Does a break up make them see the light? Share your stories if it does/doesn't!

[MissVegas]

I'll try to make this short. I broke up with my boyfriend. Not because I did not love him more than anything in this world and will always love him but due to the fact in the four years we were together he was constantly going out drinking with single friends without me, made no attempt to ask me to marry him or move in, did not try hard at all to make me feel special, never invited me out with his friends, called me names when we fought etc etc. On the other hand I was always there for him, his family, always trying to show him I loved him, loyal to him, giving him 646936447 chances. I never stuck true to my day long break ups so I think he never believed I would ever leave.

 

My boyfriend and I did have good times and WERE in love and he didn't want to break up, vacations went well, he treated me well most of the time, but it was the once a month that his actions/ words/ neglect shocked the hell out of me that left me with such a bad taste in my mouth. Jekyll and Hyde type thing.

 

Last week he went out with his friends I asked to come and he said maybe but "didn't know the plan", I called him a few times with no answer to see if I could come before deciding to stay at work for overtime *i work on an adult psych inpatient unit* after that later on I got attacked by a patient and hit my head really hard on the ground when pushed and my manager decided i shouldn't drive home alone or go home alone, i tried to call him like 15x with no avail because my parents weren't available and just wanted to go home and he sent me a nasty text the next day because i called him when he was out with his friends and said he purposely ignored my calls. Hence the break up.

 

For now I'm just focusing on me and finishing my last semester of nursing school, spending time with family and friends and I'm doing okay, but I know I'll always love him.

 

 

So question is. Does breaking up ever make them see the light and change? I've heard success stories amongst people I know where I live but I was wondering what you guys think and if you've had any please share

[Billie The Puppet]

Honestly it has made me see the light in some aspects but my ex doesn't want me back so I'll just have to apply it to my next relationship but I am not ready for one at this time. My recent dates show this.

[Ajax]

I've seen it happen sometimes, but not always. Much more often I've seen friends promise to change for their ex, only to fall back into their old routines after they get back together.

 

Your boyfriend definately has some growing up to do. Ignoring your calls like that and then getting upset with you is uncalled for. You did the right thing by ending it. Maybe he'll see the light.

 

Good luck finishing nursing school. My ex just finished nursing school and I know how much work it is.

[Billie The Puppet]

Also may I add that sometimes the lazy routine happens for a reason, My ex hates being kept in always in front of the tube etc, She always likes to be doing something and with neither of us being able to drive legally it made us rely on her sister and sister's fiancé for rides or public transportation. To be honest we we were out doing stuff we obviously had more fun but were spending way to much that we wouldn't be able to have a future. So I settled into a lazy routine in which I tried to explain to her that we cant be spending as much as we are and have to save if we want a future together. Bam relationship got boring to her so she ended it. Saying she doesn't want to be tied down but would still like to get married and have kids someday. (Why bother telling me this it was like a knife to the heart because it means with some one else)

 

Funny, now I own a vehicle and can legally drive with a fully licensed passenger (Ontario's Learners permit). Also my credit has skyrocketed (I got line of credit from my bank that is pretty significant) plus a high credit score. This practically in the same time since I have been in NC with my ex. Though the vehicle I am sure she knows about because it's on FB etc.

 

See I was in a lazy routine but it seemed like everything in the relationship was on me. Sometimes communication helps. Tell us if we are too clingy, tell us if you want a girls weekend etc. See I got into a routine at that may have bore her. I would be over on weekends almost every weekend. To me it wasn't much I mean 2 days a week to see the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I didn't even get the opportunity to live with her. It's funny because she wanted us to both move out of our parents home and me being realistic said let's save because she was given a few years from her mom and my father being Italian would keep me at home as long as possible besides I am all he has left really. I told her she can move in with my father and I and we could save to buy a house rather than rent. (I hate the idea of dishing out money and have nothing to show for it) Now look, my credit would have helped that situation.

 

Basically I have been doing the stuff that would have benefited "US" since she broke up with me but adding to that NC so she doesn't know of it from me.

 

So I have seen the light.

 

Only can hope she will one day see that I have seen it.

[PixieStix]

Actually, with an ex I broke up with about 7 years ago, I think what I had to say when I broke it off made him see the light. He and I are finally in contact again and have put the past behind us and are friends. There were many mistakes he made as far as breaking my trust and not working on the relationship which was imperative with him being in DC and me being in FL at the time. So yes, I think they can learn from their mistakes if they want to.

 

There have been several times he has mentioned that being the biggest mistake of his life and still regrets the things he did and has learned from it to better his current relationships. Then again, I have had exes who didn't learn a thing and jumped right into the next relationship and never looked back and made the same mistakes over and over and never cared one way or the other.

 

So I suppose it's a toss up!