Hhhh Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 (edited) Been broken up for two weeks I called 3 time during those 2 weeks the first she answered but to hard to meet up second no answer and third was no answer after one week of NC I'm wanting to give her a hand written letter saying what I think I should before I leave for the states for a couple of weeks Is it to late to give the letter after 2 weeks? Edited October 3, 2010 by Hhhh
Billie The Puppet Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 Don't send it NC will be easier if you don't plus you don't want her knowing you are leaving.
Author Hhhh Posted October 3, 2010 Author Posted October 3, 2010 Don't send it NC will be easier if you don't plus you don't want her knowing you are leaving. Does it really make a difference? If she knows?
Billie The Puppet Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 Does it really make a difference? If she knows? Not for her but for you it will, I was in limited contact with my ex when I left for 2 weeks she knew where I was going and it took the effect off of her as she knows I was gone. Her not knowing about you and you not knowing about her aids NC, send a letter not only breaks NC but you are also telling her you are not around for this amount of time etc.
Author Hhhh Posted October 3, 2010 Author Posted October 3, 2010 Not for her but for you it will, I was in limited contact with my ex when I left for 2 weeks she knew where I was going and it took the effect off of her as she knows I was gone. Her not knowing about you and you not knowing about her aids NC, send a letter not only breaks NC but you are also telling her you are not around for this amount of time etc. The last time I saw her I was a wreck and if I drop by to say goodbyes to her parents and hand them a letter and tell them I'm leaving for a while i guess it will show I am doing better and moving on... I guess I'm not to sure there are some things I said during the break up that I would want to take back and it's all in the letter
carhill Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 So, if you have regrets about the 'how', mail the letter and continue NC. I can share with you that *none* of the women I've ever been involved with, including my ex-wife, have *ever* expressed regret about *anything* they've ever said or done. Women are great teachers
Author Hhhh Posted October 3, 2010 Author Posted October 3, 2010 So, if you have regrets about the 'how', mail the letter and continue NC. I can share with you that *none* of the women I've ever been involved with, including my ex-wife, have *ever* expressed regret about *anything* they've ever said or done. Women are great teachers Mailing a letter seems like to much these days we have texting emailing.... I also want to say good bye to the parents they have done so much for me
Author Hhhh Posted October 3, 2010 Author Posted October 3, 2010 Waiting on response from Billy the puppet loll
carhill Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 So, say goodbye to and thank the parents in the letter. FWIW, at least in my generation (that would be your parents/grandparents), mailed letters are considered much more personal than e-mails and generally more valued as personal correspondence. If you only knew the parents as a result of the girlfriend, their investment is likely to be quite small, even with their generosity. They more than likely are that way with any of their daughter's boyfriends whom they like. It's an extension of their daughter's 'like'. Nothing more. I know it might seem like it's more, but it really isn't.
Billie The Puppet Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 (edited) I understand wanting to say goodbye to the parents. Understand though it may be a little awkward as they are your ex's parents and should be on your ex's side. I in fact called and wished my ex's father a happy bday and he appreciated it. He also wanted to remain out of the situation but also said he missed having me around. I appreciated such a comment and also made my call about his birthday and respected his decision to stay out of it and remain neutral. I did not discuss things about my ex. This was nearly 2 months ago. As for the letter taking back things you have said or done that's impossible what has been said or done has been said or done. Apologizing or saying you didn't mean it etc will not take back the past. Just move on from the past and live in the present for the future. I still don't think the letter should be delivered and I suppose if you are going to see the parents you'll end up telling them about you going away for a few weeks and this will get to your ex no doubt. It's honestly better to not let them know anything and leave them wondering as you are left wondering. You are using your idea of leaving as ploy to show your ex you are moving on it won't do anything really. Actually moving on with indifference is what you want you don't want to instill a fake moving on into your ex's mind. Edited October 3, 2010 by Billie The Puppet
Ajax Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 Sevral years ago after getting out of a relationship I sent a letter telling that ex how I felt. I got a response in the form of a Christmas card almost a year later, in which she asked to get together sometime. By this time of course I'd already moved on. What caused her to decide she wanted me back after a year I won't know, but she tried a couple more times to meet up, which was became kind of pathetic. So while she tried to come back too late, sending the letter did help me get some closure by getting things off my chest. So I don't think it's necessarily a bad idea if that's your intention. With my most recent ex I've also considered sending a letter. When we were together I wrote her sevral letters, and part of me wants to send another. But I'm not going to because the last time we spoke I poured my heart out and she knows how I feel and what I want. A letter would just be beating a dead horse. If she comes back it has to be on her own. So I think it depends on the circumstances and what you're trying to achieve. On a sidenote, my recent ex lives just a few houses down from where the previous ex used to live when I dated her. They never knew each other, it was pure coincidence. When I was with my recent ex we used to walk by that house the old ex had lived in and I used to think to myself how happy I was to no longer be with her. Maybe someday I'll feel that way about this ex too.
Author Hhhh Posted October 3, 2010 Author Posted October 3, 2010 Sevral years ago after getting out of a relationship I sent a letter telling that ex how I felt. I got a response in the form of a Christmas card almost a year later, in which she asked to get together sometime. By this time of course I'd already moved on. What caused her to decide she wanted me back after a year I won't know, but she tried a couple more times to meet up, which was became kind of pathetic. So while she tried to come back too late, sending the letter did help me get some closure by getting things off my chest. So I don't think it's necessarily a bad idea if that's your intention. With my most recent ex I've also considered sending a letter. When we were together I wrote her sevral letters, and part of me wants to send another. But I'm not going to because the last time we spoke I poured my heart out and she knows how I feel and what I want. A letter would just be beating a dead horse. If she comes back it has to be on her own. So I think it depends on the circumstances and what you're trying to achieve. On a sidenote, my recent ex lives just a few houses down from where the previous ex used to live when I dated her. They never knew each other, it was pure coincidence. When I was with my recent ex we used to walk by that house the old ex had lived in and I used to think to myself how happy I was to no longer be with her. Maybe someday I'll feel that way about this ex too. I was thinking of dropping by and giving it to her parents to give to her because we are young and I want to say my farewells I would give it to her but she dodging me what do you think?
carhill Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 Here's a compromise, since you're 'leaving', presumably permanently. Say goodbye to her parents in person and thank them for their generosity to you. Keep it brief and make no mention of her, only that you are leaving and appreciate the positives they added to your life. Then go. When the young lady answered the phone the first time, but ignored you the second and third, she sent a clear message that, right now, you are not welcomed by her in any way. Respect that. As I said, if you have regrets you need to get off your chest, mail her a letter. Do not involve her parents in that. It's between the two of you.
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