SophieA Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 Why do men who are in healthy, happy relationships with extremely attractive women still oogle other women and make comments about sleeping with them?
austyre Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 maybe their not in a perfect relationship if there is such a thing they keep oogle other woman for sex:cool:
ComeUndone Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 Why do men who are in healthy, happy relationships with extremely attractive women still oogle other women and make comments about sleeping with them? Yeah I wonder this too. I sometimes think that men aren't cut out for monogamy no matter how perfect their relationship. At the very least they're undressing other women with their eyes and imagining different sex acts with them... kind-of insulting even if they're not physically doing it.
Author SophieA Posted October 1, 2010 Author Posted October 1, 2010 I can completely understand if someone is unhappy or not getting what they need from their relationship. But...if everything is pretty much great...I just don't get it. I wish a man LSer would just explain it to me. I truly want to understand.
2sure Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 If they are oogling other women and commenting to their wife or girlfriend about sleeping with these other women... I'd say : He is more into the other women than who he is with or at the very least he has absolutely no respect for the woman he is with. Rather than ask why he does that, I would ask a woman why on earth she would be with a man who does that to her.
austyre Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 I can completely understand if someone is unhappy or not getting what they need from their relationship. But...if everything is pretty much great...I just don't get it. I wish a man LSer would just explain it to me. I truly want to understand. I once explained to my wife men tend to think of sex quite alot especially where I work its on the brains24/7 I think however it must be a "natural" thing for men to want/desire more than 1woman does it make it right I don't know, for myself its about not letting nature overule my identity(who I am)yea do I sleaze over woman I try not to is as honest answer I gave too my wife with I am not perfect(I don't expect her to be either):)
carhill Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 Generally, IME, extremely attractive women choose extremely attractive men and such men historically have always had substantial options and are of the mindset to continually review (ogle) those options as a function of their socialization. They do it because they can and are successful as a result. It's can be considered classical auto-conditioning, in the spirit of Ivan Pavlov's experiments with dogs. The same opinion pertains to their 'talking about sleeping' with said women. They have been conditioned by past success to understand that they can verbalize such things and, if the extremely attractive woman leaves, she is replaced by another extremely attractive women, perhaps the one he is ogling and making comments about. Life goes on
Dexter Morgan Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 Why do men who are in healthy, happy relationships with extremely attractive women still oogle other women and make comments about sleeping with them? dunno, I was wondering the same thing about all the women I have ever been with that felt the need to let me know how hot other guys are.
carhill Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 Yep, exW did the same thing, usually with the ones half her age. I remember one occasion when we were out on my birthday.....
Dexter Morgan Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 Ok here is one thing I don't get, whether it be a man or woman, what is it about people that feel the need to shove the attractiveness of someone else, or how hot someone is, in the face of their SO? Do they think we are looking forward to hearing things like that? I'm not a jealous guy and have had gf's do this before....but only after it is done time after time do I say anything and I will usually say, "well if he is so hot, go after him". Do they really think we want to hear it? I'd expect to get slapped in the face if I constantly told a gf of mine how hot other women are. We all will find someone else attractive, but geez...those of us that respect our SO's will keep it to ourselves.
carhill Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 Ego validation and a 'hurt' button to push, perhaps.... More insidiously, detachment and investment in another, and the commentary is designed to push away/distance. I'll never really know which but, regardless, life is healthier now.
karnak Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 (edited) More insidiously, detachment and investment in another, and the commentary is designed to push away/distance . I think you've hit the mark there. I think many times women try to "insult" or annoy their men in order to provoke a negative reaction and force a break-up. That way they can save face and say that the separation was the man's fault instead of hers. I suspect many affairs happen because of this. It's a sort of "machiavellic" trick to provoke the collapse of the relationship. Edited October 1, 2010 by karnak
MichiganMan222 Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 I agree with Dexter than the disrespect comes by talking about it because we can actually control that. I can't ever promise that I won't get naughty thoughts in my head at the sight of a very sexy woman, but I can promise 100% that I won't turn to my wife and say, "Damn, I'd like to break my dick off in that ass!" Hell, the other day I was saying how pretty Katherine Heigl was and my wife got SUPER PISSED! A freakin movie star is even off limits.
painfullyobvious Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 Ego validation and a 'hurt' button to push, perhaps.... More insidiously, detachment and investment in another, and the commentary is designed to push away/distance. I'll never really know which but, regardless, life is healthier now. I think individuals who do this are immature and trying to get a jealous reaction from their SO. They want to see the appearance of being needed and seeing a jealous and sometimes fearful reaction from their SO show them that their significant other care for them. It is really chuildish and immature. This is usually a sign that there are many more head games to come in the relationship from my experience
carhill Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 This is usually a sign that there are many more head games to come in the relationship from my experience I would agree with this and, within some psychological dynamics, it works like gangbusters. I've literally been an observer of such dynamics in a few relationships (not my own, but those of friends) and watched the behaviors and heard the words. With certain women's psychologies, the 'look' and the 'I've got options', works to keep that drama edge alive in the relationship. Prior to being married myself, I always thought I lacked in that department, not knowing how to 'keep the spark alive'. Now, I know that kind of spark isn't anything I wish to have contact with and avoid women who require it to maintain attraction. Regretfully, this does leave out *some* attractive women my age due to their life-long immersion in the dynamic. The good news for them is there are apparently still plenty of men willing and able to indulge that need/desire/attraction. It all works out
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