listen_to_me_please Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 this may seem odd but.... i saw a girl, i wanted the girl, i took the girl, i feel in love with the girl. fast forward 1.5 years i wanted to marry the girl, i was addicted to the girl, girl was cheating, girl was leaving, her best friend told me the girl was having sex with another, the girl had moved on. i broke up with the girl, i said allot of things, it dragged out for a month, i ended up getting my head smashed in by the girl, girl ended up blaming me and pulled a switch a roo. fast forward 2.5 years. i checked girls facebook, girl had changed her profile picture, the old one she had was one of us on a date. she never changed it in 2.5 years even though she was a fb junkie. i never contacted the girl, the girl never contacted me but my point is this: since she changed her pic, a sigh of relief over came me, almost as if i can stop worrying now, almost as if i know for sure she's moved on and now i'm thinking to myself "I never have to check up on her again, she's OK' Why am I thinking this? someone with more experience please help me understand.
ohno89 Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 this may seem odd but.... i saw a girl, i wanted the girl, i took the girl, i feel in love with the girl. fast forward 1.5 years i wanted to marry the girl, i was addicted to the girl, girl was cheating, girl was leaving, her best friend told me the girl was having sex with another, the girl had moved on. i broke up with the girl, i said allot of things, it dragged out for a month, i ended up getting my head smashed in by the girl, girl ended up blaming me and pulled a switch a roo. fast forward 2.5 years. i checked girls facebook, girl had changed her profile picture, the old one she had was one of us on a date. she never changed it in 2.5 years even though she was a fb junkie. i never contacted the girl, the girl never contacted me but my point is this: since she changed her pic, a sigh of relief over came me, almost as if i can stop worrying now, almost as if i know for sure she's moved on and now i'm thinking to myself "I never have to check up on her again, she's OK' Why am I thinking this? someone with more experience please help me understand. LTMP - I'm sorry I can't really offer much advice to you, partially because I actually went through a similar thing..very similar actually: We saw each other, we wanted each other, we got each other. 1.5 yrs together, a lot of ups and downs but we got through it, we could see each other getting married one day. He randomly calls a break on me, cheats and goes on "holiday" with the girl within a month; it was planned when he was still with me (i say "holiday" because it was basically a drug-fest in which the girl could get him free drugs). Ex had deleted me off FB a couple weeks after the break up and when he and this girl start becoming more obvious on FB. I - in a couple random moments of utter weakness - go on his profile to see their "holiday" pictures and then some more after they got back. Now, since the whole "break" he sprung on me, my ex has only changed his profile picture (the only part of his profile i can see) a few times in the last 4.5 months and all of him, by himself and looking unhappy or indifferent. I try not to read into it as I'm sure he doesn't even care enough but I've seen a lot of his summer pictures and will even admit there are some okay-ish ones of them two, or even nice ones of him on his own or him with his friends, but he's always chose to opt for the miserable looking ones of himself...as I said, I try not to read into it, like he's trying to send out a message or whatever but it actually made me question - like you - if he was okay. Even after everything he did and the fact that he clearly doesn't care about me...I still wondered what was really going through his head and if he was okay. His most recent change was of him and a friend of his - the first one of him and an actual other person and not looking totally miserable since the break up and - like you - that too made me relieved in a way, that he's stopped with all the self-pity, "feel sorry for me, i look so unhappy/i'm so deep and complicated" pictures....it made me stop feeling sorry for him and let go of any questions of his welfare... I mean, if he looks happy in his profile picture, it must mean he's happy in life right?! Haha But I can kinda understand where you're coming from....maybe we were clinging onto a bit of hope and that kepts us somewhat engaged as if they're still thinking about us or need us and are trying to send out a message to us, but now, we can maybe finally let go of those thoughts...? Sorry for rambling!
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