ARush Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 Need to Get Back with her It’s been over a month since she cut off contact .I was determined to keep contact but she was also adamant this time. Okay this is what I’m talking about we met randomly Outside College. We dated for about 2 months soon after we met. At the time I was just fascinated by having a girlfriend who was hot and crazy about me. I wasn’t so attracted to her at the time and she was holding back cause she wanted things to last .I was offered so much more by a girl who was hotter so I left her .But I knew something wasn’t right seeing her face after the break-up killed my interest in the hotter girl. And I broke it off with her. I approached my ex but she said that I had hurt her and she hated me but she still continued talking to me she told her best friend that in her head they were on a break but to me she was not at all like that .She did come to forgive me I think she did cause she said you’re just Horney that does not mean you’re a bad person. Then there was this one time where we got high and then intimate. But then after that time it was like we broke up you should get it in your head. But we were still talking a lot which lands up to be sharing a lot. She went away for a vacation she said she missed me. We got kind of little close but I had options again but this time I asked her if she wanted to date me anytime soon because it was close to 10 months since my break up with the other girl and I hadn’t really moved on. I told her I could not be hanging in the middle like this I asked her to make a choice and she said she was confused again and I tried moving on again. She had also tried moving on but two out of the three times she landed up not trying for no reason I know. And she cut off relation with the third guy because he was bad news. Then comes the most confusing part I am around the corner I call her we decide to meet We talk about the past we both are nostalgic .I tempt her with all I’ve got and she gets intimate with me. After I reached home I wrote a small poem on how much I miss her. She has spoken to her friends about what happened and she realized it could get confusing from here. So she asked me to send her all our pictures as she wanted to see them after which she told me that they should not be friends and this is not the way its supposed to be,I hope you will understand some day.And she broke off communication. I had three questions 1.I believe it is possible for me to get her back. What should I do?? 2.I don’t understand what she said I would understand? 3.I need help understanding her perspective? I was thinking What would be the best way to get into contact with her as she wont answer my calls wont reply to my messages blocked me on IM and deleted me on FB?I am thinking two things In the upcoming break Ill go and stay at my grandparents which is quite close to her house .Ill try hanging around the places its probable to see her or Ill call her from a random number and hope she picks up,Even if she does what would be the best think to say to her and i really love her and i want her back in my life .
chocolate_boy Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 Need to Get Back with her It’s been over a month since she cut off contact .I was determined to keep contact but she was also adamant this time. Okay this is what I’m talking about we met randomly Outside College. We dated for about 2 months soon after we met. At the time I was just fascinated by having a girlfriend who was hot and crazy about me. I wasn’t so attracted to her at the time and she was holding back cause she wanted things to last .I was offered so much more by a girl who was hotter so I left her .But I knew something wasn’t right seeing her face after the break-up killed my interest in the hotter girl. And I broke it off with her. I approached my ex but she said that I had hurt her and she hated me but she still continued talking to me she told her best friend that in her head they were on a break but to me she was not at all like that .She did come to forgive me I think she did cause she said you’re just Horney that does not mean you’re a bad person. Then there was this one time where we got high and then intimate. But then after that time it was like we broke up you should get it in your head. But we were still talking a lot which lands up to be sharing a lot. She went away for a vacation she said she missed me. We got kind of little close but I had options again but this time I asked her if she wanted to date me anytime soon because it was close to 10 months since my break up with the other girl and I hadn’t really moved on. I told her I could not be hanging in the middle like this I asked her to make a choice and she said she was confused again and I tried moving on again. She had also tried moving on but two out of the three times she landed up not trying for no reason I know. And she cut off relation with the third guy because he was bad news. Then comes the most confusing part I am around the corner I call her we decide to meet We talk about the past we both are nostalgic .I tempt her with all I’ve got and she gets intimate with me. After I reached home I wrote a small poem on how much I miss her. She has spoken to her friends about what happened and she realized it could get confusing from here. So she asked me to send her all our pictures as she wanted to see them after which she told me that they should not be friends and this is not the way its supposed to be,I hope you will understand some day.And she broke off communication. I had three questions 1.I believe it is possible for me to get her back. What should I do?? 2.I don’t understand what she said I would understand? 3.I need help understanding her perspective? I was thinking What would be the best way to get into contact with her as she wont answer my calls wont reply to my messages blocked me on IM and deleted me on FB?I am thinking two things In the upcoming break Ill go and stay at my grandparents which is quite close to her house .Ill try hanging around the places its probable to see her or Ill call her from a random number and hope she picks up,Even if she does what would be the best think to say to her and i really love her and i want her back in my life . You dated for 2 months, it's unlikely you love her, that's still infatuation. You dumped her because another girl caught your eye, now you want her back, this is likely a case of "you want what you can't have".
