Riley_5000 Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 HiI've suspected my girlfriend for a while now, and recently found a text message on her phone from a guy. Without going into detail, suffice to say that the text is virtually proof of an affair. Before confronting her, I'd like to make certain.I want to call this fellow, and somehow unsuspiciously fish info out of him. Any ideas on how I may do that? Do you have any other suggestions on how to solidly confirm my suspicions?Thanks
PegNosePete Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 Just tell her you know what is going on. Don't tell her what information you have or where you got it. Don't say you read her messages because she'll try to play the "invasion of privacy" card. If you're confident enough and stick to your guns, the truth will come out. Worked for me.
grungesponge Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 Why do you want all the sordid details? Just dump her otherwise you will drive yourself crazy.
Kinder-Horror Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 Is the guy someone you know? Does he work with her? Go to school with her? Is it someone she ever brings up? It's hard to say until you give more information about the guy.
make me believe Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 Calling the guy sounds like a huge waste of time. How exactly do you think you'd be able to get info from him?? As soon as he realizes who you are, he'll probably hang up the phone! What did the text say? If it was inappropriate in some way, you can confront her about it without accusing her of having an affair and gauge her reaction from there. If she freaks out, gets super defensive, or starts bawling about it, you know something is up. I agree with PegNosePete -- tell her you know something's going on, and be calm & firm & confident. Eventually you'll find out everything you need to know.
Author Riley_5000 Posted October 1, 2010 Author Posted October 1, 2010 Thank you. Unfortunately, I'd prefer not to go into detail about the text. We've been together for. Few years, and have a baby daughter together, which is why I'm hesitant to confront her with my suspicions.
MichiganMan222 Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 If it were me, and I wasn't 100% sure, I'd lay traps to catch her red-handed. I can understand your hesitation. If she doesn't know you know, it should be easy.
PegNosePete Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 Thank you. Unfortunately, I'd prefer not to go into detail about the text. We've been together for. Few years, and have a baby daughter together, which is why I'm hesitant to confront her with my suspicions. You can share the text contents if you like dude. We've heard it all before on this site. This site is completely anonymous. All we know about you is that your real name might or might not be Riley, we don't even know if that's a first name or last name If you don't want to share the exact contents then you could give us a vague idea: was it referring to an encounter in the past, was it sex talk ("sexting"), or was it referring to some future meet-up? It might be that they haven't done anything physical yet. Confronting her before anything happens might prevent that happening. Waiting to gather more info might not be the right play here. But yeah, calling the dude is most likely not a good idea. And having a daughter means it's more important to get to the truth, for your daughter's sake, better to fix the problem now than wait for it to get worse.
Author Riley_5000 Posted October 1, 2010 Author Posted October 1, 2010 In her inbox, he left a msg saying that he tried to call, but couldn't get hold of her. Her reply was to this effect: "thanks for calling. I can't wait to see you tomorrow. I miss you so much. Love you. This guy is not related to her, I don't who he is exactly, and she's never mentioned his name. The writing's on the wall, but I need solid proof. How can I trap her?
PegNosePete Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 Damn, sorry dude. You've got all the proof you need. You don't need any more. She is totally busted. You can walk up to her with confidence and tell her you KNOW what is going on. If she keeps denying it then tell her you know she is lying. She should crack and tell you the truth eventually. If not then just dump her on the spot.
ComeUndone Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 In her inbox, he left a msg saying that he tried to call, but couldn't get hold of her. Her reply was to this effect: "thanks for calling. I can't wait to see you tomorrow. I miss you so much. Love you. This guy is not related to her, I don't who he is exactly, and she's never mentioned his name. The writing's on the wall, but I need solid proof. How can I trap her? Can you look at her cell phone bill and see how much activity is going on between them? Is she on the computer much? You could download a keylogger/spyware on your home computer... If she's cheating with this guy then there's other proof to be discovered besides just text messages.
PegNosePete Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 Can you look at her cell phone bill and see how much activity is going on between them? Is she on the computer much? You could download a keylogger/spyware on your home computer... If she's cheating with this guy then there's other proof to be discovered besides just text messages. No more proof is needed. OP has everything he needs. "Miss you so much, love you"? That is not something that his SO should be saying to another guy! Time to confront, right now!
Author Riley_5000 Posted October 1, 2010 Author Posted October 1, 2010 It's over. I'm sad for my daughter. Leaving now. Thank you.
karnak Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 It's over. I'm sad for my daughter. Leaving now. Thank you. Whenever you feel you need to vent, come here. There are wonderful people on this forum who will try to give you support. All the best to you and your baby daughter. Hang on in there, man.
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