9Lives Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 tired of living in the past. it has been a long journey and a lot of time. I want to move on. NC is great but rough. if you are really wounded, its the best way to start walking again and get off your knees. it might not hae to be forever but it helps u see and clear your head. bottomline, you can't make a person love you or stay with you. its their choice. what I promise myself is not to be a fool inlove anymore. to trust someone else more than I trust myself. to not ignore red flags for the sake of love. you know you saw red flags. truth is, its our job to build a great life for ourselves..to find things that you love to do & do them. to have faith that everything is going to be fine. its better to move on than to keep hoping. I know for some of you, its a mess, its hard..and your right! but if that person is not giving you GOOD love, then stop it & stop them. the choice is yours. I choose Good love this day. good love to myself and good love for my future. I have had enough.
jayone Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 So true! I always say build your own foundations, be happy with yourself before you bring a partner onto the scene. If you can make yourself happy then a partner is the icing on the cake. I've grew up thinking I "need" a female. I "need" someone about the place. 70% of it is lust and sex. Or just having someone to talk to and keep me company. I'm overcoming my mindset, because my mindset is wrong. You're right. I think a relationship is about respect, understanding, time, love, effort, sharing ... plus more. If you don't have those qualities in a relationship what's the point in settling for second best? I will hold out for that special girl.
carhill Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 Women taught me a lot about moving on. They were great teachers
charliecharlie Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 You're right. I think a relationship is about respect, understanding, time, love, effort, sharing ... plus more. If you don't have those qualities in a relationship what's the point in settling for second best? Jayone, you're so right! This is what a relationship is all about. And it's also about really doing it, make the effort, have the ability to look at things from different perspectives, learn how to communicate with eachother. It may not come at once, but once you get to know eachother and don't cling to much to your own view on how relationships should go, it could open you up to a whole new perspective on love.
Author 9Lives Posted October 3, 2010 Author Posted October 3, 2010 You're right. I think a relationship is about respect, understanding, time, love, effort, sharing ... plus more. If you don't have those qualities in a relationship what's the point in settling for second best? Jayone, you're so right! This is what a relationship is all about. And it's also about really doing it, make the effort, have the ability to look at things from different perspectives, learn how to communicate with eachother. It may not come at once, but once you get to know eachother and don't cling to much to your own view on how relationships should go, it could open you up to a whole new perspective on love. I DISAGREE ... this is what got me in this mess..NOT trusting my own thought process!!! YOU NEED TO BE BUT SO OPEN TO SOMEONE cause people change. I'm not saying go around guarded but u shouldn't get so deep that u can't think straight for yourself. nobody is worth it!
lsb Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 I agree with the original post. You need to trust yourself. You need to follow your gut. And if you have any doubt in your mind - then it most likely will come to an end. Don't ignore the red flags is important. It's one thing if you don't see any - but if you flat out see obvious signs....you should run! It is hard and I am not even sure if I regret getting the experience I did. But I at least now know to ignore red signs. Maybe it is something you need to learn the hard way....
Ajax Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 I agree with the original post. You need to trust yourself. You need to follow your gut. And if you have any doubt in your mind - then it most likely will come to an end. I agree, however... I think some people manufacture their own doubt from having been hurt in the past. I know plenty of people who have ended otherwise great relationships because they were afraid of getting hurt, then turn around and do the same thing with someone else. It becomes a cycle of sabotaging your own relationship. I think having doubts is normal, especially in the begining of a relationship. To be fair to ones self and partner, I think they should at least give it a little time. That's not to say you should ignore red flags, those are obvious. But for doubt that you can't quite put your finger on, give it a little time before bailing.
Author 9Lives Posted October 3, 2010 Author Posted October 3, 2010 I agree, however... I think some people manufacture their own doubt from having been hurt in the past. I know plenty of people who have ended otherwise great relationships because they were afraid of getting hurt, then turn around and do the same thing with someone else. It becomes a cycle of sabotaging your own relationship. I think having doubts is normal, especially in the begining of a relationship. To be fair to ones self and partner, I think they should at least give it a little time. That's not to say you should ignore red flags, those are obvious. But for doubt that you can't quite put your finger on, give it a little time before bailing. yeah, I'm saying blind loe is the road to pain & anguish. You got to leae a little for yourself in a relationship. this person is not God..not perfect. you can do nothing wrong and that person will go side ways on you. I'm not saying pull the plug immediately but if you start seeing things go on that is not good for the relationship, take your heart and put it on the shelf and put your head back on. you know when something is not right with your man or woman. pull back and watch the bullsht! don't be so trusting and caught up that u can't do what is in your best interest when you see the other person handling their business and not making u a priority anymore. that is what u need to be doing! never get caught with your pants down...TWICE!
Recommended Posts