BugsBunny Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 Hi, I have been married to my husband for 3 years (known him for 10 years) and I do not have a very good relationship with my mother in law. I've tried do hard to get on with her but we just do not see eye to eye. In the begining I invited her to go shopping but she would just dismiss me. I've tried to speak to her about the very little things we have in common but I feel like I am wasting my time. She has got no interest in what I do and asks me very little so it always feels like one way traffic. She tries to belittle me when I speak by either ignoring me and pulling a face. She took no interest in our wedding and on my wedding day did not congratulate me or my husband but choose to alienate herself in the cornor of the room. All the way through the ceremony she was apprently starring out of the window. This made me feel really sad not for myself but for my husband. All she could say after the event when she saw the photo's was that she was ill that day. She made no effort to order any photos of the day from the photographer. Instead I bought her a copy as a mementom of the day. Ever since then things have been difficult and we have gone up to 6 six weeks without speaking and I feel like it's gone so long I know her a lot less. We never get invited to any social occasions or even round to the house. Last Christmas she paid for her other son and his girlfriend to go away for the night with them and we never got an invite which makes me feel like she has a real problem with me. We would never expected them to pay for us but it more that we were never asked. I can honestly say that I have tried my best to get on with her, but my husband feels like it's not me and it is her. He think she is the one with the problem not me. He said that as a child she would always say that she wished she had a girl as boys fly the nest any never come back. The sad thing is the more she goes on like this she is actually making it happen as she believes it that much. Her behaviour is not only pushing me away it is her son. Not sure what to do as things are awkward! Any sugestions?
LoveAintEverything Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 Seems like his mother needs to grow the f up. She is an immature lil bitch that clearly has issues of her own. I would personally keep pushing her away, so maybe when she realizes its too late she will feel like ****
quankanne Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 be civil, be respectful, be polite ... but don't expect his mother to become involved in a two-way relationship. Some people just don't have it in him. If possible, help foster a stronger relationship between him and your family. Because while he might not say anything about his mom's behavior bothering him, to some degree it does, and having your family be *his* loving family will take away a lot of the sting from his mom's behavior. that said, I wouldn't worry about bending over backward to gain her affection or attention, because she has got to be willing to make the effort to meet you half-way. you're a good wife for worrying, BB
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