tinybear5 Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 does anybody think it could still be effective to try NC now? yesterday marked one month that we have been broken up. Throughout that whole month we have communicated everyday . .he is the dumper and wants to try and be friends..umm we dated for 3 yrs and u were my first love i dont want to be friends, i wanna make it work ! anyway so HE wants to try and be friends...yet he got SO aggravated when i went out last night and wasnt responding to any of his texts/calls.... at this point i feel like i have accepted the breakup. I feel more in a "whatever happens happens" place...But, Does anybody think that going NC with him now, a month later could still be effective?
durkadurka Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 does anybody think it could still be effective to try NC now? yesterday marked one month that we have been broken up. Throughout that whole month we have communicated everyday . .he is the dumper and wants to try and be friends..umm we dated for 3 yrs and u were my first love i dont want to be friends, i wanna make it work ! anyway so HE wants to try and be friends...yet he got SO aggravated when i went out last night and wasnt responding to any of his texts/calls.... at this point i feel like i have accepted the breakup. I feel more in a "whatever happens happens" place...But, Does anybody think that going NC with him now, a month later could still be effective? Effective to what ends? It takes two people to make stuff want to work and if you guys can't both lay it down it probably means neither of you are mature enough to make it happen. That's not a slight towards you but from my experience, when girls want a relationship to work, they want to see a guy make a solid move to get it started again. Guy's (despite the fact that women think we're hard asses) won't make a move unless we observe a crack in the door that might allow it to succeed. In the end neither really makes a move. No contact probably won't work from experience, because if you don't talk to them, they have the opportunity to make new memories, that don't include you, so it pushes you out of their mind. I've found a new appreciate for the saying 'out of sight, out of mind'.
Billie The Puppet Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 NC is for you to heal, accepting the break up doesn't mean you are fully healed. Will it be effective perhaps in time it will. Effective doesn't mean, your ex will come crawling back. Effective means you are able to move on. I myself have gone NC 1 month after the break up and have done so so far as 1 month. It only reassures me the ex is not coming back as she has done the nc for as long as I have. If you are comfortable being friends continue to do what you are doing but understand that this so called friend position is on your ex's terms and is by no means true friendship.
Ajax Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 does anybody think it could still be effective to try NC now? yesterday marked one month that we have been broken up. Throughout that whole month we have communicated everyday . .he is the dumper and wants to try and be friends..umm we dated for 3 yrs and u were my first love i dont want to be friends, i wanna make it work ! anyway so HE wants to try and be friends...yet he got SO aggravated when i went out last night and wasnt responding to any of his texts/calls.... at this point i feel like i have accepted the breakup. I feel more in a "whatever happens happens" place...But, Does anybody think that going NC with him now, a month later could still be effective? Your ex seems pretty committed to the breakup. At this point keeping in contact with him will only serve to hurt you more. Being friends with him isn't what you want, so don't settle for anything less than what you had. And NC won't get him back. Like Billie, I've been NC for about a month now and figure since my ex hasn't tried to talk to me it means she's dunzo with me. I see NC as the lesser of two evils. It hurts, but if I talk to her and she doesn't want me back then the wounds reopen and it will hurt more.
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