Author ARush Posted October 2, 2010 Author Posted October 2, 2010 You dated for 2 months, it's unlikely you love her, that's still infatuation. You dumped her because another girl caught your eye, now you want her back, this is likely a case of "you want what you can't have". Two months is not something like love at first sight .Im not saying that the probability of love in two months is relatively high .But the problem of probability and relationships being inter-connected along with presumptions is that generalizations are close to impossible for example you may examine four couples from the same area or college and predict the fifth one and you will be shocked to see how different this would be compared to the other four.Im not saying my case is that of a complete extreme but it may not be exactly the same as anything you you have seen before.
Don Ho Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Bro, WTH are you talking about?? She has made it very clear, by totally cutting you off, that she DOES NOT want anything to do with you. So you're going to stay with your grandparents and find her? One word for you then: STALKER. Leave her alone. You're obsessed with her, she is not with you. Forget it, move on, you fcked up.
Author ARush Posted October 2, 2010 Author Posted October 2, 2010 No mate i have decided not to do that.I dont wanna become a stalker.I met her at a club but we dint talk i just want that to go away i just wanna be able to talk to her.I was horrible to cheat on her like that .If she doesent respond its shattering for me as i feel guilty and cant get myself to face her.So asking her to face me would be a little harsh.Forgiveness may come but the hurt wont go away easily.I tried to stay away from her and for sometime was under the illusion that i could.I hope I havent done to much damage and that she could be happy.I hear of her throwing herself at some guys i know and i feel terribly bad.At the same time i learnt so much from this impulsive mistake i made .I dunno why i feel im the only one who has the scope to treat her the way she deserves best.(though its ironic i say it).I cant seem to explain that.Im not saying that a guy who has morals better than i do couldnt treat her well . He could.But i still feel that im meant for it and ill be able to do a good job.Somehow i sense the same from her.Im not asking her to acknowledge it(But untill i cant bring her to that stage i wont ever know.Confused on this one).I was weak and a fool.I wanna tell her that she has so much more than me.I wanna tell her that love was something that would stunt my growth as an indivisual but after i met her it felt like something that would set me free.I realize that now.Im willing to see the situation from her eyes.Only if she would talk to me .
Don Ho Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Well that's what happens when you mistreat and cheat: you are stuck with regret all by yourself. Talking to her is an attempt to make YOU feel better, not her. Leave it alone and learn.
Author ARush Posted October 4, 2010 Author Posted October 4, 2010 Well that's what happens when you mistreat and cheat: you are stuck with regret all by yourself. Talking to her is an attempt to make YOU feel better, not her. Leave it alone and learn. "time is a great healer, you will eventually manage to put it behind you" is crap so i dont think ill learn anything I Genuinely have accepted that the realtionship is over. I have even stopped dreaming and fgantasising about a reconciliation (mostly).But it still doesent get better After this comes the issue Allowing myself to grieve .I cant manage to do that I cant hear about her throwing herself around.It is deeply saddening & makes me feel guilty.I met an old friend today he told me that she tried to hook up with him.He called her desperate i shot back at him saying WHAT ?? and then controlled myself from reacting further and played along to get a little more info.He said he refused her which brought a smile to my face . I spoke about the problems she had caused exaggerating the situation.And spoke untruth and twisted around the situation i feel guilty . Coming to sadness .I have tried sharing little by little with a few but NO one understands what im going through.I was only close to completing the story with one person and she also could not understand me .Family is not close enough for me to be able to discuss with them the forums are where ive got the best knowledge .I cant even manage to put across my feelings properly.As she said i dont think i have understood myself properly she told me to read The Bridge Across Forever: A True Love Story and One by Richard Bach & Narcissus and Goldmund (which is about men !!! Thats what i saw on wikipedia.) Coming to "Anger is best dealt with alone - the unfairness of the universe" I am angry at myself but my heart tells me it can be alright.I dont blame anyone else for my actions and the circumstances im facing are created by myself and i feel that everything in my life is done by my initiative so i must take an initiative an make it right.Whatever i have achieved in my life which is not much but still its done by me chasing after my goals and i feel i must do that to the back of my mind i know it might not be right but i dont really know im in a dilenma Ive been playing it really safe so far in my life still calling myself a risk taker due to the other aspects in my life .I had never left anything to chance but the experiences that i went through made me realise that ive done wrong in the past.Its hit me harder than anything ive known and to see her this way has got me blown away in anxiety i dont know what to think.Alcohol has lost its high nothing seems to satisfy my mind.Im in a dilenma about what to do .Your suggestions are highly appreciated .
Don Ho Posted October 4, 2010 Posted October 4, 2010 Bro, I think you need to post in "Coping" maybe someone will have some good advice for you there. Good luck.
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