nomoredrama86 Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 Hi There Quite a long story but most of it is in short bits. Just looking for a bit of help. just before i start - my ex is the most easily influence person you could ever meet... (i dont know if i am making excuses for him by saying that) We had a few months of problems with me moaning & him being unhappy with the moaning(my contrceptive pill) I change my pill & we worked them out. since then... everything has been fine (to me). i noticed the past 2 weeks he seemed distant and moaning (he is the happiest person ever)- totally not like him. i asked him what was wrong and he said it was work (he sells things in a bank which is hard) so i kinda understood. I said if it had something to do with me/us then i deserved to know, he said no (i may have indicated something is up with us by saying this) i have been trying to cheer him up& other than him being a bit he was changing the subject if i said 'your gorgeous baby' or something joking things have been ok. he came to my house on sunday. He was still down so i said was everything ok - he said yes. I said about him changing the subject and said i felt like he wasnt in love with me anymore (this seems to have been the seed i sewn) monday - i text him a lovely message and he gave a half *rsed reply so i told him he was making me feel uncomfortable and to tell me what was up 'nothing, you need to relax a bit' i asked again 'i'm a bit confused at the minute to be honest. i wanted to give things one more go because i was hoping things would go back to the way they were in my head but not much has changed. i know how much you have been trying and i do appreciate it. and i know i love you,am just not sure am in love the way i was. am sorry xxx' and this then changed to 'i love you but i'm not in love with you xxx' we decided to meet up that night. i said to him i thought all this stress might have made him down and i have planted the seed of doubt in his head and now he has had to say it because i asked him. he said that he thinks when we were having a rough patch, his feeling changed and they haven't gone back... i said that i knew i would have his kids and we would get back together at some point. i said i hope he regretted it because we just have so much fun. he then said (more than 8 times) 'i know am going to regret this' but if i do i will tell you i have made a mistake. then we had a laugh and just had loads of fun talking. we spoke about how good we are together and sex and he said : he said "i wouldn't mind doing that again... maybe in a few months when you can stand to see me...?" me : "i dont know what you mean?" him : "in a few months, if you can stand to see me?" me : "oh erm, i dont think thats for me, i would always want more" we then carried on havng a laugh and a joke. we had a kiss and a hug and we parted ways. then he text saying 'am not going to say goodbye because i hope thats not the last time we speak. so am going to say thanks for everything and speak soon Wink xxx' i text him 'speak soon. love you xxx' then nothing. ------------------------------- Since then I have held off text him. I put a song on facebook and he 'liked' it... that confused me - was it friendship/him wanting contact/ Then I accidently sent a text on Friday (genuine mistake) to which he replied and i said i was sending my wishes as it was a year since his grandad passed away... he said it was nice hearing from me, thanks for asking if he was ok and it really meant a lot. I have also called his mum (he knew i would to say thanks) and we spoke and i learnt that he had not told anybody... i told somebody who told his brother who told his mother. I understand that if he loves me, he will come back and if he doesn't then it was never going to work out. that bit is hard for me. i'm also upset about the sex comment. To me that means he thinks i'm worth nothing more than that. What would you be thinking in my shoes?
jayone Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 Hmmm sounds very fishy. Looks almost like some form of cheating is going on. Maybe he is seeing someone else and he is keeping you hanging incase things with this other person are not what they seem. I don't know. It defiantly seems strange. When I have a rough time with work, I do get snappy with my gf (well, shes my ex now) but I always said sorry for being down and we did something happy together. Work is usually an excuse for hiding something. The same as "oh I just feel sick" or "I have a headache". Why is the breakup such a secret? That's what you need to ask yourself. Something is fishy. Demand an answer to whats going on. You deserve it. Don't hold out for him if he's being an a** about things. You don't deserve to be treated that way. x
Author nomoredrama86 Posted October 3, 2010 Author Posted October 3, 2010 He text me this morning saying it has been harder than he had expected and a lot of things that came from it s that something is wrong, with him mentally/emotionally... he has assured me its not another girl (and as of yet, have no reason to doubt him) but doesnt want to talk about it yet i told him i was here for him but i wouldnt wait around forever
jayone Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 He text me this morning saying it has been harder than he had expected and a lot of things that came from it s that something is wrong, with him mentally/emotionally... he has assured me its not another girl (and as of yet, have no reason to doubt him) but doesnt want to talk about it yet i told him i was here for him but i wouldnt wait around forever I see. It's easy for other people like myself to say leave him, but I know full well how hard a situation can be so I won't even say that. From what you've said you have no reason to suspect cheating. It would probably be wrong to break it off at this stage, but he needs to understand it's wrong for him to hold whatever he is holding back from you because ultimately it's effecting your life. I'm not going to hazard a guess at what hes going through. But you're right, you cannot wait around for him to make a choice. It's not fair on you. I'm going through a bit of a sad spell with my break up. I got to admit though helping others on here is helping loads!
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