firered Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Firstly I am sorry that this may be long but I really need some help, I'll start from the start so it actually makes sense. I have this friend who has come to be my best friend, she use to be into drugs some pretty hard stuff, quite a few months ago she promised that she would not do them anymore. Anyway we became really close she would call me every day just to see what I was doing, she would send txt's, invite me round to her house for a drink or just for a chat. And then I made a big mistake and started to fall really hard for her, I kept my feelings to my self, everyone around me kept telling me that she liked me. I see my self as being an average guy, I use to be fat but over christmas I got pretty sick and lost a fair bit of weight, then once I had a head start I kept losing the weight and eventually became quite skinny. Anyway she is gorgeous and older, only by a couple of years. So I never thought that I had a chance, until one night when I had a few drinks I told her that I liked her, and she told me that she only thought of me as a friend and that is how she would like it to stay. I was pretty shattered as I was so sure that she actually liked me but thats life I guess. There was a bit of weirdness for a couple of week but eventually it passed, during that time she moved out of home and went to live with a friend. I know her friend takes pills whenever she goes out, but this girl had told me that she wouldnt do it and I believed her. Eventually she quit her job had a fight with her friend that she lived with stayed back home for a few night and things were pretty much back to normal between us she would ring me 3-4 times a day, we would talk until we both went to bed. I tried to help her find a new job out of the hospatality industry because she didnt want to be in there, I spent hours looking for jobs for her. She was running out of money so she got a job working at a restaurent behind a bar...this is where everything changed. They put her on shifts where she would start at 7am and finish at 1-3 the next morning, this is when she started to do stupid things like driving home drunk, staying back at work to have drinks with her work people. We use to hang out all the time, almost every week but now she never has any time to do anything with me, whilst that does hurt because no one likes being replaced, Im not really worried about it. Im more worried that she is going to get back into the drugs, everyone at her work takes them, she has shown interest in a guy that works there who has also shown interest in her (Which words cant explain how **** that makes me feel) the worst thing is she tells me about it. To be honest since she took up this new job the only thing she focus's on is work, like this week she is working 7 days, from 7am-2am for 3 days, Im really worried she is going to kill her self and Im even more worried that she is going to start taking drugs again. I really need some adivce on what I should do, I care about her too much for me to just stand by and watch, but she is very independent and doesnt really listen to me. I'm sorry this is long but I really cant talk to my family or friends about this because they wouldnt understand.
Not the love ace Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 That's good that you care about her but you have to respect that how she feels for you and secondly, like you said, she is independent and is going to do what she's going to do. You can only be there for her if things go astray because sometimes people have to learn the hard way. If she's working, then that's a good thing, be happy that she's got a job but if she's doing drugs that's her business. You have the right to worry and be concerned as a friend. If anything, talk to her about the drugs (if she is using them) and ask her if everything is okay but don't try and make her feel bad. If you love her, be happy for her even if she's into another guy. It might hurt but think about it, why waste your time being heart broken over someone who doesn't feel the same for you? Just be supportive, at least she's making money and doing something.
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