, although I wont answer I feel as if I know she still cares... I didn't remove her off of facebook. But I did make it so I couldn't see her posts on the news feed.

 

I miss her so much...

[Amor23]

She just called again and I didn't answer. It was the hardest thing I think I have ever had to do. Before I was only limiting the contact, to when he called. But now I know I need to go no contact just due to the fact everytime she calls I hope its to reconcile.. But as the days go on it hurts more and more when we dont...

[jms76]

Amor,

 

If she keeps calling, answer and tell her not to call anymore. Tell her you're moving on and her calling is not helping.

 

Good luck.

[skydiveaddict]

She just called again and I didn't answer. It was the hardest thing I think I have ever had to do. Before I was only limiting the contact, to when he called. But now I know I need to go no contact just due to the fact everytime she calls I hope its to reconcile.. But as the days go on it hurts more and more when we dont...

 

 

Just block her # on your phone. You will never get better if you keep allowing her to call you..

[isthmus]

Do yourself a favor and go NC now. Don't do what I did and wait six weeks before realising he was never coming back, even though he showed so many positive signs. It's the best thing you can do for yourself. She's not going to want you back knowing that you're always there waiting for her anyway.

 

Good luck. Know that you're not alone