reesek Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 my fiance and i are in love and we have decided to get married. recently, i asked him about his past. and when i found out the amount of girls he's slept with, i got a shock i couldn't believe. i knew he paid people to sleep with him, but when i found out there were many other girls he slept with that he didnt pay (cos he used to be really popular in school and many girls threw themselves at him). but now he's changed and he is serious about us. but i cant seem to get over it. i believe before me, there have been at least 50 others. whenever i've nothing on my mind, i start thinking and i can't stop crying. i know if i don't get help, sooner or later i'll go crazy thinking about it.
quankanne Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 get yourself into counseling, and postpone the wedding until you've got a good handle on how you feel, because otherwise you're going to start what could otherwise be a happy relationship with a HUGE dark cloud hanging over your head ... a bit of advice: Never, ever ask a question about something you're not sure whose answer you're going to like. Better off being ignorant about some things than torture yourself over something that has nothing whatsoever to do with you, nor that you can be able to change ...
Author reesek Posted October 2, 2010 Author Posted October 2, 2010 Thanks.. Unfortunately I already asked everything about his past n I wish I never did. I'm sure I want to b w him but it hurts whenever we're intimate cos I see the many other girls tt he did with. N it's not just a few one night stands in the heat of the moment. It's a huge amount. I'm not sure how to get over it n move on
amerikajin Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Postpone the wedding. You don't want to go into marriage with doubts. These things can be worked out, but you probably need more time to be sure about who he is. He might get upset but he should understand.
Angel1111 Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 That is a LOT of women to have slept with. It would totally creep me out. I don't think I'd want to marry someone like this because it's says a lot about his character -- that he doesn't give any thought to who he sleeps with, that he has very little discretion, and very little self-control. He isn't marriage material. My thoughts are that if you marry him, he may be ok for the first few years but when he gets bored, he'll start missing his days of indescriminate sex. Even though you don't like knowing this information about him, it's good that you found out now because it would horrible to be blindsided by this after marriage. I personally would never trust a guy like this. You need to think about this very hard and don't ignore your gut feelings. You're not being unreasonable and you don't need help - he does.
carhill Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Age, time together and time engaged? If you've been sexually active with others, how do you feel about that, now that you're engaged to marry him? Before this revelation, how was your intimacy and lovemaking with him? Satisfying? Ambivalent? What? Welcome to LS
Lauriebell82 Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 Hmm, that's a lot of girls to to have slept with. Have you or he ever gotten an STD test? Has he always used protection? That being said, I do know of some "players" who have gotten over their bad boy phase and settled down. So it's possible that he HAS changed, but I can understand why that would still bother you. Have you spoken with him about your feelings? I would suggest counseling as well, but I think you need to go straight to the source and speak to him as well about it. If he really does love you then he will do what he can to make you feel better.
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