My long time friend has feelings

[tonyp56]

OK, long story short, she met and married my childhood friend in 1998. I always had feelings for her from the first time I met her, but kept them to myself, until two years ago. After her and husband divorced five years ago, we started becoming really good friends, talking and hanging out more and more. After I was single, it became more like best friends. Finally built up courage to tell her how I felt. At the time, she said I wasn't her type, that she didn't love me that "way". We still remained good friends, spending even more time together. However, I was afraid to push it because I didn't want to drive the only friend I had, my best friend away. Always felt like she did like me, and that she was sending me signals, but like I said, couldn't stand the thought of pushing her away. (not to mention she said she didn't feel that way)

 

I met someone else in early 2008 (not too long after confessing my feelings for my friend), and me and my friend still remained friends, but time together became less and less. My current relationship has never been that wonderful, I am a fool and rushed out with the first one I met because I didn't want to be alone. My long time friend, was NEVER a issue. My GF's and I's problems stem from many other things.

 

My feelings remained for her (Friend), but figured might as well go on because I was rejected. However, two nights ago, after a brief visit with my friend, I went to hug her good bye, when she kissed me, on the lips. Then said she's waited a long time to do that. And then kissed me again and again. And, you get the picture. NOTHING happened except kissing. I asked "what does this mean?" and she could only answer "I don't know." I left saying goodbye, and everything ok between us.

 

Last night went and talked to her (TALKED) about it. She said that she started thinking about it after I told her how I felt. She didn't know that she had those feelings for me. And that she knows I'm not happy and she wants me and HER to be happy.

 

I feel like I'm in a dream. The girl that I have wanted to be with for a very long time, feels the same way, even if it took her awhile to see that. I need some advice, to keep my head on my shoulders.

 

I know technically I've cheated already. However, I'm going to make a pac that nothing will happen between us until things are over with my GF. Two reasons, to show friend I'm not cheating type and two, I really am not the cheating type.

 

How do I do this without making friend think I don't want her? How do I not run to her every second and share the passion with her without hurting her? How do I deal with current GF, I'm not happy with or without my friend in the picture, except that I have always wanted her, I've given GF every chance and our relationship every chance to work. My family sees and has seen that I'm not happy, my friend sees it, etc...

 

What is something I can say? To make it easier... On my current GF, my friend and myself.

 

Thanks

[fltc]

Any reason you can't dump current GF? Just tell her things aren't working and you want out.