Weekends Are The Worst

[TheUnthoughtKnown]

I'm lapsing back into the depressive state I was in near the beginning of the break up 6 months on and I'm still here doing this. I'm angry, frustrated, stricken, faithless, an any number of other feelings that are resonating around me at the moment.

 

It seems to be the weekends I feel the worst. Spose that a) I've got work, college, an other things I need to do to keep myself occupied and b) now I don't drink so much, I'm thinking more. Anyone else get that? I mean, I'm so introverted anyway. I think constantly, all the time, and these days solely about her. So without booze, without the nights out that come hand in hand with booze, I feel physically healthier, yeah, but mentally I'm gettin worse. I'm thinkin of her more and more and more and the pressure's getting worse coz it feels like everyday I don't speak to her is another day I get angier with her, and more hatred builds up in me for what I have to suffer for her.

 

These mood swings are a bitch, huh? A few days ago I had myself a lovely day where I hadn't thought bout her much. Today all I could do was think about her. Just couldn't help it. Thinking about all the things I love about her that just made her so perfect to me. The things I don't think I could find in any other girl. Is that stupid to think that way? Why, after 6 months of this sh*t, have I still not learned? I mean, I did, I had a handle on it, but it came back! And now its as bad as it ever was.

 

I need it to go away for good. Does that ever happen? Is that the right question to ask?

 

Man....these weekends are the worst....I hate feeling this way, and knowing I'm sitting here suffering while she is 150% out kissing, probably f*cking other guys by now. I feel like I'm losing my f*cking mind here!!!!

[summerl0vesyou]

hey man...I know how u feel. first of all, im so happy to hear that u arent drinking right now. thats something to be proud of. you are coping on your own, which will work a LOT faster than drowning urself in alcohol...it soothes at the time, but u need to think about her until your heart decides its done, you know?

 

im sorry to hear ur going thru it though. im also around 6 mth mark(since we ended it for good.) it doesnt get a whole lot easier. my ex is just doing his thing, working out to try and make himself look big cuz he feels bad when hes only 150 lbs...but i loved him just the way he was.

he HAD to get to 170. Im sure he has by now.

Im sure hes laughing with friends, having himself a great damn time.

 

So the weekends? yeah they suck. it feels weird and lonely still. i dont have friends really so that makes it worse.

BUT YES. it goes away someday. Ive felt strongly for people in the past and now I can handle seeing them with new people and I dont think back with pain or anything. its fully possible to move on...sometimes it just takes a lot of time and a lot of drive forward. im with you though, keep holding on

[Perhaps]

I understand your pain but you cannot let yourself go. You've proven your strength by giving up alcohol to fend off unproductive thoughts. There's no such thing as unbearable pain. You know you can handle it. And you're gonna come out stronger, more confident and better equipped with knowledge that only experience like this teaches. I suggest you volunteer on weekends. It'll keep you distracted, make you meet new people and keep your mind busy. I think it's an excellent way to work off your introversion. Trust me, being another college student, I know it can get pretty frustrating dealing with school and the inability to focus on important stuff. But remember these are supposed to be the best years of your life. Seriously ask yourself - is this how they should be spent? Don't let yourself be alone. I've done that - lying in bed, staring at the ceiling... all that jazz. You gotta go out and do at least ONE thing to challenge yourself - one thing your weak says it doesn't want to do. That's how you'll build confidence, and chip away at the boulder that's preventing you from moving on.

 

Stay strong.

[RDawg]

Dude, sorry to hear you're still in the grip of it, but you're still so young! Gee man I'm 39years old and this last gf of mine could have been THE ONE. But guess what? It didn't work out. Could I have saved it if I had been more careful? Maybe. You've obviously learnt some lessons which you can apply in the next relationship.

 

So far as the weekends being rubbish - try and line stuff up with friends. Even us introverts have a friend or two, right? Hit the gym. Get out into the fresh air and try to reconnect with the world. Force yourself to approach a random pretty girl - tell her you're freshly broken up and as part of your therapy you are talking to one new cute girl a day and today it's her turn!

 

Well done on the no drinking. I think this is very important - I tend to drink after each failed relationship.I think staying away from booze is some of the best breakup advice. That and an initial period of NC to let your emotions subside.

[BigProc]

Hey dude don't worry, your not on your own. Its been nearly 5 months since my break up and i tell you its been a rollercoaster. Before last week I was thinking i'm finally getting there. The thought of her was not causing the horrible sickness deep in ya stomach. But for the last few days without warning its all come back again. I'v got a very low self esteem as well which is not helping. I know she's moved on and his ****ing another guy. Its just a case of carrying on and hoping the pain goes for good. Its comforting in a strange way that everyone on here is going through the same thing.

[steammachine]

I broke up with my ex 2 weeks ago. Mutual break up, been doing NC so far so good, neither of us have tried to contact each other.

 

The thing is, she has friends whereas I dont(i have a few, but they never want to do anything) and I ****ing hate the weekends now. For example, its a long weekend this weekend(we have monday off) which i'm dreading even more. I just want to go to work and be around people.

