miserable today! don't seem like I can get my life together again

[9Lives]

I just don't know. I hope I'm being human and this is just a phase or something. I just don't seem like myself. I still miss my ex a lot and wonder what he is doing. of course I'm not gonna call him or anything but my heart still yearns for him. I wish it would stop. I'm dating and stuff. not sitting around the house mopping but I still miss him so much.

 

some people believe I need to meet someone I like to get over it. I don't know if that is true or not. shouldn't hae to be that way.

 

when you love someone with all your heart, I think it makes it harder to move on. its like you are getting out, doing life and all that jazz but your inner being still wants that person. I don't want to be this weak over ONE person. its stupid! but I cant help how I feel. I just hae to keep my life moving and hopefully soon I won't have days like this. UGH!

[Fouts]

Ya, it's normal. Time does heal all wounds, but unfortunately that's what it takes; time. Stay busy and keep your mind occupied, that's the best way to keep moving forward.

[9Lives]

Ya, it's normal. Time does heal all wounds, but unfortunately that's what it takes; time. Stay busy and keep your mind occupied, that's the best way to keep moving forward.

 

 

so do you think the more you loed that person, the harder it is to get over them? do u think u really need to get with someone to get over that person. I don't really want to do it that way. I'm want to be happy with myself not because someone in my life is making me a happy person again. what do u think?

[Trovador]

I've had the chance to get involved with other girls but it doesn't feel right, heck, I had a short LDR with a very pretty woman and realized that she was living the same experience I was living with my ex, that is she expected I called her or mailed her and hoped from me the same I hoped from my ex... it was insane...

 

Take in mind I don't love my ex (not like before anyway) and I really don't want her back, so if you still love your ex you'll find hard to get over him with the help of another guy imo... besides, those people deserve better than a half attempt at a relationship...

[Fouts]

so do you think the more you loed that person, the harder it is to get over them? do u think u really need to get with someone to get over that person. I don't really want to do it that way. I'm want to be happy with myself not because someone in my life is making me a happy person again. what do u think?

 

Of course the more you loved someone, the harder it hurts. Just keep in mind that if it's him who broke up with you, that he doesn't want you in his life anymore. Every time you think of him, think of that. At some point your ego will kick in and you'll get sick of thinking fondly about someone who doesn't want you or truly love you.

 

I don't think there's any set way to get over someone. I don't recommend rushing into an unwanted rebound relationship just not to be alone. But keep in mind it DOES take moving on; meeting new people, having new relationships, lovers etc., evolving. Life doesn't stop and most normal people strive to have a love relationship, right?

 

It sounds like you're doing the right thing. Keep moving forward and being yourself !

[skydiveaddict]

when you love someone with all your heart, I think it makes it harder to move on. its like you are getting out, doing life and all that jazz but your inner being still wants that person. !

 

 

Yes It does make it harder to move on. At times it seems impossible (for me at least). I Still want that special person too. I guess we just have to be strong and hope that time will heal our wounds

[BigProc]

I feel for you 9. I'v had a few serious relationships, but this one is taking some getting over because i loved her so much. Its been nearly 5 months now and the pain is still raw. I still have the horrible dreams where we are back together and i wake up next moring to realise thats not the case. Silly things still remind me of her, like the weather believe it or not. I compare now to this time last year and think what we would have been doing. Its just a case of trying to get on with our lives and hoping and praying the pain will go away. Like you i have been dating but nothing seems to be easing the pain at the mo.

[Ajax]

I think we all set expectations for ourselves as to how long it "should" take us to get over someone. I thought by now I'd be doing much better than I am. I make some progress and then backslide. Repeat process. Maybe we shouldn't even be "trying" to get over them. That would mean we have to think about getting over them and have to "think" about not thinking about them. Maybe we need to feel the pain for a while longer.

[femaletroubles]

I think we have a tendency to remember the good times, while forgetting the bad ones. My last long term relationship ended, as poorly as could be. With police responding to domestic violence (i stood there, will never hit a women...ever). When i remember everything, that memory of how things played out is hazy, while the mornings waking up with her in my arms, or giving her a massage while she drifts off to sleep are crystal clear

 

You need to remember the hurt, pain, and moments when you knew that person wasn't for you (like when then text other guys while with you...)

 

Just try to think about all the negative things that you're forgetting, and you'll remember you deserve someone who makes you feel special ALL the time, and in their eyes you are their world.

[9Lives]

Everybody on here is right. For one, we do need to remember the pain this person brought into our live. My problem is that I let my love get too deep for this person. It is DEEP!!! I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. He said we have a bond that cant be broken then he broke it!!!

He was everything I wanted in a man..the good and bad. I just let myself love him with my all. I dont want to do this again. That is why this is so hard. I never stop loving him.

 

Im not trying to get over him per say. Im just trying to move on with my life but he keeps popping up in my existence. Its tough but i know I will make it thru..Just how things go sometimes suck!

