She wants me back?

[Rellek]

Ok so to briefly explain, my ex-girlfriend broke up with me a month ago. I never got a real clear-cut reason as to why, but I believe that she just was seeing qualities in other guys that she liked.

 

Yesterday I ran into my ex girlfriend at a football game. She had definitely been drinking. I waved to say hello and then continued to do my own thing. She then stood by my side essentially demanding my attention for a good 30 minutes. Doing anything she could to have my attention. She was drug away by her roommate and pop kissed me on the cheek before leaving.

 

Later that day she came back to the tailgate and kept sitting beside me and trying to hold my hand. I kept telling her that we had broken up and that I didn't want to walk down this road. Eventually when we were leaving she told me that she wanted to talk tonight. I obliged.

 

Fast forward to that night, we both went to the same birthday party. She pulled me aside and we talked for a good 2 hours straight. She said she has never had doubts about breaking up with anyone until me. She wants to go out on a date with me very badly. I explained that there were reasons we broke up and we would have to address those for there to be any chance. I told her that if this were to even remotely work we would need to start fresh.

 

Any suggestions? I am unsure if this is the best of ideas. She seems very genuinely interested in making this work... but I've read many stories on here that suggest otherwise.

 

Thanks.

[Billie The Puppet]

If you still have feelings go for it, I am not going to be one who negatively looks up on second chances as I am "hoping" one will come to me however I am not living my life expecting one to come. There are cases where they work too we just don't see them often.

 

You are 100% right on discussing what went wrong the first time and if you go for a second chance it has to start fresh and those issues need to be addressed. Was she in the right state of mind when this was brought up? You mentioned she may have been drunk around the beginning of your post but around the end it seems like enough time may ave passed to sober up.

 

If you achieve this do not put all your heart into it.

[Rellek]

She was completely sober the night we spoke at length.

[Billie The Puppet]

Alright then do you want to make if work?

 

If so

 

You have to make sure you have rid yourself of neediness and insecurity, do not ask if she has slept or been with any guy since you it is not of your concern like as if she is a totally new girl to you.

 

Genuinely if she is the dumper and she sought out after you after you going NC with premises to rekindle it means something doesn't mean an easy road ahead but there is now a chance of reconciliation. Don't be to eager to agree but definitely lay down some ground rules. This time it's got to feel like it is on your terms.

[Rellek]

Unfortunately I have a bit of a trust issue with her after our break up. She texted me until very late last night just chit-chatting... so I definitely feel she is interested. I just want to be sure she's not just interested because I've been gone from her life. I don't want her to drop me as soon as we start talking again.

 

She has been talking about things like we will be together. I told her I wanted to go hunting and she said that her dad would love to take me. That would only indicate that we would be together in my eyes.

 

I suppose I'll just take it super slow and see how it goes.

[Billie The Puppet]

You will have to take a chance on trust if you want a chance with her again.

It will be hard though because she left you once already so it may always be on the back of your mind. If it's going to happen you must discuss went went wrong the first time.

[whatadeer26]

My ex and I have been dating again for almost a month. At times it is great and it feels like days of old. Her and I have hung out every weekend night and talked almost every day. She works early on Saturday and Sunday, so it is a lot for her to go out with me both nights

 

There are also times where I feel like she will find someone else, and I dont trust her.

 

It is not going to be easy to regain the trust.

[Billie The Puppet]

My ex and I have been dating again for almost a month. At times it is great and it feels like days of old. Her and I have hung out every weekend night and talked almost every day. She works early on Saturday and Sunday, so it is a lot for her to go out with me both nights

 

There are also times where I feel like she will find someone else, and I dont trust her.

 

It is not going to be easy to regain the trust.

 

How long where you broken up before you got back together? Also if you show signs of you fearing she will leave you again it's a sign of insecurity.

[whatadeer26]

Her and I were broken up for almost 3 months. We randomly ran into each other Labor Day Weekend.

 

I don't think I show signs of insecurity around her. It is just very hard to let your guard down when you are broken up with.

[Rellek]

Update:

 

We met and had something to eat last night. Nothing fancy... we just met to talk about things and what's going on.

 

She told me again that she's just been having doubts about the break up and still thinks about me. She wants to go out on dates and take things "very, very, very slow."

 

At no point was there a statement that she made a mistake, just that she has doubts about breaking up.

 

Other than that it was a very pleasant conversation. She texted me later that night to tell me that she "enjoyed seeing and talking to me :)"

 

I'm unsure how to proceed. I want to try... but I don't want to have to reset if I'm crushed.

 

Is she just trying to reassure herself that she has me by the balls? Could she just be using me to make her guilt feel better?

[Ajax]

Update:

 

We met and had something to eat last night. Nothing fancy... we just met to talk about things and what's going on.

 

She told me again that she's just been having doubts about the break up and still thinks about me. She wants to go out on dates and take things "very, very, very slow."

 

At no point was there a statement that she made a mistake, just that she has doubts about breaking up.

 

Other than that it was a very pleasant conversation. She texted me later that night to tell me that she "enjoyed seeing and talking to me :)"

 

I'm unsure how to proceed. I want to try... but I don't want to have to reset if I'm crushed.

 

Is she just trying to reassure herself that she has me by the balls? Could she just be using me to make her guilt feel better?

 

Maybe she is trying to reassure herself. She might also be trying to reassure herself that she did the right thing by breaking up with you. Either way it sounds like she's trying to keep you on the line without having to put much of herself out there. Tread carefully my friend.

[Rellek]

Well she's suddenly stopped talking to me. Looks like that was the case. Oh well.