I asked guy what were his intentions

[Lucky555]

He said he did not see a long term.. I was confused because he has been pursuing me not asking me out though just being flirty and interested in my life. He said he did not do flings and then now he didn't see anything long term? I'm confused. He basically implied he was interested but obviously it seems He is looking for a fling.

 

Do guys know right off what they want. I would really need time spent with the guy to consider long term. I thought if there is interest people date and find out if they are compatible this is how I approached my past relationships.

 

 

So in this case was this guy trying to say I'm not interested in anything except sex? He has been cheated on before and has been engaged about four years ago. However I get the sense he still has issues.

This guy was my ex. Very short lived relationship and I basically reached the point now where I needed to know his intentions this way I can move on completely if his intentions did relate to what I want.

 

I know he's an ex for a reason I just didn't understand why he was acting like he was. I guess I found out.

I am not officially over most of it as I was not in love with him.

 

Now I'm just left perplexed. I don't understand why he was pursuing

Me when he didn't want to make time and he still doesn't have time for a relationship. So he says but it's a lie since he could take a vacation recently.

 

Hope someone could answer my question. I'm already too tired of this guy so I'm not going back to talking to him. I don't feel angry that much anymore I more so feel numb and manipulated or lied to.

[Serenitynow]

You're not allowed to be upfront with people. Didnt you read that chapter in the dating handbook?

 

You cant ask someone a direct question that leaves them little wiggle room

 

I always do this with women I talk to. I am direct and to the point. You can tell they cant stand it.

 

Most people assume you are going to beat around the bush, and play the game.

 

I will be single forever because nobody wants to be direct with each other.

[AverageJoe]

I always do this with women I talk to. I am direct and to the point. You can tell they cant stand it.

 

Most people assume you are going to beat around the bush, and play the game.

 

I will be single forever because nobody wants to be direct with each other.

 

I am the same way. I am straight up with women and sometimes it drives them nuts. It doesnt compute to them. Then, they feel they think there is something wrong with YOU! Not always, but when it does happen they immediately want to fix it. When that happens I run with it.

 

There is nothing wrong with being single. I love it! I am not looking for a relationship (I have said it here before) and some women I have met cannot fathom that I am happier than I have ever been. Ever!

 

So look, he was upfront with you. Appreciate that and act accordingly in regards to what you want. If you dont like it, leave. Simple.

[Lucky555]

I usually am not direct and in the past the guys have been the ones to say they want a relationship ect. However this guy my ex was pursuing me for four months and just within these past two weeks he has been talking to me for hours everyother day.

 

As you see I'm confused! He never did ask me out which is why I had to ask what was going on.

 

I would like to know the other persons intentions I think it's always important to know. I don't want to waste time with someone who wants a fling. If he wanted to just date like I do I would then

See if it progresses.

 

So i do know in most cases that im never supposed to ask a guys interest. I know this drives them away. However this guy was an ex and I felt as though I had to either stop talking to him or see what was going on.

 

I guess his response is weird. I'm also not in love with the guy so i figured I better get out of whatever was going on before he broke my heart again.

I know if a guy is interested he will ask me.

 

But four months of chasing and never asking me out is odd.

 

Ugh dating stinks. Lol I'm just waiting for someone to be real! I'm am direct person usually...but i do think it's really important to find out what another person wants in a relationship.

 

Thanks for your reply...maybe he felt trapped? I don't see the big deal in asking though!

[that girl]

Do not rationalize this with "maybe he felt trapped."

 

If you ask a guy if he is looking for a long term relationship and he says no, he generally means it. When that guy is your ex and he's been chasing you for months, I can't see anything but he wants to sleep with you again but not have a relationship.

[Veronica K]

Don't second-guess yourself, Lucky. I think you did the right thing by being direct with him in this situation.

[Lucky555]

thank you everyone. It makes so much more sense when someone else can help me to make sure I'm not over thinking what I just did.

 

I plan on keeping no contact even though i said he and i could be friends. I am also satisfied that I no longer have to guess what his intentions are or if I was making a mistake for talking to him and wasting my time. I do see all the hours i wasted now.

 

This guy is like a leech that I can't get rid of. Its like just when i am content and happy he always comes back around. Its a vicious cycle and I want to end it now! Its my fault for responding to him..and now i wont be.