[whichwayisup]

You loved this guy and it's going to take time to work through the pain and getting over him, letting your heart heal. It hurts, but I promise you, it will get better as time goes on.. As cliche as it is, that saying, time heals all wounds...Is true! Don't beat yourself up over having afew bad days here and there. Just know the better and happier days are yet to come. When you DO have a good day, enjoy it and take advantage of how you feel!

[Confused9]

Hang in there. It's hard to get over a lost love. Things will get easier. I sat in your seat a few years ago and was devastated beyond believe. But, I am very happy now. You will and can get through this.

 

I wouldn't rush in to a relationship too fast. It took me two years to start dating again. I just wasn't ready and when you aren't ready it's not really going to anyone any good because you could hurt the other person or yourself more.

 

Hang in there...

[Trovador]

Sometimes I think that even being on this forum helps to perpetuate the memories of our exes in our hearts... perhaps we are overrating our exes anytime we post or read a message...

 

But then I realized I'm healing with just talking to you guys...

[9Lives]

You loved this guy and it's going to take time to work through the pain and getting over him, letting your heart heal. It hurts, but I promise you, it will get better as time goes on.. As cliche as it is, that saying, time heals all wounds...Is true! Don't beat yourself up over having afew bad days here and there. Just know the better and happier days are yet to come. When you DO have a good day, enjoy it and take advantage of how you feel!

 

hey, where have you been???? Whichwayisup is a LIFER ON LS! LOL. good to hear from you. Thanks for the encouragement. I know its suppose to get easier and it will...but its like you STILL have to go thru the fire and that is why we need each other. Time heals all wounds...i will keep saying that to myself. Not half the emotional wreck I use to be....guess Im getting better.

[9Lives]

Hang in there. It's hard to get over a lost love. Things will get easier. I sat in your seat a few years ago and was devastated beyond believe. But, I am very happy now. You will and can get through this.

 

I wouldn't rush in to a relationship too fast. It took me two years to start dating again. I just wasn't ready and when you aren't ready it's not really going to anyone any good because you could hurt the other person or yourself more.

 

Hang in there...

 

Thank you thank you thank you. Know you took your sweet time to start dating again is encouraging. seem like most people are so anxious to get someone in their life and pants. I want to get myself again back. where I am me for the sake of being me. I get lonely sometimes but I still want to have a clear mind and head. I have been doing alot of dating tho. Its been kinda nice but im empty inside really. I think i just like the attention. I dont lead them on but i cant give them too much of myself.

[9Lives]

Sometimes I think that even being on this forum helps to perpetuate the memories of our exes in our hearts... perhaps we are overrating our exes anytime we post or read a message...

 

But then I realized I'm healing with just talking to you guys...

 

Trovador, I kinda think that way too. I try not to come on here unless Im feeling bad. It might keep us hooked on the past to be on here at times. But LS helps us heal too. Its a double edge sword sometimes. Some things I just cant read cause Im not trying to cultivate those neg feelings within myself again.

 

I want to come on here to do dating forum at times. we will see.

[femaletroubles]

i honestly think that you never 100% get over the other person. You'll always care or at least have strong emotions toward that person. But the realization that you are just not right for each other will set in with time. Day by day you think about them less and less, and eventually you move on.

 

You're right, no need to go jumping into another relationship, however i think many of us miss that intimacy, and a few "poor decisions" in the night may not be that bad of a decision at all...in the long run.

 

In the end, you must be comfortable and confident with yourself, before you can be comfortable with someone else

[broken19]

Everything you say sounds like me. Just like you I fell so DEEP in love with him. In my eyes he was the perfect man...so many little and big things which I love about him. Pity he could not see it and your ex could not either. Mine had issues going way back to his childhood. Cops were involved as well one night as he was just out of control and apologised so much after that and every now and then would admit that he never meant any of that. I just felt so sorry for him and wanted him to get better. You don't leave a loved one because they have an illness...I loved him like my family. We planned to marry, get old together..so many good things he has forgotten. The way he was not many girls could have tolerated it for long but I was older than him and had patience. And that's what is hard. He sounds so different now (post break up), so arrogant and self centered but my heart still loves him. I wonder if one day he will see what he has done and regret it. He has a whoe lot of issues which are too long to write but I am currently in the same boat as you but I can't date. He is everywhere in my mind, everywhere I go as we used to spend lots of time together. One thing which makes me slightly happy but scared at the same time is that I want to go back to my job at the hospital and do what I used to do..help people..there is a lot of comfort in helping others. And you sound like a nice person who sees the good in people...my ex usually put people down and never had any experience in life to help him get inspired to live life happily. But I know I have done good in life and I am a helpful person who even would help a person on the street. Sometimes this quality can be bad but it's me and I will continue to do this. That's one of the reasons I thought I could help him but he has to want the help. So yes, do all the things you are doing...it is tough now but like everyone says time will heal...it's different for everyone....even therapists go through these rough patches in life that's why they become therapists...with time. All the best and we are all here for you I guess:) Remember who YOU are...do not let another human being consume your life and make you into someone you are not. Do not give them the power to rule your life..it is hard I know as you love him so much..it is soooo hard for me but I want to do it for myself and my family who have been with me since the break up and who love me unconditionally just like I love him. Good luck dear!