My hand written letter to EX? To sappy? Good idea?

[Hhhh]

Hey,

 

You know I'm not good showing my feelings but I guess I can write them down for you to understand

 

I had a lot of time to think about everything from the past few years we knew each other and It was a great few years we shared I guess we just grew apart in some ways, and we can't hold on to each other any longer. I want you to know that I accept your decision to end our relationship together and appreciate everything you have done for me and I will cherish every memory we have created together I can honestly say that the past 3 years was the best time of my life*

 

I also want to apologize for anything I have done wrong by you, It upsets me that I can't keep you happy any longer

 

On the day we broke up I said we can't be friends after this but there was a time you were a big part of my life and my best friend and I hope we can carry on a friendship I know it will be tough but it will get better as we move forward with our lives, if you think that it isn't a great idea I understand*

 

Take care of yourself*

[stoploss11]

Do not send any letters of any kind. File it. They will only end up hurting u more.

[Hhhh]

Was thinking about dropping by her house and giving it to her without saying much even though she's dodging my calls... I'm doing better doesn't really bug me anymore good idea?

[Hhhh]

Do not send any letters of any kind. File it. They will only end up hurting u more.

 

I'm doing better I just never got a chance to say what was on my mind during so that is it doesn't really make a difference if I don't hear from her

[stoploss11]

Of course it matters, because even if youre telling yourself u dont care if she responds, you do. We all do.

[Hhhh]

This is for my closure though that's why I want to send it After I send it I'm going NC and I should be okay I went NC for a week and I called but got no answer so I decided to write down what I was going to say

[Hhhh]

Any other thoughts?

[johan]

Send it if you want to. But if she doesn't respond, that may bother you. And if she does respond, that will definitely set you back. But who has ever gone through a breakup without setbacks? You might as well suffer like everyone else does.

 

If you want closure, you should write yourself a letter instead. You probably have a lot to say.

[Hhhh]

Send it if you want to. But if she doesn't respond, that may bother you. And if she does respond, that will definitely set you back. But who has ever gone through a breakup without setbacks? You might as well suffer like everyone else does.

 

If you want closure, you should write yourself a letter instead. You probably have a lot to say.

 

Thanks a lot for the advice do you think the letter is snappy/needy or is good enough to send?

[stoploss11]

No letter will give you closure, just open more wounds. I guess hte only thing that will give closure in a letter is you doing so or being an ass. Eff you, you dirty ho, i hope u rot. That might give some closure to the relationship. Breakups are closure, even if temporary as some of us hope for.

 

My situation is ambiguous due to no closure and no problems w us. She had 3 huge loses in her life, plus her mother and her baby's father bailing on her all at the same time. She shut down to the world including myself. Looks and acts often like a zombie and appears defeated. I tried talking and writing in this case as well, she wants to struggle on her own.

 

NC for you will bring you greater closure or refresh you or both of you in time. Each wound you open take longer to heal.

[johan]

Thanks a lot for the advice do you think the letter is snappy/needy or is good enough to send?

 

I think it's fine. It's really up to you to judge. Does it say what you want to say, or does it say what you think she wants to hear? I'm guessing the latter, or else you wouldn't be asking if it's worded right. You really want to know how she's going to take it, and no one here can answer that for you.

 

This is why people are advising against sending it. Because no matter what you say or try to make yourself believe, her response matters to you. And there is only the remotest possibility any response or non-response from her is going to make you feel in the least bit good.

[Thorgs]

I don't think it's sappy at all, not any part of it. There's also a lot of grammatical errors too.

[Hhhh]

I don't think it's sappy at all, not any part of it. There's also a lot of grammatical errors too.

 

Yeah I'm working it loll thanks though I also want to add some along these lines if it's a good idea.... "I regret not treating you the way you deserve to be treated" and "I realize now you really appreciate someone until they are gone"

 

What do you think?

[Billie The Puppet]

What do you expect to achieve from this letter?

[Kage111]

I say send it. We learn more from our own mistakes than from people trying to teach us.

 

I sent tons of letter just like this to my ex of four years and all I got out of it was a sore wrist and the loss of any respect she still had for me.

 

But ultimately, I feel better knowing I did everything I could, even if it just pushed her further away, than if I had done nothing and she still never came back.

 

And since I tried so hard to win back my first love, every girl since then has become increasingly easy to make a clean break.

[Hhhh]

She was also my first love and I just don't know how to make all the pain go away I'm doing better but I'm having a hard time letting go of the memories we had together

[flow15]

It is hard, but it does get easier... I've been apart from my ex for 5 weeks now, and havent contacted for 3. He's starting to feel more and more like a stranger, and I'm beginning to think less of the memories we had. Mainly because it's just too painful to think of them, but it is easier now to put them out of my mind.

Just give it time.

[Kage111]

If you notice my join date (Dec 2008), that's about a month after my first serious girlfriend left me.

 

I cried for a month, begged with her, went through denial that we had ever broken up, wrote letters, called her, and did everything I could to try and get her back.

 

Then I joined here and everyone said "NC!! (No contact)" over and over until I finally read what they were writing and not what I wanted to read. And I stopped all contact with her. A few months of silence and she messages me out of the blue saying she "misses me, blah blah blah, wishes we could still be 'friends'" And by then, I still haven't healed, but I know I don't want to be friends, so I ignore it. More silence, (minus a drunken depressing night or two, they're bound to happen throughout the year) and I still get texts on holidays and my birthday from this girl who I never talk to now.

 

I recently got another girlfriend a few months ago. She sees us together and suddenly, it's as if we were old friends, constantly trying to talk to me, see how I'm doing, as if the last year and a half of NC didn't happen. But I was finally happy again with my new gf and I let her know it until she gave up and told me that she was going to go NC, which needless to say, felt great that I did to her what she did to me.

 

...

 

Then of course my new girlfriend cheated on me and dumped me and now I have no one again... but I don't miss either girl because during my NC period I relearned how to live without someone else always beside me.

 

For coping with NC, I suggest working out. I was very thin when my first gf left me, and working out not only gives you a very useful confidence boost, I personally packed on over 30 lbs just hitting the gym everyday.