 

The first week I was certain she would contact me, but didnt, now I ****ing hope for it, and not because I want to talk to her, but just so I know shes going through the same thing I am. I need to find a weekend job I think. that will help.

[TheUnthoughtKnown]

Thanks guys! It always helps to come onto this site an pour my grief here. Like RDawg said, I'm only young. I just never knew break ups could feel like this. It's crippling in a way and I guess I'm still in shock sometimes when I think about it. It's crazy that we should be so hung up on one person, huh?

 

I hope I'll be okay, soon. I'm working my way there. I've shifted to anger as I write this. I'm furious at her again, and I hope I never have to see or speak to her again, despite our families being quite close. I'll just never forgive her for destroying my trust so willfully and casually...

 

Anyways, thanks again, guys! Feeling a little bit better today. I'll update soon!!

[benB]

I can relate to a lot in this thread, Each day that goes by I build up more and more hate for my ex. I have been NC for a week but broken up for almost 2 months. We go to the same school and while she is drinking and partying I am sad and lonely. I don't have many friends and the ones I do have are shared with her so I don't really want to go out with them because my ex will def be there. This is her birthday weekend and I know she is sharing it with another guy. So yes, weekends really suck for me as well. You are not alone man.

[EricaH329]

First, i'd like to say congrats on cutting back with the drinking!! Many people use that as an 'escape' route. Which you have so conveniently pointed out Without drinking as much, your mind is much more clear, and you do tend to think about more things.

 

That being said, you are thinking about all the wrong things.

 

I mean, I did, I had a handle on it, but it came back! And now its as bad as it ever was.

 

It didn't just come back. You allowed yourself to be consumed with thoughts of her. If I lived my life thinking about a family member or friend who passed away, I wouldn't be happy at all. I'd constantly be miserable, sad, depressed, upset. But when people die, you allow yourself the chance to grieve, and then you move on. That doesn't mean you never loved them, or still don't love them, it just means you are ready to move on with your life.

 

I need it to go away for good. Does that ever happen? Is that the right question to ask?

 

Yes, it does go away, when you allow it to. I think the correct question would be: When are you going to allow yourself the freedom to focus on yourself and look towards the future instead of the past?

 

I understand your pain. I think we all do. But after the deed is done, and we are left to wallow in our misery, we pick ourselves up by the boot straps and move forward. Let yourself move on. Let yourself be happy.

[TheUnthoughtKnown]

I understand your pain. I think we all do. But after the deed is done, and we are left to wallow in our misery, we pick ourselves up by the boot straps and move forward. Let yourself move on. Let yourself be happy.

 

Thanks, Erica I will continue trying to move and see if I can be as happy as I used to be. At least thats the weekend over with now. I've got 5 days to prepare for next weekend, now. Maybe as each weekend goes by it'll get a little easier for me to deal with it.

[leftfield]

Can I join your 'I hate the f*cking weekends' club? I'm experiencing all the same painful feelings. It's been three months since my breakup and I too feel angry, frustrated and stricken (good word!).

 

I've spent most of the evening trying to stop my mind wondering how she could just move on so easily? Did she ever really care? Is there something wrong with me for STILL being hung up on this girl? I suppose coming here at least reassures me that I'm not the only one that feels this way.

 

It is weird how it just seems to consume you sometimes. I was determined to have a good day yesterday so I tried to be really positive, went for lunch with a friend, kept myself busy all day and was conscious of not letting my mind wander to her, but still, by the end of the day I felt deflated, miserable and lonely.

 

I don't know if it goes away for good, but I'm assuming it has to eventually. Surely? I hope it does for all our sakes. Good luck pal, take care of yourself, keep posting.

[TheUnthoughtKnown]

Can I join your 'I hate the f*cking weekends' club? I'm experiencing all the same painful feelings. It's been three months since my breakup and I too feel angry, frustrated and stricken (good word!).

 

I've spent most of the evening trying to stop my mind wondering how she could just move on so easily? Did she ever really care? Is there something wrong with me for STILL being hung up on this girl? I suppose coming here at least reassures me that I'm not the only one that feels this way.

 

It is weird how it just seems to consume you sometimes. I was determined to have a good day yesterday so I tried to be really positive, went for lunch with a friend, kept myself busy all day and was conscious of not letting my mind wander to her, but still, by the end of the day I felt deflated, miserable and lonely.

 

I don't know if it goes away for good, but I'm assuming it has to eventually. Surely? I hope it does for all our sakes. Good luck pal, take care of yourself, keep posting.

 

Cheers mate! Hope everyone's doing well and keeping afloat! I know what you mean Leftfield, there's days it can just totally consume your every thought! I still think bout her everyday! Just, when I'm kept busy, she's in the back of my mind, instead of the weekends, where's she's foremost in my mind.

 

As for those questions you've been asking yourself, feel free to join the club. I ask myself those every single f*ckin day now. An I'm dying for those answers, but who's ever gonna tell us? And would we even be happy if we found out? Here's hoping everyone here finds peace, huh? And maybe the weekends will start to be about having fun again...