MissVegas Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 I'll try to make this short. I broke up with my boyfriend. Not because I did not love him more than anything in this world and will always love him but due to the fact in the four years we were together he was constantly going out drinking with single friends without me, made no attempt to ask me to marry him or move in, did not try hard at all to make me feel special, never invited me out with his friends, called me names when we fought etc etc. On the other hand I was always there for him, his family, always trying to show him I loved him, loyal to him, giving him 646936447 chances. I never stuck true to my day long break ups so I think he never believed I would ever leave. My boyfriend and I did have good times and WERE in love and he didn't want to break up, vacations went well, he treated me well most of the time, but it was the once a month that his actions/ words/ neglect shocked the hell out of me that left me with such a bad taste in my mouth. Jekyll and Hyde type thing. Last week he went out with his friends I asked to come and he said maybe but "didn't know the plan", I called him a few times with no answer to see if I could come before deciding to stay at work for overtime *i work on an adult psych inpatient unit* after that later on I got attacked by a patient and hit my head really hard on the ground when pushed and my manager decided i shouldn't drive home alone or go home alone, i tried to call him like 15x with no avail because my parents weren't available and just wanted to go home and he sent me a nasty text the next day because i called him when he was out with his friends and said he purposely ignored my calls. Hence the break up. For now I'm just focusing on me and finishing my last semester of nursing school, spending time with family and friends and I'm doing okay, but I know I'll always love him. So question is. Does breaking up ever make them see the light and change? I've heard success stories amongst people I know where I live but I was wondering what you guys think and if you've had any please share
Confused by Love Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 This indeed is unfortunate. I'm sorry. While breakups technically can make them see the light, it's usually in much more mild situations. This guy Sounds along the lines of a narcissist. Never cared about your feelings overall it seems. Or at least he made his the ultimate priority. In my opinion, you're better off now. There are guys who will treat you with much more respect and love than that.
jeff2321 Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 Some guys do after a post break up. My ex dumping me nearly two months ago has rocked me emotionally and has caused me to see the error of my ways. I'm a changed person because of it and plagued with lots of regret about the way I acted toward her. I'd give anything if she would come back to me, but she won't. She is done and probably already moved on and dating someone else. I had to go NC with her because it was just killing me. Never in my life did I think I'd be going through so much pain. The pain I'm feeling is the worst kind of pain I've ever been through and it's not letting up. It's been about 6-8 weeks since the breakup and I'm still not doing very well. I'm a wreck 24/7 and barely functional. I'm surprised I even have a job right now... My point of this entire rant is that in some very rare cases a guy will realize things he has done wrong, but usually we realize it WAY TO LATE after the damage has already been done and the relationship is past the point of being salvaged. Just my .02 and me trying to express my pain and regret. Jeff
Author MissVegas Posted October 1, 2010 Author Posted October 1, 2010 Jeff How long after did it actually hit you that it was serious and you weren't treating her properly? Was it immediate or did it take some time?
isthmus Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 I am another dumpee who has 'seen the light' post break up. Even though we constantly fought and had 'day long' break ups (with both of us initiating), once I realised it was for real, it took me about 2 days to realise that it was me who pushed him away with how I treated him. I think the only thing worse than the heartbreak of being broken up with, is the guilt and regret of knowing it was something you could've prevented.
Trovador Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 It seems dumpees change more than dumpers... I guess everyone tries to change a bit to please their partners, for example my ex accused me of being a cry baby, point taken, I improved myself in that area... but when it was her turn to change something that bothered me she didn´t... What I intend to say is some people won't change, even if they love you (or think they do)... selfish people doesn't change, ever...
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